Chapter Twenty Five

Adrianna’s POV

            “Hello everyone!” Mackenzie pleasantly calls through my parents’ house as the five of us walk through the front door. Conner is attached to my hip, but I am hoping once he sees all his family and friends here that he’ll relax and go play.

            The girls quickly run past Mackenzie and go straight for the backyard. I try and put Conner down, but he just whines and latches on tighter around my neck.

            “No, mama!” I readjust him on my hip and follow after Mackenzie, who doesn’t even attempt to help with our clingy son.

            We make our way outside after seeing that no one was in the kitchen or family room. We’re on time, I know, because Mackenzie rushed us all out the door before I practically had the girls’ hair done, but it seems almost everyone is here already. Everyone from both our families are here, as well as some friends from the show, Amanda and Eric are both here as well, but keeping some distance from Ryan, who is talking with Dianna and Lea.

            I follow Kenz and the girls to our parents who are all fussing around the grill and food tables. The girls say their hellos and give hugs and kisses before running off. The three of us say our hellos and hugs, but Conner still refuses to be put down.

            “Conner, my arm is starting to hurt. Can you please stand?”

            “No, mama! No!” His arms once again tighten around my neck as my mom soothingly rubs his back.

            “Go sit down with him if you’re tired, Adrianna.” My girlfriend’s tone light, but short and I know it’s because Conner is here. She gives him a quick kiss on his cheek before excusing herself.

            “And what was that about?” My mother questions, but both sets of parents are looking at me like that time I got into a fight in high school, because some girl was being rude to Kenz. I feel like I’m sixteen all over again.

            “I really don’t want to talk about it. I’ll talk to you guys later.”

            I shift Conner to my other hip and he reburies his face into my neck. I walk over to where my brothers and Nicka are and sit down in one of the empty chairs, moving Conner so he’s straddling my legs, but looking out at everyone else. He doesn’t fuss, so I let him lean back onto my chest.

            “Hey, sis. Hey, little man!” I can tell by their reactions that Conner at least gave a smile or smirk. Probably his little half smile, half frown he gets when he’s trying not to smile, so he tries to frown, but his bright eyes give him away.

            “Hey everyone.” I sigh unintentionally and look toward Mackenzie who is laughing at something Heather said. She’s cradling and bouncing Noah in her arms and she just looks so beautiful. Why is she so pissed still?

            “What’s up, Ade?” Carlos questions and I break my gaze to look back towards my family. I look down at the top of Conner’s head, who is looking towards the swing set where his sisters are playing. “Ade, is everything okay?”

            I look back up and see that Lilly and Becca have joined the group as well. I just shrug. “Everything’s fine.”

            “Mama sleeped on the floor.” Conner rats me out to everyone else and they all start laughing hysterically. I can feel my cheeks start to heat up. Why, Conner?

            “Did you fall off the bed?” Miguel laughs, but I’m quick to answer.

            “No! I’m not three years old.”

            “Hey!” Conner looks back at me with a frown. I kiss his forehead and gently rub it with my thumb to smooth the wrinkles away.

            “Sorry, baby. I didn’t mean you.”

            “You mean when mommy doesn’t tiss you!” He exclaims and hops off my lap running towards Mackenzie. Great, now I have two pissed off Jacksons on my case.

            I didn’t realize that they all had stopped laughing until I broke eye contact with Kenzie’s back, who’s not holding a scowling Conner. “What’s going on? Are you and Kenz okay?” Lilly asks, her gaze moving from me to my girlfriend.

            “I didn’t do anything wrong!” I exclaim, probably more harsh than needed.

            “Why do you assume we’re accusing you?” Miguel wondered.

            “I don’t know, but I don’t want to tell you the story while you all are thinking I did something wrong.”

            “Alright?” Nicka says as she motions for me to get on with the story.

            What the f**k am I doing? I can’t tell them all this. I’ll be the laughing stock of the family for months. Years! No, I’ll talk to someone, but someone I know who’s been there before. Someone I know won’t blab…

            “En realidad, no importa. Voy a ir a ver a las niñas. Voy a verlos a todos más tarde.” I quickly get up and walk out to the grass, saying hello to everyone as I pass. I go to the swing set and the girls spot me before I can hit the sand.

            “Mama! Can you push us on the swings?” Anya asks as she slides down the tall slide.

