The Poet's love

A new story

                             The Poet' love


The old Poet loved the country of Honduras. He had came here often in his life and he loved the Honduras coastline. Trujillo and Tela had been his safe haven for 30 years. He had lived his best and worst days near the Caribbean sea. Now he came back to die. He was at the American motel in Trujillo sitting with three old friend. They were enjoying the view of the Caribbean sea, drinking sweet red wine and discussing the Poet's ending.

Paloma, a writer and poet from Spain, she told him. You are drinking the Honduras rum as your pain killers. Slowly fading away my dear friend Johnnie. Johnnie told her. There are worst ways to die. I can slowly die drinking the Honduras rum and I have my three best friend near. Lawrence, a retired doctor from Honduras, told him, with sadness in his voice. You have been waiting for death. You treat death like a welcome guest. My old friend. Death is the end. I know of no-one who have seen heaven or hell.  Leo, a painter of the sea, women and the landscape whispered. Paloma and Lawrence. I left my home in Mexico with deadly cancer 10 years ago to die in Trujillo. Today I'm alive because of the kindness of kind Trujillo women and the fresh and clean air. If Johnnie want to die. With death. We do not decide. Better to lived a life, free of fear. Some comical god-like thing made man. Weak, foolish and dumb. Men don't appreciate the gifts given. Just create havoc.

Johnnie smiled and he asked the group. Remember when we found each other in 1986. Paloma, you were the most beautiful woman I ever seen. I remember you at the nightly festival sponsored by the Doctor in Trijillo.  I saw you standing alone and I was memorized by your long flowing auburn hair and your long perfect tanned legs. You awoke me with a sweet whisper. Your dark brown eyes made me weak and speechless. I still remember the whisper. You asked me. Was I in love or in lust? I told you. Both.  Leo smiled and laughed. He told them. I remember them days. Paloma was my first nude paintings. She was a dark skin goddess and I asked her to pose. She asked. Cloths or nude. I told her both. Paloma smiled and she told him. I have one of those paintings still. You made me perfect and feel wonderful and beautiful. I was a college girl seeking reasons to live. Johnnie taught me poetry and you taught me the beauty of the world. You never attempted to touch me. I learn years later. You loved another.

Lawrence smiled and laughed at the conversation. He told them. Those were the good days dear friends. I found Johnnie first in Tela. I was the village doctor and I loved to  speak English or French.  I saw Johnnie sitting alone drinking the Honduras rum and he was watched the water dance on the shore from the hotel tavern. I invited him to my table. We were joined by six Tela young women. Tropical beauties with wild eyes and who loved to dance. Me and Johnnie talked till dawn. I remember Johnnie was escaping a broken heart and I told him. We have six Honduras beauties near us. I believe men are not suppose to love one woman.   Woman are something to behold. Can't hold too tightly and you can't hold on too loosely. When the gift of love, embrace and kiss is given. Just be thankful. I remember when you met Rosa that night. She rested on your shoulder and she waited for you to see her. I remember you looked at her and you learned I was right. When a woman pay you attention. Be thankful.

Paloma smiled and she told them. Men rarely know what they want. Once, me and Johnnie were suppose to get marry. Johnnie left for some war and I went home.  I learn a Poet's love. Male or female. Just addition to a journal to be locked away and re-read when needed. Johnnie, we tried three times and now I found you again. Are we destiny or just finding dead-end? Is our love real or just some fantasy for a poem or tale?

Johnnie took her hand and he told her. You were my first and you shall be my last love. I remember the night I met you. You stole my heart and my voice. We danced till the music was no-more. I still can see your Summer dress and how your eyes made the moon and stars seem so small. We stayed in the hotel for three days. Coming out for food and drink only.

Leo told them. No-more love stories today. Tonight the moon is full and I can hear the Trujillo songs by the beach. Me, Lawrence, you and dear Paloma will dance, drink and sing till we cannot no-more. Tonight is for living. Not for dying.

                               John Castellenas/Coyote

Author's Note

New story.

Reviews

[BlackPrince]

Dear Coyote,
I love the story from the first chapter I read so far.
You certainly have a poetic eye and it shows in your descriptive skills.
However, as a fellow writer, I'd like to remind you to carefully consider your punctuation (question marks, full stops, speech marks and so on...) and grammar and vocabulary (plural, singular and so on...).
I can see you definitely have no spelling mistakes,
but there are vital grammatical changes you have to make, since I believe that writing is something you clearly love. But, of course, it's understandable if English is not your first language.
Because, I personally believe, here on Writers Café, we're not here to only flatter each other, but we are here to read and appreciate each other's work; in that process, we have to be honest in our reviews of each other's work and be constructive in our criticism. By pointing out errors, with good intentions at heart, we can help each other grow to be the best writers we can be.
Focus on these and your writing will come to life in a major way.

