An Expansive Compulsion of Extensive Dimensions

John believes that his thoughts control the universe. When he thinks something, he starts to experience it. The problem is that he only imagines bad things, and only his brother can talk it away.

An Expansive Compulsion of Extensive Dimensions

 

Sometimes I feel the Earth about to slingshot into space, leave its orbit and shoot into nowhere. I see it tumbling toward asteroids, and I know my building will crash into the next one. When the floor starts moving, I hold onto one of the rails I installed in my apartment and slide along the wall to my phone.

            There are other times when I see the Sun start to burn out. Black holes rip open the bright yellow surface. The sky darkens. It's difficult to see. That's why I keep as many candles lit as I can afford. My own miniature suns. I usually have more, but last month something happened to the check. They said I didn't fill in the paperwork correctly. I know I did.

            The Moon is also an issue. It's because of the astronauts. I know they had germs on their boots and microbes on their gloves when they planted the dirty tin flag. I can feel all those germs flourishing on the Moon, becoming blue turf. I hear them growing. I see the green dots of hybrid bacterias when the Moon is full. And when they cover enough of the Moon's surface, it'll stop working, stop pulling the ocean tides. I know the seawater will become still and then a super saltwater mosquito will spawn. There will be too many of them and they'll have huge stingers and they'll kill us off and all our cattle and then whatever few animals are left will eat all the plants until only mosquitoes are left to sting each other, swapping blood for blood.

            When I think these things, they start to happen. I think it, and I see it, and I make it happen.

            My brother knows and he has a power too. When he says that the Earth isn't going to shoot into space, the ground stops stretching. Everything eases back into place. All he needs to do is say it in a low, slow voice. It's like I'm the villain and he's the superhero, but we work together. He always answers his phone to talk because he knows that's what stops the universe from collapsing. He also brings in my packages and groceries from the hallway.

            Sometimes I call him even when nothing's wrong.

            "Hey John."

            "I thought you were Kara."

            "No. Just your bro."

            "Now's not a good time. Kara moved out and all she left was the ring."

            "You're better off. On average, adults lose up to fifty strands of hair a day and over a million skin cells. You got a big girl with long hair in your apartment, that's a lot of dust balls to clean every day. You're better off. Hello?"

            "What?"

            "What's wrong?"

            "You're too selfish to understand."

            "Selfish?"

            "Self-centered, really."

            "Self-centered? John, day and night I hope for the safety of the entire universe. Not just people. Not just all people. But everything on Earth. I worry about entire planets. The whole solar system. The universe. How is that self-centered?"

            "You do it to make yourself feel important. And to give yourself something to do."

            "I thought you understood all this."

            "I'm fed up. I told you Kara left and you give me some cold facts about dead skin that probably aren't true. I'm done with all this. Really. I'm done."

            "We're all still alive because of it. The universe is safe because of you. My brother."

            "I can't enable you anymore. No more phone calls. Not the way we do."

            "John. Please. You have to help."

            "No. You're done. No more phone calls. No more checking in on you. Oh man. Kara's calling. I have to go."

            "No. Wait. John, wait. Hello? Hello? John. John you have to be there. It's the whole world. The universe. Pick up your phone. Answer your phone."

            "This is the man without a plan. Leave a message."

            "John, when you get this call me back. It's starting."

            The room darkens. The few lit candles around my apartment become more pronounced. Listening for the phone to ring, for my savior brother to do his job, I only hear buzzing. The newly hatched mosquitoes. The oceans must've stopped flowing already. The mosquitoes are on their way. Putting one hand in front of the other, I climb the rail to the window to see for myself. With the floor rocking underneath me, I pull myself to the window, open it, lean into the darkness. I fall out, up into space, toward a green-grassed Moon.

            When I open my eyes, alien people are standing over me yelling for an ambulance.

            "John! You have to talk it away. John! Get my phone. Do you things understand me? Phone. My phone. Call my brother John. Only he can stop this." 

Reviews

[TerryMcD]

Wow, that's fun to read. Certainly it reminds me of things I write so maybe I'm biased but it's good. I really like the beginning. Caught after the first sentence. And I think you're dialogue is excellent - reminds me of Waiting for Godot.

[Chris Orza]

Wow. Thanks for comparing it to Beckett. That's a great honor. I usually try to whittle down dialogue as much as possible.

[Chris Orza]

And thanks for the kind review.

[WestWriter]

From the very beginning, I am convinced that the narrator believes that the improbable events being described are actually taking place. This holds true throughout the story for the narrator, even as it becomes apparent to me that what he believes is happening, isn't. That's a fine line to walk, and Chris Orza does it well.

So much attention to detail, both in the descriptions of the catastrophic events, the real events, and the narrator's personality traits, lend heavy weight to the emotional impact of the story while keeping the scales perfectly balanced. It takes a deft hand to create a vivid picture, and a wise mind to focus with clarity and simplicity on only that which matters. Kudos to Chris for including only those elements which were necessary to the story, keeping my interest to the very end.

A bit of foreshadowing cleverly disguised as further descriptive narration, heightens the tension mid-story and adds to the dramatic end. This is an area in which I am seriously lacking in experience. I have learned something from reading, and reviewing, this piece. So, Chris, thanks for that!

With a brief dialogue half-way through, I get a clear sense of John's exasperation, bringing the big picture into focus and hurtling the plot toward a (satisfactorily) disastrous end. Which, in case you haven't read it yet, I won't spoil here.

My diagnosis, Meneria. I kid, but only because after having read it, I am thoroughly entertained. So much so, in fact, that I have chosen this story as the winner to be featured at my blog. Congratulations, Chris Orza! I'll message you directly with the details.

[Chris Orza]

Wow. Thank you so much for your well-written review and for choosing me as the winner. This is so amazing!