            “Of course, mija!” I lift them both onto the swings and start pushing them in an alternating pattern. They’re both as high as I’ll allow them to go for how small they are, especially Anya, when Autumn speaks up.

            “Mama?”

            “Yea, baby girl?”

            “Do you and mommy love each other?”

            “Of course! You know mommy and I love each other very much and we love you girls and Conner too.”

            Autumn puts her feet down and digs her feet into the sand to slow herself down enough to get off the swing. She walks around the outside and stands next to me as I continue to push Anya who is softly singing to herself.

            “But you and mommy aren’t being nice. Do you not love each other today?” I lean over to pick up my oldest child and hold her in front of me, so I can look in her eyes.

            “Baby girl, I promise you that I love your mommy every single day. Including today. Mommy is just a little upset today, so I’m trying to stay away from her so she can calm down.”

            “Just kiss her!” She states as if it’s the most obvious solution to this whole thing and I smile, biting back my laughter. We’ve always had a ‘kiss and make up’ policy with the kids and I know she’s thinking that it’ll work for this situation as well.

            “Maybe later.”

            “Okay!” She shrugs. “Can we go see baby Noah?”

            “Of course!”

            “Me too! Me too! Me too!” Anya jumps off the, now still, swing and jumps up and down next to me. I put Autumn back down on my right side and crouch down in between them.

            “On your mark…” They both put their hands on the ground in front of them and I copy. “Get set…” The girls turn their heads toward me with wide smiles. “Go!” The three of us run towards Heather and Noah who are now talking with Mama Rivera and my mom. When we get there, Autumn beating the two of us, the three of them cheer and Heather kneels down so the girls can visit with their cousin.

            “That was very cute, Adrianna.” Mama Rivera praises while I catch my breath. Damn, our girls can run fast. “Where did you think of that?”

            “Actually, Mackenzie taught it to the kids. It helps them focus and transition easier from one place to another. Plus, it’s just kind of fun.” I shrug with a smile.

            “That girl of yours, Yolanda.” My mom says as she hands me a water bottle from the cooler. “So, are you and your other half actually going to talk to each other this afternoon or is everyone going to play tag team with you both?”

            “Mamí, quiero hablar con ella, pero she won’t even look at me since last night! She’s being ridiculous, en mi opinion.”

            “Adrianna Isabella! Your children are here. Do not talk about their mother that way.” My mom ushers me inside the house as if I came home after curfew and Mama Rivera follows, closing the glass door behind her.

            The bathroom door down the hall opens and Mackenzie comes out with Conner. The smaller blond running to me throwing his arms around my legs. Mackenzie finishes drying her hands, throwing the paper towel in the garbage can, before walking back over to the boy.

            “Come on, Conner. Let’s go outside.”

            “No! I want to stay with mama.” He whines and buries his face into the side of my leg. Mackenzie looks at me and silently asks if it’s okay, but I glances towards our moms and she gets the hint.

            “Nope, we’re going back outside.” She picks him up and he immediately starts to kick into her stomach, much like his sister did last week. “Conner James.” She stops walking right before heading out the back door, holding his chin so he looks at her. His eyebrows furrowed in a glare. “You do not kick me, because it hurts me a lot. Apologize right now, please.”

            “No! I don’t want you. I want mama!” He screams in her face and can see that her resolve is starting to weaken.

            “It’s fine, Kenz…” I walk towards the two of them with my arms out, but Mackenzie is quick to stop me.

            “No, Adrianna.” She doesn’t raise her voice, but even Conner flinches at the venom in her tone. “Conner, if I have to talk to you again about broken rules, you’re going to sit in time out. Do you understand?” Silence meets her question. “Conner James, this is your warning.”

            “I understand.”

            “I still need an apology for hurting me.”

            “Sorry.” He spits out and wiggles to be put down before running out the back door. Mackenzie doesn’t look towards the three of us who are still in the room. Just takes a deep breath before making her way outside.

            “You two need to stop this argument right now. You’re affecting the kids.”

            “I’ve tried to Mama Rivera, but she’ll barely look at me let alone have a conversation!” I start pacing in the kitchen. “For the last couple days she’s been ridiculous. All of a sudden she’s dieting again and wanting to go for runs twice a day. Yesterday she took all three kids for a walk, by herself! What if something were to happen? Then last night we were having se-.”