Examples:
in your first paragraph,
'He was at the American motel in Trujillo sitting with three old friend.',
you will notice 'three old friend'. 'Friend' needs an s because it's plural, since there's more than one friend. The correct way would be:
'Three old friends'

In your second paragraph, you wrote,
'Paloma, a poet from Spain, she told him. You are drinking the Honduras rum as your pain killers. Slowly fading away my dear friend Johnnie.'

Right there you are introducing speech between characters, and therefore you need to introduce speech marks.
The correct way generally, and since Paloma is speaking, it should be:

Paloma, a poet from Spain, she told him, "You are drinking the Honduras rum as your pain killers, slowly fading away, my dear friend Johnny."

Or another way would be:
Paloma, a poet from Spain, told him, "You are drinking the Honduras rum as your pain killers. You are slowly fading away, my dear friend Johnny."

In the above example, in the first line, you mention Paloma's name, which is a personal pronoun; and, therefore, you don't need to add 'she'.
Look at the difference:
Paloma, a poet from Spain, she told him...
Paloma, a poet from Spain, told him...

Also think of it like this, what you would rather say in a conversation:
Paloma told him.
Paloma she told him.

[Coyote Poetry]

I finally finished the story. 50,000 words and I will find me a editor now ASAP. I do appreciate the help. I free-flow write. I wrote six chapters in one day. I do appreciate your time and the help. I do need. Thank you.

[DIVYA]

As the setting sun sinks into the seas and the sky turns a shade of dark gold, its time to light the lamps, bring out the drinks, start the music and dance till dawn...Indeed sir, this is a story about living not dying. I found so much of my own life in it. Thanks for this amazing, awesome write!

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Divya. I will finish the story in two weeks. The story is for Susana Castillo Chavez. A wonderful Mexican Poet killed for standing and writing for the young girls used in slavery and murdered.

[DIVYA]

I will look forward to the read. Its a beautiful story.

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

This is a nice write. I like the way you wrote it. It really had that sit back and talk kind of feeling which you described in the story. My favorite part was the second from last paragraph. Tyfs!!!

[Coyote Poetry]

I have written 8 chapters. Two more and I will be done. I'm writing to remember a great Poet name Susana Castillo Chavez. Killed for her words in Mexico in 2011. Thank you for reading and the comment. I do appreciate.

[Rosie Brooklin]

This is a beautiful story with wonderful imagery, but it is riddled with grammatical errors. You also might want to lengthen some of your sentences; reading the same sentence structure over and over makes the story seem monotone, despite its beautiful imagery. Regardless, it's well done!

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Rosie for the comment and the advice. When finished. I will do a final edit. Two more chapters and I hope I can find a happy ending.

[Rosie Brooklin]

Any time :) Perhaps you could comment on some of my works, as well? I'd greatly appreciate it!

[~Sarah~ Idríel T..]

You write of life, love and the stars and the moon.

Thank you for sharing it.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Sarah. I appreciate the kind words.

[Lydia Shutter]

Reminds me of a scene in a Hemmingway novel. The love and romance in your stories is intoxicating.
The imagery is stunning. John, you are an amazing story teller. Lydi**

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Lydia. I appreciate the comment and the kind words.

[Ken Simm.]

I simply love this first chapter. I can see them in their linen suits and panama hats drinking through the fug of cigars.
Very Hemmingwayesque if there is such a word. I will continue later.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Ken. I do appreciate the comment.

[Josie E. Cook M. A.]

Love this!
So like some of my favorite writer's short stories
nice work!

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Josie. I appreciate the comment.

[Angelheart1]

And what a story it is my friend! Though your words are filled with a love that had been lost it ends on a good note ~ finding that love again & it will touch the hearts of many. Thanks for sharing your words with us John. Angelheart

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you dear friend. I appreciate the comment.

[Angelheart1]

You are very welcome Sir, it was my pleasure to read your words. Angel

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

So great Coyote. I hope you publish a book someday. Your stories are so real and you paint such beautiful pictures with your words. I feel like I'm right in the story with you. Your style is like Hemingway's. Can't wait to read the next chapter! Excellent work!

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Annette. This story had been dancing in my head for many days. Tonight I will write another chapter.

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

Beautiful I enjoyed this immensely you are good

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Julie. A new effort had begin.