bye bye Daddy

Not true...I Added and fixed

"Bye, Daddy! I love you!" I said as we left his work. The day was beautiful. Sunny no sign of rain, just to be a nice calm day

"We will go home first then at 10:00 am leave. To do our stops okay Missy?" My mom asked me

"Sure but that means I can't sleep I have school work to do!" I answered rudely when we got home time flew. We left at 10:00 am and went to the Honey Brook Post office. When we came out of there we were in the car sitting at the light and we saw daddy in his Rover buss to the left by the bank and he was right at the white line. A tractor trailer came flying around the turn. That tractor trailer had been drinking. Hit my daddy there was another tractor trailer behind my daddy's Rover buss and the driver rammed into my daddy. I screamed so loud and ran out of the car. With my cell I called the cops.

"I am sorry. He is dead." said the paramedics

"No!" I screamed

"Yes. Him and fourteen other people were dead; because of frank who was alive!" my mother said with tears running down her face. I told frank

"When you get out expect to be in court! You killed an innocent man, and fourteen other people too. People that were walking, people who are sort-of retarded, and even elderly people. That's not the point. The point is I hate you!" When frank got out of the hospital 8 months later. We gave him some time with his family. Than after a few weeks to a month we took him to court. He was demanded to"give us" fifteen mil, or go to jail. Frank did not have that kind of money. So the cops came barging in, hand cuffed frank. I could see in Franks eyes that he was sorry. I did not want to see the guy in jail. That night we went and visited Frank in jail. He never thought that we cared. When he saw us he was speechless; also up set. His wife just told him she filed for a divorce. When he found out that we bailed him out also made him mad. Because now he had to find a place to pay for, also go back to his kids and tell his kids he loved them but could not see them. When he saw me, he hugged me, and said

“I am sorry.” I answered

“I know I can see it in your eyes. I could see the sorrow from the point you flew passed the curb till now. Frank, I understand it is hard tho. I never got along with my daddy. I guess I should of. Because I miss him. I will always miss him. I will miss him and I camping. I will miss him calling me moo, and calling me out from my room just to ask 'how far would you have been if I didn't call you out?'” I had to stop because my eyes filled up with tears. “an-and him flicking my ears while we are out at dinner. Frank I guess the truth is I will always love my Daddy. I will never forget my loving and caring Daddy. All of the times, and things we did. I love my Daddy!” I Finished saying what I wanted to and fell to the ground. I have always been a Daddy's girl, he was my softball coach. My shoulder to cry on when I hurt my self, this is gonna be different with just mommy, she needs to get a job now. Im only 13 I can't.

Author's Note

This isn't true, its just how I'd feel about daddy dying.

Reviews

[Luna]

A few grammatical errors but other than that, it's a sad story. Nice work.

[The Scanners See Sound]

I understand this is supposed to be portrayed from the POV of a child, but in its attempt for authenticity (and I use the term loosely, considering the story has a line '"Yup he's dead." said the paramedics'), it reads as if it was written by a child; which is not really a good thing.

The point was concise, but the presentation was so haphazard and disorganized *in a way that made it seem a result of poor writing, rather than a plot device* that this makes for frankly a terrible read.

[Sexy P3nguin]

This is truly sad. I really feel the pain of losing a lost one. The emotions portrayed are, portrayed very well. I can feel your sadness and your anger to the person. Thanks for entering and good luck .=]

[Sharkapillar]

You need to fix some spelling, some indenting, some punctuation, and flesh it out a bit more. But I get the jist of it, and damn, girl, niceness!
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