TREAT ME LIKE AN ELEMENT

TREAT ME LIKE AN ELEMENT

A Poem by CAPOLAVORO
"

It is for you to find out. Play with your mind. Do not be an easy thinker.

"
Treat me like the Earth
Keep stepping on my worth
Dig into my own wealth
Plant poisons do it stealth

Treat me like the Water
Satisfy your body in my honor
Quench the thirst of your desire
When your satisfied call me Sire

Treat me like the Fire
In my presence you shall admire
It's okay to be a liar
Play with me outside the wire

Treat me like the Air
After the heat the breeze will share
Breathing bodies in despair
Winds of love can now prepare

Treat me like the Ether
Sweet smelling reliever
Bloodless way of leisure
A liquid that can still put us in danger. 



© 2017 CAPOLAVORO



Author's Note

CAPOLAVORO
Still playing with words. Hoping for reviews maybe. I am still new at this one.

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Reviews

Treat me like Thunder
Bristle bright through my soul
which once sparked under
The gallant lighting roll

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


Hey I like this piece. thanks for sharing your nice talent.

Posted 1 Month Ago


well you are playing with words very well,loved this one,,and the ending left open for another time

Posted 1 Month Ago


I love this. You are a wonderful writer

Posted 1 Month Ago


Simply creative, and you're still new at this one? Amazing! You're really an artist. :) I love the concept and the title, too. So catchy. Keep writing!

Posted 2 Months Ago


A great idea using the 5 elements. It seems that you have chosen to write a poem with rhyme and metre (number of beats). The rhymes work but the metre is not quite right. Working to a rigid formula is tough but you have to keep the sense. For example your first verse might be better with, 'dig into my wealth'
It's worth working on.
Alan


Posted 2 Months Ago


please forgive me for my delayed visit *s* upon your
ink. i'm glad i have finally come across this gem!

all i can say is that this is truly a mesmerizing write...i adore your unique, captivating take upon creating humanistic characteristics, upon the otherwise ethereal, elusive "elements"

beautifully penned with elegance & passion. enjoy the lyrical fluidity as well.

thank you so much for sharing
-xx-


Posted 3 Months Ago


ether can be bad for your health lol, i liked the elements scenario of treat me like an element and this is what you get. an interesting read.

Posted 3 Months Ago


Like the wrath feel to this poem. Maybe scope for harsher lines. Though that might be me.
Treat me like death.
Strip me bare.
Without a care.
Treat me.

Posted 4 Months Ago


I love that you used one of the main elements for each stanza . . . nice composition overall, especially with the whimsical "Treat me like . . . " which is fresh & original. I also like your extended rhymes thru-out each stanza, but in a couple places the rhyme choice feels a little simplistic . . . could reach for a few more complex rhymes to enhance your meaning a bit. All in all, nicely creative & thought-provoking.

Posted 4 Months Ago



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978 Views
46 Reviews
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Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on February 19, 2017
Last Updated on March 5, 2017
Tags: #emotion, #feelings, #love

Author

CAPOLAVORO
CAPOLAVORO

Cebu, 7, Philippines



About
My life is average. My heart is average. My pulse is average. My mind is average. You might think I am an average girl then? My hopes are supreme My dreams are extreme My writes are creativ.. more..

Writing
TIME TIME

A Poem by CAPOLAVORO



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