No Affect on Me

Seeing you again
had no affect on me
no, not at all...
My heart was only
Whirring,
Turning,
Churning
at the sight of you
my head was only
Whirling,
Swirling,
Twirling
at the sound of you
My skin was only
Squirming,
Yearning,
Burning
for a touch from you
... seeing you again
had no affect on me
no,not at all.

Reviews

[RareRed]

I like this....I like the conflict contained within..........wanting to be able to say "You have no affect" and yet your heart, head and skin all tell you different. You almost want to smile while reading this because you know the feeling, we've all been there.

[Frances O'Neill]

I like the way this is very tersely drawn together. I like the way no other words can say it better. It makes me laugh and I especially like the ending.

[Yvonne Heidt]

Carrie I loved this one! "I ain't missing you at all!" John Waite...

Excellent job -

[Yu Yu]

Nice. I loved the twist. It's like the conflict that you have between your head and your heart. Sometimes it's hard to demonstrate the internal conflict but you pulled it off nicely. The opposing forces. I'm also a big fan of repetitions -- very well done.

[musegirlsm]

I love this poem. It is so true how we sometimes say we don't care but our body betrays us. I love the style and flow in this poem as well as your use of (Assonance?), it broke it up then linked it back.


Great Work!

sandra