That Permanent Ache

Feeling insecure when thinking of past memories.

 

 

She pushes, pushes, pushes
Hard against internal wishes
To see how far words will stretch
Across a room with intention of uncovering truth,
Or a sorry to soothe, where hands cannot heal
That permanent ache

     Sometimes
Love she decides
Is simply a trap, a vice
That can squeeze, bleed
The sane to become insane
          A game
She perceives, assumes
Not too self assured by others greed
Scorn, forlorn, gathering all the hurt
Until she feels she might explode
          Be lost

Circling footsteps around her own prison
Where someone took down the bright pictures
Replaced with black thoughts, swirling
Inside, splitting a life
          Dividing
While floodgates open yawning
All that dark turmoil spoiling
To ruin time
New beginnings.

     Sometimes
She pushes, pushes, pushes
Rather than have him leave her behind
She tries to keep quiet
Sidestep ghosts when they lie side by side
Tucked within his love
Warmth of his breath close by.

She believes in his love
Oh she does
As the ring shines in the dark,
But perhaps in the passing months
She stopped believing in herself
Just a touch.

Reviews

[Helen Woodward]

Brilliant!! The last line says it all really because once you stop believing in yourself you give in to anything and everything. It's a trap of the most vicious kind that leaves you feeling like a fool. You give your entire being to someone and they are like a cat playing with a mouse! You have summed up mistrust and deviation of truth along with lack of self-esteem perfectly Deni. There is no answer because you either love someone or not and unfortunately if that someone is a rogue toying with your emotions you become a slave, too filled with fear of loss to let go...
Great piece xxx

[The Archangel Gabriel]

Another great write. I am sorry that I don't have much energy to review. I want to come back to these two, anyways.

-Gabe

[SassySays]

Any time we love ...we give a part of ourselves away...a part that we cant ever re-claim..until that love has expired....this was painfully true...and beautifully done.....hey .....get out of my head!...lol...

I loved it...I find myself coming back to your page looking for poems to read while Im at work...

well done - Sharon

[Jane Doe]

I'm drawn into her world. Though its dark and sad, I appreciate the experience. Thank you.

[rumpulpulsky]

To believe in something you believe is a trap. So painful a conflict, no wonder it leads to insanity. A superb poem.

[Rhonda]

I'm speechless. This is amazing. I read it over and over.

Great job. The images are clear, and the emotions are real.

Thank you.

-Rhonda

[Sensual Lilac]

This piece hit a chord with me...reminders of my own prison.

Expressed in ways I wouldn't be able to..thank you

[Jack Yatsko]

I could feel chills when I read this one. This one had a little haunting touch to it. Brava! ^_^

[O!]

this hit a chord! sigh.........the end is so true to so many women who lose themselves in the process of betrayal and hurt.....

Thank you for writing this.

x,
O!

[Kit]

a really different structured poem than im used to. but i really liked it. its a powerful bit of writing, brilliant wording. you make it sound so peacful but of course its tragic and the situation is always cruel. it makes me think of the fact that no matter how much you love someone, there is always that distrust that you cant seem to shake.

[[untitled]]

You've got some powerful thoughts well expressed here. The poem flows easily, smoothly, linking your thoughts fairly effortlessly.

I enjoyed the use of the italics, well-placed throughout the piece. Your use of internal line rhymes and poignant turns of phrases really enhanced the piece for me.

Great work!