            I shut myself up before I spill anything to our moms. It’s not like they haven’t heard all this before, but I’m still a little hesitant. My mom opens her mouth to speak, but the back door opens again and a cry is heard before the source is seen, but I know it’s Conner.

            Naya is hugging her nephew close to her chest, but doesn’t say anything until the door is shut.

            “What is going on? Conner was just yelling at Mackenzie that she’s a mean mommy and that he wanted to be with you. She just ran into the pool house and left him there.” She passes the little boy to me who’s now hiccupping through his sobs. I cuddle him into my chest and immediately feel his tears dampen my chest and shirt.

            “I’m going to go put him down for a nap.” I say to no one in particular.

            It takes me another ten minutes to calm him down enough for him to fall asleep in the kids’ room. Both our parents have a room in the house for the kids to sleep when they visit. They are both decked out with toys and beds and now both rooms even have a crib for Noah.

            I make my way back downstairs and see that the three women are still standing in the kitchen. Deep down I knew they wouldn’t leave just because I did, although I’m sure someone went to go check on Kenz, but I figured they’d end up staying.

            “Sit down, Adrianna.” My mom gently tells me while pulling a chair out for me. The four of us sit in some silence for a while before Naya speaks up.

            “Are you going to tell us? We can’t read minds, you know.” Defensively crossing her arms over her chest.

            “It’s not my fault.” I mimic her position.

            “Of course not. What did you do?”

            “She’s being unreasonable.”

            “Girls! We don’t have time for this.” Mama Rivera gives us both a pointed look that tells us both to stop our attitudes. “Now, Adrianna, just tell us.”

            “Oh my god, Kenz. I can’t take it anymore. Ple-…”

            “Alright, I don’t need to hear this.” Naya says standing up.

            “Sit down. It’s not like we haven’t heard about yours and Heather’s sex life. What about that time that Heather got a bullet vibrator stuck for almost an hour?” My mom tells her and she looks away embarrassed. We all heard that story and trust me, I did not need to know that about my future sister-in-law, but that’s how I know I can tell them about this situation. “Continue.”

            “Okay, let me think.” I picture the night in my head, not saying anything out loud just yet.

            I feel the vibrations of my girlfriend’s hum through my core and it brings me even closer to the edge. “Soon, baby.” She continues her ministrations as she circles her tongue around my bundle of nerves before pushing two fingers deep inside me.

            “Uhhh. K-Kenzie, baby, please.” She works me up and just when I feel like she’s finally going to let me come, she pulls away completely and starts kissing up my thighs. She continues this and I feel myself starting to shiver from the fine sheen of sweat covering my body. We’ve been at this for hours.

            “Baby, please, I can’t take it anymo-…” She cuts me off by curling her fingers back into me and sucking hard on my c**t. My legs start to shake and my fingers instinctively tangle in her blonde locks, pulling her harder into me.

            “Faster, baby! Ah.. ah.. ah…”

            “Mommy! Mama! I’m thirsty!” Autumn calls sleepily through the intercom. Mackenzie abandons all care and jumps out of bed.

            “No! You can’t leave me like this!” I whine, squeezing my legs together to try and get whatever friction I can. I hear the sink in the bathroom turn off before my blonde sex stopper returns to the bedroom.

            “Mommy!”

            “I’ll be right back.” She tells me before putting her robe on.

            “I’m dripping! Finish me first. Please, baby.”

            “Two minutes. Promise.” She whispers lowly into my ear before she kisses the shell of it and rushes out of the room.

            I tell them the clean version of the buildup and then the water call before finishing the story.

            “So, I was waiting… and waiting… and I just couldn’t wait anymore! So I started…” I pause and look at the mothers before continuing. “Helping myself and she came back as I was finishing and flipped. the f**k. out! She started cussing me out and throwing pillows at me and telling me that I was being selfish.”

            I start to mimic her voice, “I spent hours pleasing you, making love to you so I could give you an amazing orgasm and you couldn’t wait five more minutes?” My hands involuntarily start waving as I continue with my rant.

            “I was so tired and I told her I didn’t understand why she was upset because, hello, the goal was the orgasm. She’s crying and telling me that I’m a selfish girlfriend and I’m barely able to keep my eyes open. I told her it wasn’t a big deal and she pushed me off the bed! She threw a pillow and blanket and my pyjamas at me and told me that if I tried sleeping with her that she’d go to the guest room.”

