Zhume Has Anxiety

This is just... a really weird thing I wrote. I have no explanation, except Zhume is pronounced like "zoom."

A small wolf named Zhume padded restlessly back and forth across pine needles and dusty brown dirt. He was uneasy, despite having been quite relaxed during the afternoon. He could hear his pack howling all around him, but had no desire to join then, even though he felt lonely.

I don’t understand this. He thought. One moment he would be lolling lazily in the sunlight. The next, he would be up and padding around again, though his mind raced faster than his paws. Chasing squirrels, chewing sticks, trotting through the stream--all of his usual hobbies he had lost interest in. Zhume couldn't identify exactly what he wanted, let alone what he needed to put his mind at ease. 

He had tried speaking to his pack members, but they weren’t helpful. All either agreed whole heartedly with him, or they completely argued and made him feel worse. 

If only someone would listen to me without judging, or even saying anything back.

Zhume felt as though a deer mouse was gnawing him in the back of his head, inside his brain. At this too vivid thought, he laid his front end on the ground and pawed at his ears vigorously. It didn’t ease the odd itch that he hated so much. 

His pack continued to howl. Lonely, he was so lonely, but he didn’t want to be near them. Zhume howled back, his voice sad and filled with confusion. 

Sanny burst from the woods and toppled Zhume over, licking and pawing him ferociously. She wanted to play, to distract Zhume from whatever was troubling him. 

He pushed her off, shook out his blonde-grey fur, and walked in the opposite direction, his tail twitching in irritation. Zhume couldn’t handle Sanny’s energy right now, in fact, he found her completely exhausting. Zhume walked, leaving paw prints in the mud, until he reached the river. He placed his rear end in the soft grass and his green eyes rested lazily on the sparkle of the stream.

A chipmunk chattered nearby. 

Are you the one chewing on my brain? Zhume asked. The chipmunk poked her head out of the tree nearby.

Don’t think so. She replied. 

Zhume went back to ignoring her. He tried to drown the thoughts without voice in his head with the sound of the river’s gurgling. 

What’s wrong, Wolf? The river asked.

Be quiet. I’m trying not to think. Zhume replied. And he was trying with all his might. Trying so hard that his ears were flat against the back of his neck, his hackles were raised, and a white spot of tooth shone from where his lip was curled. Once again he leaned down on his front side and pawed at his ears and head.

But he didn’t feel like getting back up suddenly. Zhume flopped in the grass, breathing a deep sigh. All distractions helped him only temporarily. Just as he had been trying so hard before, Zhume stopped trying. He was too tired to ignore his mind. 

Zhume felt he was inundated by bad thoughts, but at the same time couldn’t truly make out what they were saying. He took a look at his life with the eyes inside his head, and came to the conclusion that something had to be wrong with him. No one else felt the way he did. Zhume knew he was alone in that. 

So what, what, what, do I do? Zhume asked his own head. There was no response. He whimpered sadly, and reached a paw out to swirl the water. A small water spider fled at the great mass of fur. How can I feel lonely with such a family?

Zhume was still listening to the song of his pack. They were celebrating the new moon. He wanted to join them, but felt that he would be unhappy if he did. 

But Zhume got up, and padding back into the woods, howled with his pack. 

Author's Note

I don't really know what to classify this as.

Reviews

[Rocki-san]

It's a strange little story but I like it :D