I Am Your Star and You Are My Sky

The night was dark, the stars were bright

I called your phone, we talked all night

For hours so long we laughed and smiled

In the night so mild but we were wild

We've loved each other for a long time now

We never gave up, we showed faith in our vow

Our love was rare but so are we

We never cared 'cause today we're free

You are my prince in this scary place

You've loved me since the very first day

I've loved you since I touched your face

You said you'll never leave, that this isn't a play

You may not be perfect but you are for me

You are my sky while I am your star

We'll prove forever exists so they'll see

We may not be perfect but this love is ours.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

I like the simplicity of your expression here. Your rhyming is not following a regular pattern, but I don't think rhyming has to be the same thru-out. In many of your lines, the rhythm is similar, but once in awhile there's a longer line that feels like it could be pruned back by removing a couple extra words that don't fit into the overall rhythm scheme. Example (stanza2/lines 1&2) . . . could be: We loved each other forever now, not giving up faith in our vow (this is just one possibility of trimming a few syllables to maintain the rhythm of the first stanza).

I do not like the last line . . . it feels like the word "scar" is being used just to get the rhyme. Love ALWAYS has scars, so this is not believable or realistic. I don't like love poems that are all good becuz life is never all good. It makes writing more multi-layered to show contrasts of good & bad, light & dark, pain & pleasure. Otherwise a love poem is one-dimensional.

[Hebe]

Beautiful ... love the simplicity of it !

[~Sarah~ Idríel T..]

So beautiful poem! I liked it a lot.

"You are my sky while I am your star"

Keep up the good work!

[Jenny Leigh]

Very nice. I liked the emotion you expressed in this poem.

[Emily]

Lovely poem!
I really liked it!
Keep on writing!!

[J.M. Wise]

Good poem, your flow has improved tremendously! Maybe start trying to organize syllables within your poetry but good improvement.

[Anjali]

A 100/100 for this amazing poem on love. I liked the title and everything you've expressed about what one feels when in love.

Keep on writing more excellent pieces of work!

Happy Holidays Christian.

[Coyote Poetry]

Beautiful and kind words for love.
"You are my sky while I am your star"
I liked the above lines. Thank you Christian for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Ruth]

I really found this refreshing, the promise that love can indeed be "forever" and with understanding. Love is an art and you show so here, beautiful...

[Neal S]

Nice piece. Some of my work tends to pull from dark places..She loved me once but now she's gone, kind of thing. Its nice to read something that has a love throughout. Cool work!