            “Well, you were being selfish.” Naya says matter of factly.

            “Since when is wanting our relationship to come first a bad thing. Just because we’re moms, that means we always have to put our children first? It was water. I can understand if something was majorly wrong, but we were in the middle of something and Kenz jumped up for a cup of water!”

            “It’s not that, Ade. It’s selfish to finish yourself!”

            “How?” I practically scream across the table. All of this is just annoying and I’m getting tired of all the fighting.

            “Imagine it the other way around! How would you feel?” Naya stands up and leans onto the table, resting on her hands, challenging me to fight her on it. I sit back into the chair and think about what she just said.

            What if I had been in Kenzie’s position?

            “S**t.”

            “Lengua!” The moms warn, but I don’t respond. I stand up and start pacing the room.

            “I-I just figured she was moody because the kids have all been super moody and clingy last week. It was right after Anya threw a fit on our Mommies and Me date and she started dieting and exercising. I just thought she was stressed or something. She didn’t ask for her inhaler.” I stop pacing and rush towards the back door. “S**t! She may need her inhaler!”

            “Ade!” Naya grabs me around the waist to stop me, but I try fighting out of her grip. “Ade! I already checked on her. She’s calm. Heather and Noah are with her.”

            I stop fighting and sit back down at the table.

            “Mackenzie told Naya what’s been going on.” Mama Rivera informs me when I sit down and I can’t help but look up shocked.

            “What’s been going on?”

            “Well, it’s not really anyone’s fault. My children all went through it.”

            “And so did you and your siblings.” My mother adds.

            “Went through what? What are you two talking about?” I start to panic, because I want to know how I can make everything better. I’ve been trying to talk to Mackenzie all day, but she won’t have any of it.

            “Mackenzie doesn’t feel needed.” I look to my girlfriend’s mother completely shocked. What? How does she feel that way? Without her our house would shut down.

            “H-How?”

            “You said Anya threw a fit. She told Naya it was because Anya didn’t want to be like her; that she wanted to be like you. True?” I silently nod my head, tears starting to escape my eyes. “So she started a diet and exercise program and you haven’t even acknowledged her about it. Then you finished yourself, telling her she was being ridiculous because you got yourself off and that’s what mattered. True?” Again, I nod my head. “Just forty minutes ago, Conner threw a fit, because he didn’t want her. He wanted you.”

            “Mija,” My mom starts. “She ran out last night, because she felt wanted. We know it sounds mean and you both are sort of in the wrong for how you each acted in the situation, but there’s no reason for you two to be fighting. You both need to apologize for the way you’ve handled yourselves today and find a way to help each other and move on.”

            “Don’t sweep it under the rug though, Adrianna.”

            “No, find a way to help each other understand your thoughts and feelings about the situation and figure out a way to be better for each other in the future. That’s what relationships are about, growing together. Whether you’re dating or married. Your father and I and George and Yolanda wouldn’t be happy today if we hadn’t learn to grow with each other as young adults.”

            “Okay, mamí. I’m going to go talk to her.” I stand up and give her a kiss before heading towards the back door. “Thank you, Mama Rivera.” I turn around and smile at the woman who has been my second mom for years. “Thanks, Nay.” She sends me her signature smirk and I can’t help but roll my eyes through a smile before walking out to the pool house.

            I hesitate for a second and take a deep breath before opening the door. The sight before me makes my breath hitch and breaks my heart. Silent tears are streaming down Mackenzie’s face while Heather rubs her back. I quietly knock on the door so as to not startle either one of them. The blondes look up, but Mackenzie quickly gets up to leave.

            “Kenz, wait.” I quickly grab her around the waist much like her sister just had to me moments before. “Heather,” I acknowledge. “Can we have a minute?”

            “Yea. I’ll just be right outside.” She picks up a sleeping Noah and heads out the door before closing the door.

            I walk over to the table where they were just sitting and wait for my girlfriend to join me. It only takes a couple seconds and she sits next to me.

            “I am so sorry, baby. For everything. For last night. For the kids. I haven’t been there for you and that’s not okay. Whatever you need, Kenzie, you can tell me and I’ll make it happen, but you can’t bottle stuff up from me.” I reach for her hand and she allows me to hold it without pulling it away. I place our hands in my lap until she looks up at me. “Talk to me, choochie.”

