My thoughts over dinner

My thoughts over dinner

A Poem by Brandon

A gentle word, a spark of light. 
A glance, and each sound goes deeper.
There is no corner,
no dark place your love cannot fill. 
And if the world starts causing waves, 
its your devotion that makes them still.

© 2009 Brandon



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thats beautiful man, graceful flow of words that follows the resonance of the thought. its like set to candlelight and genuine trust the feeling it imparts. I so dig.

Posted 10 Years Ago


short and sweet. don't think that just because your poems are short doesn't mean that they lack quality. i personally tend to get long winded. in my opinion it takes more discipline to be able to convey a thought it a concise matter. i enjoy this poem. the title caught my attention. some very deep thoughts floating around over ole din din. i tend to be a daydreamer my self. good job. i really like your imagery here

Posted 10 Years Ago


you did a great job fitting your idea into such a small poem. and despite its size, it isnt lacking at all. so romantic too! :-)

Posted 10 Years Ago


...I loved this. I absolutely love your style that is sweet, short, and to the point. Your poems are precise and powerful and I wish more people would do that. Two quick suggestions, that are very small...

First, change "A gentle word a spark of light."-----to----->"A gentle word, a spark of light" the comma simple allows the poem to flow better, it also mimic what happens in the next line which is nice ^^

Second, play around with the line "A glance, and each sound goes deeper."... it's a bit awkward, I think it's the sound going deeper part... it just doesn't quite fit.

But anyway, this was lovely. Keep up the good work!

Posted 10 Years Ago


Beautiful and sweet poem, very nice I liked it very much

Posted 10 Years Ago


Simple but powerfully sweet. It's got a point and it reaches it well. Great piece :)

Posted 10 Years Ago


Its so short, and soft like. Its very sweet and i think its a great piece. The girl you wrote this for is a very lucky one.. :) Great write..

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

if this was written for me it would penetrate me very deeply. it is short but powerful and beautiful.


Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

wow...that's beautiful in the most subtle and ordinary way.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on February 16, 2008
Last Updated on April 10, 2009

Author

Brandon
Brandon

Oakdale, CA



About
Hey, my name is Brandon, and welcome to my page. I was born in merced California, then I moved to Germany, then to North Dakota, than to Minnesota, and recently back to the valley in California. I am .. more..

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