Unfaithful

I never thought you'd maim me.
I never thought you'd lie.
Yet my heart never felt such pain
As on the day you let us die.
The day you let
Desire
Murder Decency...

Author's Note

...

Reviews

[Tai Ryens]

Partaking in the pleasures of lust rather than love, the physical over the spiritual, and the skin but not the heart . . . and your expectation of her to do the latter makes it all the more worse to the stature of your own emotions. Well done, you've written a poignant and powerful piece.

[Tai Ryens]

Reviewing this a second time, I've received more details than what I have prior . . . She pursued a lust rather than someone who cared for her properly, and mended her, only to watch her make the mistake with absolute certainty that it's the right choice . . .

[Caradoc]

Sorry it's taken me this long to get back to you on this. I guess I got distracted and somehow missed these two reviews from you. Thanks so much.

Writing this was definitely painful; a small sliver of catharsis to overcome its inspiration. It's always the one you'd least expected, the closest to your heart that tears it from your chest only to leave you staring blankly up at them as they walk away. And you can only ask "why?"

And the answers are never enough to truly understand the reasons you're made to suffer.

[Tai Ryens]

I usually refrain from trying to understand, but I do agree; the reasons given by someone else from which we suffer are often insufficient and the suffering feels unjustified. Due to this, I tell myself that we are not meant to feel such despair and succumb only to circumstance (although the sentiments very rarely comfort me in a twist of irony).

[Belle]

OMG! I don't know exactly what to say. This is so powerful! It stabs like a dagger...

[Caradoc]

Yea. A dagger. That sounds about right. Oh well...time passes and the wound heals. I stitched the heart together as best I could, since a suitable replacement could not be acquired.

Over dramatic, I know. But what's life if not drama?

[Belle]

" time passes and the wound heals. "...this just reminded me of your poem about the sand being consumed by the waves, that one is another favorite from you. Time consumes and evidently it also heals some wounds...and I think you are not being over dramatic. Love, betrayal, hate are universal facts that we can never escape. We all share the same language when it comes to these truths whatever our social status are and/or whatever kind of thinking we may have...

[Anita Singh]

The day you let us die. Such a deep meaning!

[Caradoc]

Indeed. Thank you for reading and reviewing.

[HeazerH]

This is a striking piece of writing.

[Caradoc]

Thank you for reading and reviewing.

[HeazerH]

Thank you for sharing this piece.

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Another sad little piece of heartbreak.
Filled with depth and emotion and such a deep sadness.
Hopfully one day your poems will be full of joy :)

[Caradoc]

Thank you for your kind words. I really do hope more than just my poetry is full of joy.

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

yer i hope so to :) and your welcome :))

[Horizon K.]

This gave me chills... made it thick, and hard to breathe... so few lines, so much weight.

[Caradoc]

That's how I felt when I found out.

[Horizon K.]

I'm so sorry then, that this is true...

[Caradoc]

It's been nearly three weeks and I still feel...

[Glen Yumang Manese]

Unfaithful ---yet this write gives more details...
In a relatively short narrative...
the impact is there and the words...
just reflect a moment in time...
one can relate and cue in...

[Caradoc]

Indeed. Thanks for stopping by.

[Glen Yumang Manese]

you're welcome...good to read you...

[Lyn Anderson]

Of course I picked this one. Unfaithfulness and treachery can take many forms in a relationship. It hurts to be lied to. It hurts to be used and betrayed. Beautifully expressed in this piece.

[Caradoc]

All you said is true. I'd always known such things would hurt, but I never knew how badly, until recently.

Again, thank you for reading and reviewing.

[Sir Joe]

This is such a concise and powerful poem. The first four lines are very simple and superficial, yet the succeeding lines added intensity, force, poesy, and artistry to the whole piece.

I must say you did a great job in conveying the message "you gave me so much pain because of your unfaithfulness" in a poetical manner. That could have been just a simple utterance of pain if some literary devices were not used.

That just proves how useful poetic elements and figures of speech are in writing a poem. I say that the rhyming of the second and fourth lines and the personification you employed in the last part added appeal and poesy to the poem.

The theme that I was able to draw from this piece, with the help of the title, is that unfaithfulness to your partner does not only kill the relationship but also tarnishes your reputation.

I'm glad to have come by. Thank you for the powerful read.

[Caradoc]

Thank you very much for this wonderful and in depth review.

[Leighton]

Euuu I enjoyed it, direct and powerful.

[Caradoc]

I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for reading and reviewing.