            “I think… I think you and the kids deserve better than m-me.” Tears start to fall down her face again and I can see tears forming in mine as well. How could she think this? “It all comes natural to you. The kids love you so much. They all learn Spanish so easily. Anya even-even wants to look like you, not like me. My parents were right, Ade, everyone was. I can’t handle a family.”

            I can see she’s getting worked up, so I move closer to the edge of my seat, making sure that I keep eye contact with her. She hasn’t used her inhaler for a while, but I don’t know if we’ll be that lucky today.

            “Kenzie, baby, don’t ever think that. Okay? Our family wouldn’t be together and happy if it wasn’t for you. You’re the patient one with the kids. I can barely handle them for a full day without wanting to pull my hair out and you had them for months while I was filming. You’re their mommy. You help me with our schedules and you are amazing around the house. You help me see the bigger picture when I have tunnel vision. I can’t function without you, Mackenzie.”

            “I-I-It’s just so hard. I try so hard and it seems like I can’t win lately. With D-Dana and with the twins and now with you. I’m… I’m…” Her breathing starts to hitch and I realize that my purse is in the main house.

            “Mackenzie, you need to calm down, baby. Breathe!” I place our hands over each other’s hearts. “I have to call for help, Kenzie.” I try and make eye contact with her, but she isn’t looking up. “Heather! Someone help!”

            Our mothers rush through the door within seconds looking panicked.

            “Kenzie’s inhaler is in my purse. It’s in the kitchen!” My mother rushes out, but Mama Rivera stays, walking further into the room. “She’s not calming down.” I whisper harshly, not upset with anyone, just the situation. Mackenzie’s breathing is becoming more and more shallow and she’s gasping for air. “Kenzie, breathe, por favor. Te necesito para respirar.”

            She finally looks up at me, her eyes wide, when my mom runs back in with the inhaler.

            “I already prepped it.” She says quickly handing the instrument to me.

            “Mommy?” A quiet voice calls from the door, the two of us looking over to see all three of our children huddled together in the doorway. “Mommy!” Conner breaks away first and rushes over to us. My mom quickly grabs him before he can get to us and the two of them usher the kids out the door. “No! Mommy! Mommy, what’s wrong?”

            “Why you crying, mommy?”

            “What’s wrong?” I quickly come to, my heart breaking at my babies’ cries, but needing to ensure that Mackenzie can breathe.

            I put the inhaler in her hand and guide it to her mouth. She pushes it down twice and tries to hold her breath, but starts to cough after just a few seconds. I practically lift her up and move us both to the couch leaning her back into my chest.

            “Breathe, baby. Slow, deep breaths. In… out… in… out.” A few minutes later, she’s more calm and lifts her inhaler back up to her mouth. Again, she squeezes it twice and is able to hold her breathe the full ten seconds before letting out a shaky exhale.

            “The kids.” She whispers hoarsely. “They don’t deserve a mother who can’t…”

            “Stop right there, Mackenzie Lynn. Those babies were just calling for you. They’re upset because you’re upset. They wanted to come in here and love you and see how to make things better. They didn’t call for me or our moms, they called for you. You’re their mommy. End of discussion.”

            It’s almost as if she snaps out of a daze. Her body shivers for a second and she’s physically lighter than she was just seconds before. She turns over on my lap and settles on top of me, her arms wrapping around my waist.

            “I’m sorry, Ade.” She looks into my eyes before resting her head on my chest, just above my heart. “I’m sorry.”

            “Just sleep for a little bit, Kenz.” I place a few light kisses in her hair. “I’ll be here when you wake up. We all will.”

            Oh, Mackenzie, what is going on in that beautiful head of yours? You are perfect for all of us just how you are, why can’t you see that? The way you create worlds for the kids with your imagination. Or toys, like your sidewalk chalk spray. Or food, like the pancake pops. You’re such an amazing mother and the kids adore you.

            And to me, baby. You’re everything. You’re my world. Without you we wouldn’t be a family. We wouldn’t be Adrienzie. I love you just as much, no even more now, than when we were teenagers. We’ve been through so much together. Why would you think you’re not wanted?

            Mackenzie Lynn Jackson… God, I can’t wait until we can make it Guerrilla-Jackson. Soon, baby, I want nothing more than to marry you, but you need to take care of yourself. We need to take care of you. Maybe we should look into going back to your therapist. You probably won’t like it, but I’m going to help you in any way I know how. I love you so much.

