Lost by pain

Lost you to screams

and yes I still dream.

Giving birth to one

so fragile and sweet.

 

I remember the times

you always dreamed.

With spoken words like:

"oh how I wish you could see"

 

Wander where he was

when you gave birth.

All alone on this place

called earth.

 

You held on tight screaming

towards the brightest light.

I looked at you and feared

Only to notice your painful tears.

 

You held my arm now

and forced the pain.

To my excite she appeared

with the room filled with tears

 

You smiled broadly, then I noticed

your hold on me was gone.

I quickly looked and saw

how your head went down.

 

I held your hand in both of mine

You simply smiled and said:

It will all be fine.

your hand slowly slipped out of mine

 

This can't be right,

something is wrong!!

No one noticed

and now you're gone.

Reviews

[Carl Drake Barnard]

Carl, you are brilliant, you do know that right? I think you don't.

You are a bestie a sweetheart, and here you prove your soul is caring, full of love, and this is a beautiful writing, selfless, and reality what I like the most.

However your ending is speaking of death, there is beauty, and personally I know this moment, this feeling, so I can only applaud you. Great thought provoking, serious, emphatic writing.. here.

- Elisa

[Carl Drake Barnard]

My dear Eli hehe was just abt to go to review some of your work hehe. Thank you for this fantastic review much adored and appreciated :)

[Carl Drake Barnard]

Hehe and I dont think i'm that brilliant hehe ;)

You are brilliant, please do think and believe you are sweet skattie.

[Sue Hart]

Nothing is more tragic or it seems that way to me. You managed to express the loss dramatically. Excellent poem.

[Carl Drake Barnard]

thanks sue :) means a lot :)

[Sami Khalil]

Sad but sooo beautiful . Thank you for penning...:)

[Carl Drake Barnard]

Thanks for your review man means a lot :)

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:).............

[Shirley Wontas]

Such an emotional piece you wrote here. This gem wounded my heart with such sweet sorrow..thank you for sharing this.. :)

[Carl Drake Barnard]

Thank you for reading it hehe.

[TL Boehm]

This is wrenchingly beautiful and sad piece - saturated with emotion and that bittersweet almost unfathomable mix of joy and pain. An intense subject - and the poem brings that intensity to life.

[Carl Drake Barnard]

Thank you :)

[Shane Mohamed]

Hey buddy, I hope all is well. This piece is filled with emotion and I love that. It is always sad when you lose a mother giving birth to a beautiful child. You've captured the image quite vividly. I think you are developing well as a writer, whether it's a story or a poem. Each piece I read is better than the one before. I would revise before posting though. Always spell "I" when addressing yourself instead of "i" and you spelled "sliped" when you probably meant "slipped." Other than that great work Carl. Always a pleasure reviewing your works.

[Carl Drake Barnard]

Thank you,and thanking for your help good to have you as a reviewer :)

[Meg]

Amazing use of emotions, very touching

[Carl Drake Barnard]

Thank you :)

[Akshita]

such a lovely piece of ur writing...really a heart touching poem......

[Carl Drake Barnard]

Aww thank you Akshita means alot :)

[Pryde Foltz]

I have also read the comments below. Without faith, you have nothing. The poem is fabulous.

[Carl Drake Barnard]

Thank you :)

[Catlen]

This is a lovely poem, really emotional.

I read your comment below. Lots of things can go wrong in life, but never let fear rule your life, my friend.

[Carl Drake Barnard]

Thank you Catlen,means alot :)

[Meliss@k]

This literally made me say "wow" after reading it. So so very sad. So touching. So painful.

[Carl Drake Barnard]

Thank you Melissa.The idea was always in my head,thats why I'm scared to get someone I love pregnant because so many things can go wrong,loosing a child or loosing my beloved this pain you as reader feel is the pain i fee just by thinking of it. But it all depends on faith