Secret love and hidden memory

Someone today told me. Write a new poem. Here it is.

                         











 


















Secret love and hidden memory.

I saw her face today.
Made me wander back in time.
Each of us hold our Beatrice's near.
The writer holds on to memories like a drunkard holds on to his wine.

Do our memories become less with time?
Do innocent kisses and embraces of youth become sweeter with age?

Do dreams of beautiful brown eyed young woman leave your thoughts
and you become empty?

Can you escape the dance of long sweet kisses and yearning to touch
tender and warm flesh?

Age allowed us to ponder old memories.
Make us wished we held tighter and done more.

Beautiful faces dance in my head.
Old thoughts forgotten.
Rebirth to make me remember I loved a brown eye girl once.

                                     Coyote
                                     May2012

Reviews

[Liderien]

there is an s on "dances" third line from the bottom. it should either be danced or dance.

The line under the picture could be shortened to fit the poem better.
instead of
""The writer holds on to memories like a drunk holds on to his wine"
The writers hold to memories like a drunkard to his wine.

That is all my friend. Thank you sharing. It brings me great joy to read your writings.

[Sophistication]

I understand all too well the feeling of memories when we're with the ones we so desire. However I have yet to steal an innocent kiss in this youth from her soft lips nor see affection in her brown eyes. J'adore!

[Becky C Strukamp]

coyote, you are a master of writing poems of love, yet another beautifully crafted write. Your memories of love are so endearing to ones heart. Thanks again for sharing your memories.

[Mark]

"The writer holds on to memories like a drunkard holds on to his wine."

My sisters often are surprised at my memories. To me, it's like drinking water; something to do to cure a thirst. Our memories may not be completely accurate, but they are what we want to remember.

[Mark]

The writer holds to memories like a drunkard holds on to his wine is a really great line. One of your best I think. It also works really well with the line following it and I think you might try structuring the poem around that seed. The next line doesn't really fit with the rhythm and flow that those two lines generated quite nicely.

[-musicfunk-]

your a very good writer

[Kena SunGoddess Dawn]

beautiful, one of my favorites so far. Very romantic and loving.

[Amber "Victoriomantic" ..]

If anything, your memories seem to become richer and more vivid over time, as they come to life in your beautiful poetry. As always, I am moved and touched by your journey through life. Thank you for sharing, as ever. This piece shows a wonderful thought process about memories. You are very considerate.

[Humor Me]

"Age allowed us to ponder old memories.
Make us wished we held tighter and done more" nicely said

[Rhea]

the 'woman' in the seventh line from the top should be 'women'. otherwise, if you are writing for one woman, the sentence should be
'Do dreams of a beautiful brown eyed young woman leave your thoughts
and you become empty?'

Apart from that.. the poem is gorgeous.. It's so emotional.. Memories are beautiful... thank you for sharing.

[nicolettox]

your words strike hard.
thanks again for a beautiful poem.