Logos Apatheia

Logos Apatheia

A Poem by Brandon
"

(the last words of a stoic poet)

"
Into my soul, I could not see,
a serpent, hidden within me.
Down in the depths, of this planetary sea.
There lies the Leviathan, born of men's dreams.
To be in at the death.
To speak with this last breath.
I bled a debt.
To promises, men have never kept.
(To this I must confess, before my body will rest)
Clothed in cloth sown of a common thread.
We all live tributes to the dead.
Thor, during the battle of good and evil,
killed the serpent with a final blow.
Only to survive nine paces before
succumbing to its poison.
Pray in behalf of  those who bleed, 
For they are the ones who are in need. 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

© 2009 Brandon



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Featured Review

Oh wow. This is..... amazing. It's powerful and one of the best things I've read in a long time. There was one line that was awkward "To be in at the death" and didn't make sense but other than that this was amazing. I love the allusion to mythology, it gave this a old world feel almost. This was amazing. I'm steeling it for my favorites.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

nice... we should all care for the ones who bleed... anyway... nice write and have a great one... - ed

Posted 8 Years Ago


I don't know why I've missed this excellent write! Wonderful poetry.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Fantastic piece! I love the darkness, and the subtle rhyming. The title completely rocks! I'm with Kena on this, I knew within the first 3 lines that it was good. It grabbed my attention and kept it. Nicely done!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

not what i expected, which is good. Written sufficiently. i don't think you should use the ( ) in the middle of the poem... didn't seem right to myself...

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

To promises, men have never kept.
(To this I must confess, before my body will rest)
this line is pure lyrical beauty.
your write with a sad elegance which makes each line dance.
wonderful work.



Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Excellent! I knew this by first three lines. I can usually tell if I am going to like the poem that early on.

Into my soul, I could not see,
a serpent, hidden within me.

self-explanatory. anyone would want to read more by those two stanzas. I favorited it too, because I thought it was a strong poem, with strong metaphors, and very enjoyable. I look foward to reading more of your works. thanks.

kena



Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is really a good write, Brandon! Your first line grabbed my attention, because it is so universal - I think everyone knows they have a 'serpent within'. Only line I"m not clear about it is: To be in at the death
Not sure quite what you want to say with that line. My favorite lines are last two, they really bring the message home - good job!!!

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Pray in behalf of those who bleed,
For they are the ones who are in need.

These two lines struck a chord in me - though this entire piece is beautiful and majestic. the imagery here is fantastic; painting pictures of forgotten heroes and foes. wonderfully done.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Oh wow. This is..... amazing. It's powerful and one of the best things I've read in a long time. There was one line that was awkward "To be in at the death" and didn't make sense but other than that this was amazing. I love the allusion to mythology, it gave this a old world feel almost. This was amazing. I'm steeling it for my favorites.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A bit erie and haunting but also conveys a bit about humanity and the sacrifices we need to make to keep it strong... Very cool, thank for sharing it with me.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on September 1, 2008
Last Updated on April 9, 2009

Author

Brandon
Brandon

Oakdale, CA



About
Hey, my name is Brandon, and welcome to my page. I was born in merced California, then I moved to Germany, then to North Dakota, than to Minnesota, and recently back to the valley in California. I am .. more..

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