Carry You

 

 

 

Ask me why

I weave tender threads through
Saturated heart that hastens to death

I can do nothing but

C    Y
A  R
R
you

Across expanse of continents
Over heaven mountain peaks
Above barren deserts baked
Through oceans of healing
As dancing sky weeps.

I can do nothing but

C    Y
A  R
R
you

Lay you upon fields at Ashburton
Where trees smitten will bend
In lovers summer breeze
Of red august month,
Doves gather to dress naked skin,
Earth is yieldingly silent
Permitting dreamless sleep
I guard you while you heal.

I can do nothing but

C    Y
A  R
R
you

As you bleed into my skin
Blend into loving back,
Choked with weight as
We dance, dance, dance,
Balanced precariously on
Edge of words tipping of pages,
Spilling from tongues of angels
As you close tearful green eyes,
I can carry you so far
The rest lies between you and God.

I can do nothing but

C    Y
A  R
R
you

As we hasten to that end.

Reviews

[Blue Bard]

The experimental structure is easy on the eyes, but the meat of this poem is in its classic nature. It has lots of elements of Romantic poetry, yet the language does not slip into thees and thous. It is unpretentiously pretty and has a streak of pride down its back for always being the strong one. Another good one Bubo.

[Kimberly Rae]

so true. so very true. if i'm correctly guessing about the subject - then - i LOVE your love for your girls. so unadulterated and beautiful, just as a mother's love should be.

[Taja B.]

This is a great poem. It's well written, it's very descriptive and the format of this poem is brilliant! Great job!

[Blackbirdsong]

Amazing work here. Right from the first line:

Ask me why

I weave tender threads through
Saturated heart that hastens to death

I can do nothing but


You carry through this poem, taking us on the journey of this relationship. I see a mother and child going through everything together, but she feels no burden. In fact there is great joy here:

We dance, dance, dance,
Balanced precariously on
Edge of words tipping of pages,
Spilling from tongues of angels

There is so much richly drawn evocative moments in this piece. This definitely one of your best.

[Jen.ledda]

mmm. this one makes me say mmmm.
i didn't think i was going to like the positioning of the carry you words to the left, but by the second stanza you grabbed me in to accept and understand the package of those words. well done. this poem speaks to me on many levels. thank you!

[Kevin Reader]

Lovely artistic flow. After a while, I felt like the line

c y
a r
r
you

started to look and feel like a bag feels. like you packed all of your emtions and struggles into this bag, and were forced to carry it around with you wherever you went.

the structure lends itself to the words in a very unique and mind challenging way.

thanks for sharing as always!

[Marie]

Nice. Good job.

[Tawny O'hara]

what is the CYARR You? Sorry forgive my ignorance.
Otherwise, besides not being able to figure out the middles, it was soft and nice not unlike a feather bed of poetry.

[Sianna Reader]

Aww, it was a soft and beautiful poem and wrote with true expression amd meaning. xxxxxxxx Thank you for imagining it. xxxx

[Benarsi]

Beautiful imagery and flow...your words are so expressive, so incredibly intense that I feel as if I'm actually there, watching, and I wish that this poem never finished, so I could go on reading forever...:)

B.

[Patrica Alvarez]

One of my good friends once told me that you should feel proud to be able to love someone like that. I really like this part "As you bleed into my skin
Blend into loving back,
Choked with weight as
We dance, dance, dance,
Balanced precariously on
Edge of words tipping of pages,
Spilling from tongues of angels
As you close tearful green eyes,
I can carry you so far
The rest lies between you and God. "
I can tellyou really pour your heart and soul into your writing. It's interesting to look inside you psychee.