My thoughts over dinner

My thoughts over dinner

A Poem by Brandon

A gentle word, a spark of light. 
A glance, and each sound goes deeper.
There is no corner,
no dark place your love cannot fill. 
And if the world starts causing waves, 
its your devotion that makes them still.

© 2009 Brandon



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thats beautiful man, graceful flow of words that follows the resonance of the thought. its like set to candlelight and genuine trust the feeling it imparts. I so dig.

Posted 9 Years Ago


short and sweet. don't think that just because your poems are short doesn't mean that they lack quality. i personally tend to get long winded. in my opinion it takes more discipline to be able to convey a thought it a concise matter. i enjoy this poem. the title caught my attention. some very deep thoughts floating around over ole din din. i tend to be a daydreamer my self. good job. i really like your imagery here

Posted 9 Years Ago


you did a great job fitting your idea into such a small poem. and despite its size, it isnt lacking at all. so romantic too! :-)

Posted 9 Years Ago


...I loved this. I absolutely love your style that is sweet, short, and to the point. Your poems are precise and powerful and I wish more people would do that. Two quick suggestions, that are very small...

First, change "A gentle word a spark of light."-----to----->"A gentle word, a spark of light" the comma simple allows the poem to flow better, it also mimic what happens in the next line which is nice ^^

Second, play around with the line "A glance, and each sound goes deeper."... it's a bit awkward, I think it's the sound going deeper part... it just doesn't quite fit.

But anyway, this was lovely. Keep up the good work!

Posted 9 Years Ago


Beautiful and sweet poem, very nice I liked it very much

Posted 9 Years Ago


Simple but powerfully sweet. It's got a point and it reaches it well. Great piece :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


Its so short, and soft like. Its very sweet and i think its a great piece. The girl you wrote this for is a very lucky one.. :) Great write..

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

if this was written for me it would penetrate me very deeply. it is short but powerful and beautiful.


Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

wow...that's beautiful in the most subtle and ordinary way.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on February 16, 2008
Last Updated on April 10, 2009

Author

Brandon
Brandon

Oakdale, CA



About
Hey, my name is Brandon, and welcome to my page. I was born in merced California, then I moved to Germany, then to North Dakota, than to Minnesota, and recently back to the valley in California. I am .. more..

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