California

California

A Poem by Brannon

California she'll kill you 
with those long warm nights
and wild neon lights
So, hot blooded California 

You can't take it slow
When she's around 
She'll make you go down 
But she so beautiful California 

She'll kill with a smile 
As you in brace , those sunny days 
She'll just run you wild
Oh she just lovely California 

She has her own way 
Dancing, romancing, prancing 
As she crosses the stage 
Oh she's wild linda California  

© 2013 Brannon



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Being from California, I get this piece in a way that some others probably don't. It is true...the "neon lights" (which are a good metaphor for the call of "fame and fortune in Hollywood") have taken many a man (and woman) to his knees. There is a beauty here, but also a definite "culture" that sort of takes on a life of its own, and if you can't keep up, you'll be left in the lurch.

Posted 4 Years Ago


Brannon

4 Years Ago

EXACTLY, I WAS BORN IN VENTURA BEACH AND SPENT A LOT OF TIME DOWN AROUND IMPERIAL BEACH, I LOVER HER.. read more
This is a really good poem although it suffers just a tad. The commas seem misplaced and other parts seem too rushed. Did you mean to put in brace rather than embrace? A couple of words are missing apostrophes. (she)

Despite any errors though, I really like the way you've personified Linda California with its many traits. There's a quality or style to this poem that is captivating and if one overlooks any minor flaws they'll find a poem worth reading. I enjoyed this.

Posted 4 Years Ago


Brannon

4 Years Ago

THANK YOU, SHE IS MY HOME STATE, VENTURA BEACH.
Relic

4 Years Ago

You're welcome.

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Added on August 20, 2013
Last Updated on August 20, 2013

Author

Brannon
Brannon

Centerville , WA



About
First I'm a free thinker, that gets in trouble and always is optimistic, about everything. Sometimes I get down, but I get back up and start running down, this "road called life". more..

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