I Found My Gift

A Chapter by Heromen Selena

     There is no use crying. Crying won't get me out or make the lake come back. I huddle against the wall and continuously look around for a change in anything, something for my eyes to see. Since the magnificent lake vanished the cave went significantly darker. The light from above no longer reflects off the walls making it harder to see in the cave. While I shiver because of the slight draft and wet from my swim, I think about where I am.
     I must be in my subconscious. There's no way someone can just make a pond disappear and drag me out that fast when I was several feet deep. Of course, I've also thought that people can't walk through walls. I'll have to assume that no body, not even the Heromen, can do that. The draft tells me that it's either early spring or late fall from the smell and I hear nothing but the wind blowing. I'm stuck in my own subconscious with no practical clothes, no way of getting out, and my only good thing from this place vanished. I must be really upset with myself.
     I sigh.
     I should be angry with myself. This is all my fault. I blew it when I started to tell James the truth about Darwin taking me over. Then Darwin got angry and locked me up. I caused James to drive us off the bridge and put myself in this place.
My heart stops. James was in the car with me. The last time I saw him before I went under was him not moving. He could be seriously injured, or even, dead. A new wave of fury comes. I caused James' death with out the help of Darwin. I was his ultimate killer. I killed James.

     "How could I be so stupid!" I say and stand up ignoring the cold. I walk to the middle and shout to nothing in particular.
     "What do you want from me, huh?! I know I did this! I know that I caused all of this! Am I being punished by myself for what I've done!? Is this where I'm going to spend the rest of my life in, a dark, damp cave?! Come on! I deserve much more pain than that. I caused the whole world's destruction for Christ's sake! That must at least get me a torture chamber or having my guts ripped out, but this!" I think I lost my mind a sentence ago and I'm certain because I'm spinning with my arms open. "This 'hole' is nothing! For killing my lover and the whole world! I'm getting off pretty easy."
     "You did not kill anyone." a strangers voice echoes in the cave.

     It's the loveliest sound I have ever heard in my life. It's deep but sweet at the same time. I turn around to see who could it possibly be.
     A girl, no, a woman not to much taller than me stands opposite of me. Her straight hair hangs to her elbows, she has two strands from the front tied to the back and white beads hand from random strands along her head. Her clothes are those like a native American's, tan colored with red paint out lining the hem of her skirt and beads sewn in blues and greens in a straight, jagged way. Her eyes the same shade of emerald as mine. I know who it is before I look anywhere else on her body because of those eyes, but her glorious marks all across her body prove that I'm right. This is James' Selena, the Heromen of the time of the Benivous.

     "Yes, you are correct. I am Selena Detrivus. The former Heromen." she says with perfect diction in the cave.

     I can't say anything. She's so beautiful with her pale skin and I'm thinking that I can never be someone like that. She has only said 4 sentences and she already has me captivated. I go over to her slowly, afraid that she would disappear if I move a moment faster, and hold my arms next to her to compare. She stares at me the whole time monitoring my every move. When she realizes what I'm doing she holds her arms out in front of her and twists them so I can see each and every mark on them.
     They're similar to mine, but hers make her look dangerous. Straight lines are my curvy ones and the swirl symbols are straight and cornered. I flip her hand over and find the one connection between our marks, the spirals are the same as mine. I leave her arms and focus on her other ones. I move her long hair aside and follow the trail of them under her shirt. The back of her shirt is bare exposing a wide frame work of them, all knotted and complicated. The line of pattern goes up her neck and to her fore head, then back around again. Down the other arm. The back pattern shows another trail that goes down to her legs and feet, I'm sure under her skirt as well.

     "Selena, are you done investigating me?" she says and my heart sings with her voice.
     "Uh- I think so. No, sorry. I didn't mean that. I meant that your marks are so much more straighter look than mine." I stutter as I come up with a reason for examining her so closely, but she just holds up her hand telling me to stop talking.
     "No worries, my daughter. Soon you will have these marks along with your new experiences. Let us discus something different, like you for instance. Why do you believe that you caused the destruction of the world?" she lowers her hand and I relax. I look down and prepare my answer.
     "Because if I didn't make James stop at the house were I found Darwin's locket and then I wouldn't have been taken over and the James wouldn't have crashed us into the river and then I wouldn't be here." I say all in one breath.
     "So, you think that it is your fault that Darwin possessed you?" she says. I nod my head.
     "Yes, it's all my fault." I say sadly. I look up she doesn't respond right away, is she smiling? Then as if the smiling isn't bad enough she starts laughing, it's a gorgeous laugh but she's still laughing at me. I wait until she's done before I say anything.
     "What's so funny?" I ask and cross my arms in front of my chest.
     "That you think it is solely your hand that James drove you off the road. That is a ridiculous observation. There were other factors that come into play before James' action of ultimately driving you off the road. It is not your doing, Selena." she says back to her normal, perfect self.
     "But it is. I'm the one who got possessed, ergo I caused James to drive us off the road and trapping myself with in me." I expect her to laugh again but she doesn't. She gives me a pity look and walks to me.
     "It is not your fault." she says right in my eyes to prove that she isn't lying. Her gaze bores into me like James' does and I can't help but believe what ever she's saying, whether I personally agree or not.
     "But, why?" I manage to ask.
     "James made his choice to try and save you like he always does. Darwin made his choice to get revenge on you for something I did. If you think about it, logically speaking in your terms, this is the result of something did to Darwin years ago. You did everything you were meant to do. You have your marks to show for it." she gestures towards my curvy lines on my arms.
     "Ok, that makes sense. Then if I didn't do anything wrong, why am I holding myself prisoner?" I say getting logical again.
     "You think that you cause the end of the world. This-" she gestures to the cave we are currently in. "Is all your own doing. I believe now that you can escape and that I will be leaving shortly." she says sadly, as if she has no choice but to go.
     "What? You're leaving already?" I ask grabbing onto her arms has if to make her stay.
     "Yes. You no longer need my wisdom to guide you to the right path to take. My gift to you that I was suppose to put in the box is this: I will come and give you direction when you truly need it, but only when you need it most." she says making sure that I understand the conditions. She starts to fade away slowly and she talks fast because of her declining time.
     "I could not help you when Darwin invaded your mind, that goes for all possession type attacks. Once you were in here I was able to ride of him for you with the lake you say. You can not spend too much time in that lake, it soothes you until you lose the motivation to return. I was the one who pulled you out. My daughter, you must take great caution when dealing with Darwin. Keep your mind only open to James, and no one else. Go now, I can still sense him waiting for you to return." she says and fades completely away with a smile on her face.

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