My Love DrugA Poem by Brooke AlexandriaI feel schizophrenic.
I’m all over the place. One
minute I’m super annoyed with you and the next minute I can’t get enough of
you. You are my drug.
I drink you in. Even when you are
annoying and bad for me, I want more of you.
I can’t get enough of you. I’m
addicted to you, to how you make me feel.
When I take you all in, I get high"highly in love with you. But I’m afraid to overdose for fear of being dependent
on you. I can’t let you take over my
whole body, my whole being. I must only
take you in moderation so to not totally give myself over to you. So as soon as I feel myself slipping into dependence, I
pull back. I try to wing myself off of
you. Try to handle things by myself. Try
to find love, satisfaction, joy from myself.
I withdraw from you, which pushes me into"withdraw. The absence of you makes me low"lowering my
desire to love. I become mean, angry, bitter"my heart closes and
hardena to keep out the vulnerability, to keep out the dependency. But being in this state is lonely…and
miserable. So I begin to open up my heart again. And on and on it goes. I’m high then low, up then down, afraid then
lonely. I don’t know how to even out my temperament. I don’t know how to live a balanced life in a
state of calm. It’s like I get a rush
from the randomness. I enjoy the
adventure. I depend on the drama…. Maybe that’s my bigger drug"drama. Maybe I need it to thrive, need it to
function. Maybe I need drama to make my
life a bit less mundane. Sometimes
relationships just go through the moments, maybe I create drama and seem all over
the place because I crave the noise, crave the obstacles. My relationship is up then down, up then down"is it my
fault?... © 2011 Brooke AlexandriaReviews
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2 Reviews Added on August 27, 2011 Last Updated on August 27, 2011 AuthorBrooke AlexandriaCincinnati, OHAboutA natural writer, Brooke Alexandria studied journalism at Ohio University in Athens, Ohio, but it was her passion for helping others that prompted her to share her writings with the public. Brooke Ale.. more..Writing
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