Again & Again

Again & Again

A Poem by Skai Rain
"

So on top of dealing with PTSD I was trying to reconnect with my mother, who of course soon had one of her vicious freak outs and I was forced onto the street again. This is about that.

"


Again & Again



Here I am again,


I have been betrayed by you once more.


Our relationship is one I tried to mend,


Tried to mend, to bend, again and again,


But now I see that I could never be...


I could never be someone you care for.


I hate that you take the responsibility for raising me,


When in reality... I did it all myself.


By myself, without you, in frozen nights


No shelter, no food, my heart was torn.


Again and again I would play pretend,


Just to pretend that you might love me.


And again and again I realise when I cry,


I cry on my own with no one to tell me it will be alright.


No one to even say good night.


I cry again and again, for the mother I never had.


For the warm, loving woman who doesn't exist.


And the sick thing is that I still want you back,


Again and again after all the venom you spew,


the venom I once thought was true.


That I should die.


That my worthless blood would never know love,


The more I breath the more you hate me like a drug.


No matter how much I struggle to be good for you.


To be the only child you have to protect and care for you.


If only you knew...


That again and again, I wait here and prove...


And prove you're not going to show.


So again and again... I stand alone.


I stand alone to raise the best woman you will never know.


© 2015 Skai Rain



Author's Note

Skai Rain
I am okay now. I was forced last minute to pack a small bag and start my life anew hours and hours away from everybody I know. But luckily, I have good people here to help me :)

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Reviews

The ending is spot on perfect. I think it's a beautifully tragic sort of sentiment, and it speaks to your strength to write it. And even more to display it. I applaud.

Posted 2 Years Ago


Emotional poem. I really hope you are okay. This poem is really powerful and though I don't know you, I hope that you will be the best woman your mother ever knew.

Posted 2 Years Ago


Emotion oozed freely here as it should. The maternal connection is the strongest biological one and when that goes awry a piece of us dies. Thanks for sharing...hang in there :)

Posted 2 Years Ago


Very good poem here, and the words held so much emotion and I could tell that you poured your heart and soul into it! Well done!

-Mila

Posted 2 Years Ago


Sometimes to stand alone pains but is needed...love n light to you Brit xo

Posted 2 Years Ago


I like this poem very moving and one I can easily relate to. I love the emotional value it carries, very well written indeed. To the writers i say write on!

Posted 2 Years Ago


I cry on my own with no one to tell me it will be alright.
No one to even say good night.

So again and again... I stand alone.
I stand alone to raise the best woman you will never know.

It was threatened but then you came back with lots of confidence which is Great.
I love this.

Posted 2 Years Ago


In absence of love and understanding all relationships become venomous no matter how close they may be by blood. I could completely relate to your poem.

Posted 2 Years Ago


That last line shows the resilience of your spirit. I feel your pain in this and a sadness that your mother doesn't realize the gift she has in you. Life shapes us in many different ways but ultimately we become our own artist and you have done a magnificent job. This is a heart-wrenching poem and I wish you could have the relationship you long for.

Posted 2 Years Ago



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Added on January 20, 2015
Last Updated on January 20, 2015

Author

Skai Rain
Skai Rain

Canada



About
My name is Brit and I've been writing since I was about eleven. My skill still isn't magnificent, but that's why I have come to this site. So please give me as much support as you can and I shall do .. more..

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For Love For Love

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