            A soft knock and the door opening brings me out of my thoughts and I quickly wipe the tears from my cheeks. Lilly walks further into the room and sits on the end of the couch at our feet.

            “Mamí says that you two should come and eat. The food’s getting cold.”

            “Okay, let me just get her up. How are the kids?”

            “They’re inside with Yolanda and Naya. They’re all pretty shaken up.”

            “Okay. Can you have them come back in here? I want them here when she wakes up.”

            My sister nods her head and leaves. I start rubbing Mackenzie’s back to try and ease her out of her sleep, placing kisses into her hair. She starts to stir when the door opens again.

            “Mommy!”

            “Anya Janae.” Mama Rivera warns, but it’s too late. The little girl is colliding into the couch before anyone can stop her. Followed by both her siblings.

            “Mommy?” Autumn gently kisses her cheek and the older blonde opens her eyes.

            “Hi, babies.” Her voice still hoarse from her attack.

            “Conner, mommy necesita agua, por favor.” The little man turns to run off, but Naya stops him.

            “I’ll get it. Stay here.”

            “Did you kiss yet?” Autumn asks us both.

            “No, baby, not yet.” My words putting a frown on her face. “We still have to talk about some things when you and your brother and sister take a nap this afternoon, but everything will be okay.”

            “But… but you’re mommies! You have to kiss! Beso!” Autumn pushes Mackenzie’s face towards mine, but Kenz quickly stops her by holding her wrist.

            “Autumn June, that is not nice. I know that this is hard for you right now, it’s hard for mama and I too, but you don’t demand things just because you want them. Mama and I will talk and we’ll figure everything out, but we’re fine, baby girl. Everything is going to be fine. Your mama and I still love each other and we still love you and your siblings. Okay? I promise.”

            “Okay.” Autumn says quietly and nods her head, backing away from the couch when Naya comes in with a water bottle.

            “We’ll take the kids and grab some food for them. We’ll meet you two out there?” She has a hopeful look on her face and both Mackenzie and I nod our heads. We give kisses to all the kids, before they walk out with their aunts and grandma.

            “I think I should go back into the doctor.” Mackenzie says as she sits up, slowly drinking from the bottle of water. “I really don’t want to go back onto depression medication, but I can feel myself slipping, Ade, and I promised you I would tell you when I feel myself slipping. It may have taken a couple weeks, but I’m telling you now.”

            She looks nervous and sad, but I cannot be more proud. She’s been off the medication for such a long time and barely needing to use her inhaler anymore, so I’m glad she wants to go back in.

            “I am so proud of you, baby.” I pull her into a hug and she instantly relaxes into me. “And maybe you won’t need to be on the medication. Maybe between your therapist and your inhaler, plus the kids and I and our families supporting you, we’ll figure it all out. But even if you and your doctor agree to going back on the medication, know that I will always support you and love you and still be so proud of you, because you’re taking care of yourself.”

            “Thanks, baby.” She lifts her head up and gives me a kiss. “I still want to talk to you about everything that’s been going on in my head lately, and discuss last night, and the kids, but not right now. I want to enjoy the rest of our day. Just know I’m not upset with you or anyone anymore. Okay?”

            “Okay, Kenz. We’ll talk tonight after the kids go to sleep. Bueno?”

            “Deal.”

            A couple hours later, pretty much everyone has gone home except for Carlos and Holly, Lilly, Becca, the Riveras, Mychal and Lea. The nine of us, along with my parents, are sitting at the patio table talking; Mackenzie and the kids are playing with their sideway chalk spray over by the swing set.

            “Let me guess, another one of Mackenzie’s ideas?” My mother asked nodding her head in the direction of my family.

            “Yea.” I laugh. “She finds all sorts of stuff on the internet to keep them occupied throughout the day. The sidewalk spray is one of their favorites. It’s just powdered paint and cornstarch added to water. They’ll be in the backyard for hours.”

            “So creative, that one.”

            “She came up with these ‘pancake pops’ a couple of months ago.”

            “The twins were talking about those earlier this week when you were out with Autumn.” My mother interrupts.

            “Yea, we just had them that morning. We hadn’t had them for a while before that, but they all love them.”

            “What are they?” Holly asks, taking a sip of her beer.

