Lost by pain

Lost by pain

A Poem by Carl Drake Barnard



Lost you to screams

and yes I still dream.

Giving birth to one

so fragile and sweet.

 

I remember the times

you always dreamed.

With spoken words like:

"oh how I wish you could see"

 

Wander where he was

when you gave birth.

All alone on this place

called earth.

 

You held on tight screaming

towards the brightest light.

I looked at you and feared

Only to notice your painful tears.

 

You held my arm now

and forced the pain.

To my excite she appeared

with the room filled with tears

 

You smiled broadly, then I noticed

your hold on me was gone.

I quickly looked and saw

how your head went down.

 

I held your hand in both of mine

You simply smiled and said:

It will all be fine.

your hand slowly slipped out of mine

 

This can't be right,

something is wrong!!

No one noticed

and now you're gone.


© 2014 Carl Drake Barnard



My Review

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Featured Review

Carl, you are brilliant, you do know that right? I think you don't.

You are a bestie a sweetheart, and here you prove your soul is caring, full of love, and this is a beautiful writing, selfless, and reality what I like the most.

However your ending is speaking of death, there is beauty, and personally I know this moment, this feeling, so I can only applaud you. Great thought provoking, serious, emphatic writing.. here.

- Elisa

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Carl Drake Barnard

3 Years Ago

My dear Eli hehe was just abt to go to review some of your work hehe. Thank you for this fantastic r.. read more
Carl Drake Barnard

3 Years Ago

Hehe and I dont think i'm that brilliant hehe ;)

3 Years Ago

You are brilliant, please do think and believe you are sweet skattie.



Reviews

In depth with the way this comes about in the lines...
has a passive feel throughout the entire reading...
yet the visual and intended meaning is quite visible...
and a tragic ending with the way this transfers in the end...

Posted 3 Years Ago


Carl Drake Barnard

3 Years Ago

yap you are correct brother that is how I indented to write for a bit more feel :)
Glen Yumang Manese

3 Years Ago

Ditto...keep it up...
Beautiful write, and very touching. I have tears in my eyes from reading this. This is heartbreaking and I'm speechless from the beauty of it... This area for me is recently very raw and it's very emotional... beautiful.

Posted 3 Years Ago


Carl Drake Barnard

3 Years Ago

Omg you read hehe thank and for such an intense and intriguing review
Rachel P

3 Years Ago

You're welcome. This is a beautiful poem and I can't stop reading it and I am actually crying now I .. read more
Carl Drake Barnard

3 Years Ago

Imagine me writing it ... Took a lot out of me :) Thanks again and enjoy :)
You almost commanded my tears out of their dwelling place. This is a heartbreaking write, Carl.

Posted 3 Years Ago


Carl Drake Barnard

3 Years Ago

Thank you :)
Ouch. I lost a daughter and had a daughter on Valentines day, I somewhat know this pain. Excellent write.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Carl Drake Barnard

3 Years Ago

I'm sorry my friend I feel your pain* May she be in a happy place waiting for you to return and take.. read more
realmwriter

3 Years Ago

I will be with her again and you as well
Carl, you are brilliant, you do know that right? I think you don't.

You are a bestie a sweetheart, and here you prove your soul is caring, full of love, and this is a beautiful writing, selfless, and reality what I like the most.

However your ending is speaking of death, there is beauty, and personally I know this moment, this feeling, so I can only applaud you. Great thought provoking, serious, emphatic writing.. here.

- Elisa

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Carl Drake Barnard

3 Years Ago

My dear Eli hehe was just abt to go to review some of your work hehe. Thank you for this fantastic r.. read more
Carl Drake Barnard

3 Years Ago

Hehe and I dont think i'm that brilliant hehe ;)

3 Years Ago

You are brilliant, please do think and believe you are sweet skattie.
A beautiful thing, about a beautiful thing.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Carl Drake Barnard

3 Years Ago

Thank you Eden *
Wow,that was such a rush...its like I was there.

Posted 3 Years Ago


Carl Drake Barnard

3 Years Ago

Hehe have you read my status hehe,Thank you lovey for your much appreciated review :)
And never seen ever again... Sounds very tragic. Just vanished without a trace.huh

Posted 3 Years Ago


Carl Drake Barnard

3 Years Ago

Haha I appreciate your comment though it's sounds a bit sarcastic hehe thanks
Had to edit this a little,I got so bord of the small little letters hehe

Posted 3 Years Ago



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829 Views
21 Reviews
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Shelved in 1 Library
Added on July 16, 2013
Last Updated on January 30, 2014

Author

Carl Drake Barnard
Carl Drake Barnard

South Africa



About
Hi,I am Carl. I'm a Chef and a writer. I am melancholy-Rage writer as the past have said. And I am like this in real life. I write what I know and stay true to feelings as I discover them in life. more..

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