Oilcloth Covered Hill

Chapter 1

Just beyond the vast city, there was a hilly area predominantly consisting of hills and landforms that very much resembled hills, such as grassy knolls, hillocks, and the occasional miniature mountain. It was on these hills that the official walked with a cadet by his side observing the area.

The cadet’s shift was almost over. The job of the cadets was to assist high ranking officials, but only during their shift. A shift lasted precisely two minutes and no longer, after that a new cadet came and took over and so on and so forth. Fortunately there were several thousand cadets, with new ones being born every minute. A cadet’s life comprised of one shift, the rest was retirement.

The official stroked his scaly blue snout in puzzlement and the beginnings of anger. This hill was littered. Scattered across its side were a dozen, perhaps two dozen off white cloths stained with a black substance that strangely reeked of oil.

“Oilcloth” he said to himself. Immediately after he said that, his curiosity began to run wild. The official never tasted oil before, so now he thought that this was his best opportunity to do so. The official walked over to one of the many cloths stained with oil and picked it up. The claw holding the cloth was now trembling with excitement. This was a big moment for the official.

A long red tongue emerged from the official’s scaly mouth. He then began to lick the cloth vigorously. His face was full of contentment, but this expression soon changed as he tasted the oil.

“BLEEHH!!!” shrieked the official, with his tongue now covered in the disgusting black substance.

“What are these horrible cloths?” The official yelped.

“Oilcloths, sir” The cadet said sternly.

The official relaxed now, knowing the cloths were something as harmless as oilcloth. He paused and then grinned. He turned his large reptilian head in the direction of the cadet and began to speak.

“What do oilcloths make?” said the official mischievously.

“Oil.” The cadet said without emotion.

“No. They make about 2.50 an hour.” The official laughed at his own joke. Then there was a long silence.

The cadet stood there not even a trace of a smile on his face.

“My shift’s over, sir.” The cadet walked away.

The official searched around the area while waiting for the next cadet to arrive, looking for anything that may be of interest to him. He tip toed around the oilcloths being ever so careful not to step on any of them. The last thing he wanted was to crush one of their fabric bodies with his impressive lizard-like foot. The official was sort of hoping to find a small yellow flower he planted when he was just a little blue reptilian creature, many years ago. He didn’t plant it anywhere near here, but he was hoping for the off chance someone may have taken the flower out of the pot it was in and re-planted it on this very hill.

“Wouldn’t that be something!” the official thought.

At the very least he hoped to find a descendant of the flower he planted, the great, great offspring of that little yellow flower he planted so long ago. He had so many questions for it, what had happened in that family of flowers in which he had created with just a seed, some water, and the most important ingredient of all, water.

He heard someone approaching. He quickly ducked down behind a hill, fearful that the approaching person may have a strong dislike of the official or his policies. The official’s political career was inundated with an extensive sequence of injuries of various natures, most of them the result of the official’s typical curiosity.

This hill was so small it would barely obscure the sight of himself from the oncoming intruder. He crouched together to make himself as small as he could. The sound of footsteps grew louder by the second; it was at this point the official realized that his lengthy and powerful tail was sticking out from behind his hill shield.

“Blasted!” he muttered under his fiery breath again and again.

“Sir?” a voice said.

It was just the next cadet. The official breathed a sigh of relief. “How foolish could I have been?” he laughed as he stood up and met the cadet with a big toothy grin.

But he looked right back down, just a few feet away from where he was lying just a moment ago, was a flower. The official’s eyes grew wide; his mouth hung open revealing his shark-like teeth. There stood a flower, not just any flower, it the very flower he had been looking for on this little escapade.

It looked exactly like the little yellow flower he planted when he was young, except it was large with jagged edged petals which were blood red. On the edge of the flowers petals were pointed spines that dripped dark menacing purple ooze.

“Yes! This is the flower, the very same flower I planted when I was so little! This is it! This is it!” He could not contain his excitement, he just had to pull it from the ground, and it was his flower after all, no one else’s. His clawed fingers touched the stem.