            “Basically, you make tiny pancakes, maybe about this size,” I make a circle by touching the tips of my index and thumb together. “and you stick lollipop sticks into them. Then the kids can dip them into whatever they want. We usually have whip cream, syrup, strawberry syrup… Kenz has even taken cookie cutters and made different designs with the pancakes.”

            “Have you gotten any creative ideas for the kids?”

            “No, it’s not my area of expertise.” I receive a lot of confused looks at my response. “What I mean is that, I am not an on-the-spot mom. If the kids are all going crazy, I can’t just jump up and suggest something and it work. Kenzie can. She knows all the tips and tricks. Years ago when the kids were younger, I couldn’t even handle them a few hours without Mackenzie.”

            “You’re kidding!” George questions me and I laugh with a shake of my head.

            “No, I’m serious. She is the one that came up with their schedules. The one who suggested adding in academics at such an early age and focusing on their speech so early. They do their notebooks for an hour every day without fail. She limits electronics. I don’t mind all these things, but I’m definitely the parent that would buy them all iPads if we agreed on them.”

            “You better not!” Mackenzie jokes, plopping herself into my lap and wrapping her arms around my neck. She gives me a quick peck before asking, “Why do you think you are buying the babies iPads?”

            “I’m not, baby, promise. I was just telling them all how we focus on different areas of expertise.”

            “Oh! Yea, Ade has a hard time with the kids. Not that she’s a bad mom, we just parent differently. I like to keep them busy, but I have a hard time with discipline, I think because of the Jacksons. Whereas Ade likes the more physical things with the kids. Field trips, the park, things like that and she’s better at discipline.”

            “We realized a couple years ago, after we moved in together, that Mackenzie loved looking stuff up and reading about parenting and the new and best things for kids to learn and grow and stay healthy…”

            “Especially after we found out about Anya’s anemia.”

            “Yea, and I like looking stuff up about our relationship and finances and things like that. It’s just a balance we have and we teach the other one things at their own pace. I know that I can’t just throw numbers about our budget at Mackenzie at the end of the day after dealing with the kids all day. I have to show her everything in the morning.”

            “And I know that Ade doesn’t like to get messy, so anything I make with the kids has to be premade before Ade will touch it. She won’t do the prep work, but she’ll still be there for our kids to make those memories; which is the important part.”

            “So, if you’re the relationship expert between the two of you, then how did last night happen?” Mama Rivera questions me and I hide my face in Mackenzie shoulder.

            “Everyone makes mistakes, mama.” Kenzie defends. “I’m not always the best mom, I sometimes push the kids too hard with their speech or their notebooks and Ade has to remind me that they’re only three and four years old. Last night was just crazy all over, but we’re talking about it later tonight between the two of us.”

            It’s almost eleven o’clock by the time Mackenzie and I finish our nightly routine and are able to get into bed, but as I’m about to get into bed, my girlfriend brings me over to the loveseat across the room. Instead of cuddling up though, she sits crisscross-applesauce and motions for me to follow her.

            After I’m situated, she says it, “Bible.”

            I’ll admit that it really bothered me at first that she said this small phrase from the Kardashians, only because I never understood the point of it. I thought she was just saying it because it was getting popular, but then she explained it to me. ‘Bible’ is basically saying, ‘I swear to God’ or ‘No lie.’ So, I guess it kind of became our word to use in our relationship.

            I read about this practice in a relationship book a couple years ago, that whenever you and your partner need to have a serious conversation or need to talk about something without lying, you say this word or phrase and the other person knows something is up. We rarely ever use it anymore, not since we first moved in together and a little bit after she told me about Dana.

            “Bible.” I nod. “Do you want to go first or me?”

            “I’ll go first, because I think I have more to say.” I let her gather her thoughts in silence and wait for her to speak. “I guess I started feeling myself slip when you were filming. It was so hard to be apart from you and the kids took it really hard and I think I put it on myself that I wasn’t being good enough for them. I understand now that obviously they missed you because you’re a vital part in their lives, in all our lives, you’re their mama, but I think at the time I was so nervous and scared, that I put myself down about it.

            “Then there were little comments made by the kids or our families that I wasn’t what they wanted. Anya didn’t want to look like me. Mama said that I was being too uptight with the kids while you were gone. Conner didn’t want me. It all was adding up.

