I am going to California

Just words.

                                  I am going  to California

I wrote down on a napkin at the Pier in Monterey. "You can't go back and you can't kill the memories."

I was young once and I loved the sea, I loved highway one.  I try to die in faraway wars and dear California saved me. The sea song made me dance with her. I suicide boarded the Winter storms and Alisa Fineman saved me with her kindness at Big Sur.

I saw a exquisite young woman at the poetry reading in the Spring of 1992. She eyed me and watched me like I was interesting prey. I went to her and  I introduced myself. My name is Johnnie, poet want-to-be and soldier. She smiled, licked her lips and she whispered. My name is Annie. I love the want-to-be poets. Make my blood boil with their tasty words.

She had long auburn hair and perfect hazel eyes. Her short dress allowed me to see her tanned legs and the sleeveless blouse. Tempted me with brown and tender skin. We wandered to the Monterey Bay and I read poetry to her till the morning birth.  She was a student in Santa Cruz, going to be a nurse and save the world. We became one, we savior the days of  late Spring and deep into the Summer. I remember we would stay nude and free till 3pm. She told me daily. Kiss me, like you miss me. Kiss me, like I'm the only one. Kiss me long, kiss me sweet. 

Today I wrote on the bar napkin.

  

"Bye, bye love.

I loved you first, I will love you last."

The taste of your skin,

the taste of your lips,

the softness of your hands upon my face,

Once sweet dreams turned to deadly nightmares."

I walked down to the Pacific. I told the sea. "Dear Annie. You taught me to be fearless in love, you taught me. Love was my weakness, you taught me. Enjoy the good days. We shall have very few." I remember your last words to me.

"Sweet Poet, You are a soldier and I have my degree. You want the wild journeys and tropical places. You desire the journey and I want to do some good. You are the hurricane and I'm the peaceful river. When you decide to stop. I will be in Monterey. Waiting.

I came back 28 years later. Too late to find you dear Annie. My bleeding heart held silence and I whispered to the sea. Johnnie back in Monterey. The hurricane is a quiet storm now and I remember you. Do you remember me?

                               Coyote

Author's Note

Just words.

Reviews

[Neville]

You have the most unique style my brother.. ragged, honest and real.. so wish I had been there, way back in the spring of 1992... but then, I might have missed the birth of my daughter... an immensely powerful, meaningful and beautiful collection of words........... N

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Neville for reading and the comment. I need 20 years on the Monterey coastline.

[Neville]

my sincere pleasure..when ya make your pitch, drop me a line.. please..

[Coyote Poetry]

Maybe one day. I hope.

[Neville]

Me too.........

[silentwriter180]

You need to come back sometime. Get some Vitamin O

[Coyote Poetry]

I agree. I need a year at Big Sur. Finish my five books and watch the Pacific. Thank you for reading and the comment.

[Kelly Scheppers]

Twenty-eight years is an awfully long time, but I'd be willing to bet she still remembers...wherever she may be! Such a touching piece, John. Thank you for sharing!

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you dear Kelly for reading and the comment. I do appreciate.

[andrew mitchell]

Nice writing John, Monterey reminded me of Eric burden. Your style is uniquely your own in signature style.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Andrew. You are very kind.

[andrew mitchell]

It’s funny til this day I still play California by Manfred Mann Earth band, my fav song, your title brought on this thought instantly.

[θεά]

A sweet, sad trip down memory lane. We leave a part of ourselves in our youth, with some people who caught our fancy, to some moments which will be embedded in our hearts forever.

Lovely and personal write, Coyote.

I hope Annie reads this. Somehow.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Mallika. I appreciate the comment.

[Dave]

Johnnie -
I love what you do with your words. I can feel your passion and hers. To know though that you were both on divergent paths and went your separate ways. The hope, long shot though it might be, that after all those years there might still be something there.

Take care - Dave

[Coyote Poetry]

Some things cannot be found. Lost to the greed of life. Thank you Dave for reading and the comment. I do appreciate.

[Carolynn]

Wow this is so beautiful and touching - it must be so hard to love someone but know you are on different paths. Thank you for sharing this Coyote

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Carolynn. I appreciate the kind words.

[m.s.early]

This is crazy gorgeous writing. I read it twice just so it could sink in really well. I think I'll read it again.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you my friend. I appreciate the kind words.

[John the Baptist]

A bittersweet tale that reminds us that you can't go home again. Even if Annie had been there, after 28 years it's doubtful it would have been the same. Times change and so do people. Still, it's a beautifully worded and moving story. Well done.

[Coyote Poetry]

I agree John. Can return to the same place. Thank you for reading and the comment. I do appreciate.