May Two Be Stitched Anew

May Two Be Stitched Anew

A Poem by Asante.

Heartache afloat
waves that don't seem to resolve,
interlaced with fallen dreams
soon to sink below the feet,
seeking ocean floor
as time was wasted
in wishing on stars,
waste of ticking clock,
waste of sandy hourglass again,
nurturing myself,
nestled in the wings of water,
makeshift ocean cradle,
please don't shake my grave!
leave yesterday dead.

Earned my way into Valhalla,
at least in the head,
sewn together every bullet hole
that evaded the vest,
caved-in chest and all
but forfeited feeling..

Inching into day,
I regained the footing
to flee Hell on earth,
finding light, forgetting you forever,
left the volume to lower itself
to where I'm deaf to you,
may your best remains
be swallowed whole
by your rampant within;
may your coming ruins
teach you to treasure
what's adequate;
such beautiful flesh,
hideous beneath the skeleton.

© 2016 Asante.



Author's Note

Asante.
The way we slip through each other's fingers, we are toys to one another.

My Review

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Featured Review

"may your coming ruins

teach you to treasure

what's adequate;"

I find these lines to be very intriguing and so matter of fact, to the point. This piece rings of self encouragement in the face of losing something that was once a treasure. This is not an easy thing to do though you have described it well and if this is fact, I wish the grandest of hope it works.

Posted 2 Months Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Asante.

2 Months Ago

Wonderfully worded comments, here.

Thanks a lot for stopping by. I appreciate you hav.. read more
A hare off

2 Months Ago

My pleasure



Reviews

"Heartache afloat
waves that don't seem to resolve"
I love these lines.

Somehow, this piece gives me the impression that you mixed poetry with some bits of mythology as seen in "Valhalla" and "to flee Hell on Earth" with the passing of time : "as time was wasted
in wishing on stars,
waste of ticking clock,
waste of sandy hourglass again,"

Quite an interesting read, that I believe can be understood from various point of view, not just one.

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Asante.

2 Weeks Ago

You nailed it, although I'll be honest in saying that this piece was more stream-of-consciousness th.. read more
Great piece Sante... The metaphors for a person, I think, a love that was not what she should have been.. who returns again and again to stir unrest.. is profound here. Talented work...
..Misty

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Asante.

1 Month Ago

Bless you, Misty. Thanks a lot for giving this a read; I'm glad you took from it what you did.
M. L. F.

1 Month Ago

It says a lot. No thanks needed, reading quality work is a joy, not a chore Sante.... :)
... read more
'Earned my way into Valhalla'...poetic!
Your writing review is incredibly refreshing, so many lines that are so so good! What an elegant exit if I may say so I'm a great fan of detoxing. Starz

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Asante.

2 Months Ago

I love the word you used: Detoxing. That's exactly what this was over time, even if it didn't comple.. read more
Starzy

1 Month Ago

'Writing review'...sorry that happens when I'm on my phone damn thing is a 'know it all' haha.
"may your coming ruins

teach you to treasure

what's adequate;"

I find these lines to be very intriguing and so matter of fact, to the point. This piece rings of self encouragement in the face of losing something that was once a treasure. This is not an easy thing to do though you have described it well and if this is fact, I wish the grandest of hope it works.

Posted 2 Months Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Asante.

2 Months Ago

Wonderfully worded comments, here.

Thanks a lot for stopping by. I appreciate you hav.. read more
A hare off

2 Months Ago

My pleasure
That's one heck of a way to say goodbye.
I really liked this Sante. The self awareness is so important, not just in being a good lover, friend, partner but also in knowing what poisons you, and avoiding. Preserving thy self...

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Asante.

3 Months Ago

Always appreciate your words, Ana.
It's the truth. Cleanse the poison and allow cleaner water.. read more
Very deep poem that starts sad and emotional and ends somewhat vengeful. The comparisons were well built and fit well in the whole scenery. I specially liked the imagery you used about time on the first part of the poem. Nice piece of writing, I overall enjoyed it very much.

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Asante.

3 Months Ago

Thank you, Elizabeth. I'm glad you stopped in and enjoyed this.
A very touching piece. Really an amazing expression of the suffering that accompanies love and infatuation. Very well written!

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Asante.

3 Months Ago

Thank you, Riley!
'so damn hideous beneath the skeleton..'

Love this line!
Keep on writing!!


Posted 4 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Again, such great wording. I love the Valhalla expression and also the last line, the skeleton image reads relatable to me, reminds me of my own way of thinking and writing.

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Asante.

5 Months Ago

I'm glad you could find that particular line in common with your own work. Lines like those, written.. read more
Βανέσα

5 Months Ago

They do. You're welcome.
I really liked this poem. It is so very deep and emotional! : )

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Asante.

5 Months Ago

Thank you very much, Akshita. :)

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857 Views
21 Reviews
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Added on August 13, 2016
Last Updated on September 24, 2016
Tags: love, broken, time, light, forgiveness, poetry

Author

Asante.
Asante.

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Pen your truth. More life. 360° "I'm inspired by that which doesn't exist." - Pharrell https://twitter.com/BrownInk_ more..

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A Poem by Asante.



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