Things were hazy. He could definitely make out a light on the ceiling and some objects moving in front of it, they were shuffling around speaking amongst themselves. He could hear an electronic buzz and a faint low humming. Every breath he took was a strenuous labor; he could tell there was something like a tube running into his mouth and down his throat.

The cadet, acting out of sheer adrenaline, quickly began to transport the official to a nearby clinic. Without a moment to spare, he heaved the official over his back with the fireman’s carry technique. He ran as fast as he could for one minute and seventeen seconds when he abruptly dropped the official, for his shift was over. The official lay in a semiconscious state for an hour and a half until the next cadet could locate his whereabouts. Forty four cadets had reach retirement before the official was found. The process went on for two and a half days until the official made it to the clinic.

When the official was brought in the cadet hollered, “This man needs attention, a second can not be wasted or we might lose him!” A receptionist comforting the cadet responded, “Does he have any insurance cards with him?” The cadet snapped back, “Don’t you know who this is?" “Uh no, and I don’t care who he is if he doesn’t have insurance!” responded the receptionist.

The cadet said, “Let me whisper in your ear the identity of the official.” The receptionist’s eyes bulged in nervousness, she got on the loud speaker, “We got a 647 in progress, come get this patient stat!” The official was taken into the infirmary where a young intern began to check his vital signs. The intern had never seen this type of illness before and ran to the receptionist and exclaimed, “Call in the specialist at once!” The intern explained, “The specialist is a well revered physician with a highly educational background. He has a major in Scatology with a minor in Nephrology and not to mention an associate’s degree in Orthopterology.” “Orthopterology?” replied the receptionist. “I said not to mention Orthopterolgy!” shouted the intern.

The specialist arrived with great fanfare. He gazed at the official and said, “Looking at his blue snout I believe he has expired.” It was explained to him that this was the official’s actual skin tone. The specialist then said, “I only know one way to go about this for I have seen this condition many years ago after a young creature planted his first seed.” “What can I do to help?” asked the intern. “Get me various probes, nodes and diodes and a box of Epsom salts!! We may have to cut him open as well!”

Months went by, the official in and out of consciousness, during those periods when he was out of it he dreamt of flowers that weren’t deadly to touch.

His medical insurance only went so far, when that happened they moved him into the medic break room. There they flung paper footballs over his resting body, and set their carbonated drinks on his end table.

“We’re gonna try to get you up and walking today, sir.”

This was first time the official heard a human voice in a long time. He opened his eyes slowly. The light was shining through the window where he could see the very tops of some buildings.

Leaning over the foot of his bed was a medic holding a clipboard. The official looked around and noticed that this was not a standard room; this was indeed a break room. The vending machines were right behind the medic.

“Come on” said the medic “if you don’t get out of here soon, they’re going to elect a new official.”

“Nonsense!” the official exclaimed, everything now becoming clear to him. He was upset, bordering to the point of rage.

“More importantly, this hospital could lose its funding.” The medic said to as if it was the official’s fault.

Refusing to be accused of this ordeal, the official had to say something. “The cadet made me touch the flower!” he lied.

“What was the cadet’s name?” the medic said half-interested.

The official didn’t remember his own name let alone that of one of the hundreds of cadets he came in contact with during his career. He had to come up with another excuse.

“YOU made me touch the flower!” The official said to the medic.

People in the break room were shocked. They couldn’t believe that a well trained medic would put so much negative peer pressure on a high ranking official. The medic was immediately taken away by a few guards, never to be seen again.

The official chuckled to himself, “I can’t believe that excuse worked! I guess I just have a talent for coming up with lies.” The official began to stroke his snout with satisfaction, only to be greatly disappointed.

“What the!? What happened to my snout!!?” the confused official screamed.

He ran to a nearby mirror, only to find out that during the numerous operations, the medics replaced his once loved blue snout with a large red clown nose.

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