            “Last night, I wanted to show you how much of a good girlfriend I was, because you took me on that amazing date last week. All day yesterday, I tried to show you that I could return the favor. I cleaned the house while you were in your office, I kept the kids entertained and quiet while you were making calls, I made your favorite meal for dinner, and it was like you didn’t even realize it. You just passively said ‘thanks for dinner’ and it broke my heart.

            “So then I wanted to give you the best orgasm of your life. Show you that no one else can treat you like I do and you finished yourself. I’m not lying, Ade, I saw red. After everything I did yesterday and you told me I was being ridiculous, because in the end you got off and that’s what mattered. Not that I made love to you for two hours. Not that I gave you that orgasm. No, just that you got off and you were totally content with just rolling over and going to sleep.

            “No, I wasn’t looking for anything in return last night, but the fact that you called me ridiculous really hurt. I forgive you and I am not upset with you or anyone anymore, but I want you to know that my feelings were hurt and I felt totally taken advantage of. Okay, you can go now, because I can see in your face that you’re dying to talk.”

            “I am,” I rush. “but only if you’re done, Kenzie. I want you to say everything on your mind.”

            “I am done, Ade. Say what you want. I’m listening.”

            “I am so sorry, Kenz. I didn’t mean for you to feel that way at all for the last month and it breaks my heart that you have kept it to yourself for that long. You should have called ‘Bible’ when it first started happening, but it’s done now and we’ll move forward together.

            “As for the kids, I do think that things will start getting better as long as we work with them together. I think that for the last couple months while I was filming they saw you as their only parent. You had to be the comforter, the disciplinarian, the hero, and maid for them and they probably didn’t completely understand that I was coming home and staying home. Maybe it was partially our fault, because they think I’m going to up and leave again and they’re clinging. I’m not sure, but we’ll talk to them.

            “I also think that I should start helping out with them and the house more during the day now that I’m back home. I’ve kind of been stuck in my office during the day even though I told you I would help out and that’s not fair, so I want to limit my time in the office to maybe when the kids are napping or just two hours a day. Other than that, I might be on my phone, but I won’t be taking calls.

            “As for last night, I cannot say I’m sorry enough. I did not mean to hurt you, baby. I promise. I was so tired and so worked up and you just left and I was in a selfish moment, but it will never happen again and if it ever does, you have all rights to kick me to the guest room.” I cross my heart and put up the scout’s honor sign with my fingers and she gives the most adorable giggle. The tension in the room has completely lifted and we can finally start planning the next moves ahead.

            “So, I’m going to go back to my therapist, you’ll be okay with the twins during the day while Autumn is at school?”

            “Yea, it’s only a couple hours, so we’ll be fine. And I want to start helping out around here more. I mean it. So, anything that you need done, any ‘honey-do’ list that needs completing, it will get done.”

            She lunges over on top of me giving me the biggest hug before connecting our lips. While I want to take it further, that’s not how we fix things we deal with. We don’t just push things under the rug by having sex. We discuss our thoughts, plan our next moves, cuddle and watch a couple nostalgic movies… and then have amazing make-up sex.

            The smaller woman lays onto my chest and wraps her arms around my waist, much in the way that we were laying in the pool house earlier. We lay in silence for a couple minutes, able to hear all the kids’ steady breathing through the monitors.

            “This is perfect. Right now in this moment.”

            “I totally agree, baby.”

            “Ade?” Mackenzie whispers. I can feel her body getting heavier and my eyes can barely stay open.

            “Yea, Kenz?”

            “I never want to fight with anyone else.”

            “Me either, Kenz, you’re it for me.” I hear her breathing start to even out, but I know we can’t sleep on this tiny couch. “Baby, let’s go to bed.”

            We slowly make our way back to bed and I turn the light off before turning over and pulling her back into me.

            “I love you, Adrianna Isabella Guerrilla.” She is barely whispering, but I can faintly make it out over the kids’ breathing.

            “I love you too, Mackenzie Lynn Guerr-… Jackson.” I catch my slip, but the blonde in my arms is already asleep. Her whole body relaxed in my arms. While I’m slightly grateful she didn’t catch it, I wonder what she would have said if she did? “Te amo también, mi amor.”

Author's Note

Honestly, I'm in such a slump with this story and I haven't been able to write in it for about two years, but it's a goal of mine to finish, because it's the first thing I've ever written. Any constructive reviews could help or anything that would be cool to write about in future chapters. Thanks!