That Permanent Ache

Feeling insecure when thinking of past memories.

 

 

She pushes, pushes, pushes
Hard against internal wishes
To see how far words will stretch
Across a room with intention of uncovering truth,
Or a sorry to soothe, where hands cannot heal
That permanent ache

     Sometimes
Love she decides
Is simply a trap, a vice
That can squeeze, bleed
The sane to become insane
          A game
She perceives, assumes
Not too self assured by others greed
Scorn, forlorn, gathering all the hurt
Until she feels she might explode
          Be lost

Circling footsteps around her own prison
Where someone took down the bright pictures
Replaced with black thoughts, swirling
Inside, splitting a life
          Dividing
While floodgates open yawning
All that dark turmoil spoiling
To ruin time
New beginnings.

     Sometimes
She pushes, pushes, pushes
Rather than have him leave her behind
She tries to keep quiet
Sidestep ghosts when they lie side by side
Tucked within his love
Warmth of his breath close by.

She believes in his love
Oh she does
As the ring shines in the dark,
But perhaps in the passing months
She stopped believing in herself
Just a touch.

Reviews

[Helen Woodward]

Brilliant!! The last line says it all really because once you stop believing in yourself you give in to anything and everything. It's a trap of the most vicious kind that leaves you feeling like a fool. You give your entire being to someone and they are like a cat playing with a mouse! You have summed up mistrust and deviation of truth along with lack of self-esteem perfectly Deni. There is no answer because you either love someone or not and unfortunately if that someone is a rogue toying with your emotions you become a slave, too filled with fear of loss to let go...
Great piece xxx

[Marquise]

wow.. this is too powerful for words to explain, and that last line really does close it soooo perfectly, you could have not written this any better and its mos def from your heart.. you are a great writer my friend.. indeed...

[Darryl Salach]

there are some powerful lines in this piece....Circling footsteps around her own prison
Where someone took down the bright pictures
Replaced with black thoughts, swirling
Inside, splitting a life
Dividing
While floodgates open yawning
All that dark turmoil spoiling
To ruin time
New beginnings.

this stanza was very well written in my humble opinion....well done!!

[Jenny Davis]

It's terrible that sometimes a woman has to lose part of herself for love...but in my opinion it shouldn't have to be that way...your words were sooo powerful and well crafted....wow :)

[Erotic Goddess]

Circling footsteps around her own prison
Where someone took down the bright pictures
Replaced with black thoughts, swirling
Inside, splitting a life

Oh, Deni this is superb. I love your writing, I am sorry I have not read as much as I could, been busy, but I have missed much. This is beautiful and sad at the same time. I agree with ms Helen and her review. You have summed it up very eloquently and it says so much to those who sit down and take the time to read it.

xxoxx

[Goddess Sophia (filomen..]

climatic!!! to the very end....
loosing sight of oneself ...is a sorry thing...
and still it happens...
you paint the simplicity of letting it happen.
beautifully written..

[Lea Jane]

I love this poem! It's absolutely beautiful, and it flows nicely. I looved the ending, great work =] ~Leia

[C. Harter Amos]

This is just beautifully written - very peaceful, but the sense is that it's the peace of hopelessness or giving up, sealed with the final lines "But perhaps in the passing months, She stopped believing in herself, Just a touch". So very poignant and sad, but an excellent write as always. - Mimi.

[Nathan Thompson]

A poem that shows how low self-esteem can ultimately harm you. Keep writing bubo, you remind us all, about stuff like that, that should never be forgotten

[Kerri Gates]

Hello, beautiful work. Long time no talk.

[Julian]

Deep contemplation often oozes from your writing and this is no exception. You take us on fascinating journeys and give us interesting insights and provoke thought. Really enjoyed reading this piece as i also enjoyed your internal rhymes. Julian :)