Your turn

Red rivers flow,

As the speech becomes slow,

Dazed, vision blurred,

The amount of pain is absurd,

Salty water also flows over cold skin,

Mixes with the blood,

The poison slithering through the veins,

Unexpected hurting,

Just like it should,

The screams are not as peircing,

As they fall upon deaf ears,

Individuals dwelling on their worst fears,

Ignorant, naive people will say,

Your turn to die wasn't now,

But it will come one day...

Reviews

[Michael Mwachofi]

Aside from the single typo in the tenth line: "Peircing----> piercing?" I think this was a commendable effort! Nice and short.

~M.Babu~

[Sukriti Suki]

a good one.

[Jess Holden]

Amazing use of language!! geez, i love your writing :D

[Chris Smith Welshpoetcs]

Good words.

[Aidz]

interesting write, I like it well done

[FaithfullyJennyBear]

o.O A tad scared, but other than that, this poem is amazing, I woudl love to know your inspiration :D x