The Breeze

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The Breeze
Oliver, a middle aged boy with bright blonde hair and dashing blue eyes was about to go on a perilous journey across the southern sky. He would be off to meet his distant mother, from Peru. His mother and father had been married and divorced years ago and he stayed with his father in America, while his mother chose to fly to peru for its beautiful scenery and its adventures. This is his journey to Peru to meet his mother…
It was a busy day for Oliver, he would finish the last day of school for the summer break he had been waiting for. Oliver counted down the seconds on the clock until the bell finally rang, and he said goodbye to his friends and teachers and flew out of the classroom.He was a foil to the other kids as he wanted his summer to be devoted to visiting his mother, while they wanted out of school and no homework.He decided to expedite the bus ride home and just run instead. He assumed that running would be salubrious to his health and could benefit his well being. His feet raced across the ground as fast as they possibly could.
When he reached the door he was out of breath and panting. His father asked him what the rush was because his plane would not leave for at least another couple hours. Oliver asked all sorts of questions about Peru, his mother, and the journey across the sea.
His father, being perfunctory, told him that he will get the answers to all of his questions after he packs his bags and gets on the plane. Oliver ran upstairs and packed his things, one by one into his huge suitcase. His swim trunks, t-shirts, shorts, goggles, and so much more all went flying into the suitcase. When he had finished packing he called down to his dad to say he was ready to leave.
In the car on the way to the small town airport his dad gave him a bag of money, and a pair of his great grandfather’s binoculars t elucidate the winsome scenery he was to see. Oliver thanked him and gave him a hug goodbye at the airport and boarded the small plane. He was the only other person aboard the plane besides the pilot Ross, who was busy inspecting all of the equipment for flight.

Ross, being judicious, gave the plane one more check and began to idle down the runway. Oliver sat in the co-pilot seat and put a headset on to hear Ross over the engine. Ross checked to make sure Oliver was ready because they would not stop until the reached Peru. Oliver had always enjoyed the thought of flying, and this was his first time being in the air, and he absolutely loved it.
As Ross inclined above the clouds the ground got smaller and smaller until it disappeared from sight. Oliver relaxed and watched the clouds around him, as the long journey began. Oliver’s mind wondered and drifted on about the new place he was going and how excited he was to visit his mother. The blades became dulcet to Oliver’s drifting mind, and he fell asleep.
Everything seemed Quixotic aboard the plane as the began to cross the ocean’s crisp blue water. There was a latent problem aboard the plane that Ross and Oliver had no clue was about to make a huge difference on their flight. The passage they were crossing was windy and turbulent as Zephyrus was stewing about a rude traveler who had come before them. The plane began to dive a paltry amount, until it shuddered while storm clouds began to gather above. Boom! Thunder rumbled as loud as it could, it was like the sky had gotten into a fight with the sea. The sky was blowing and swerving about, as the ocean below grew into massive waves topped with the white salty spray that was abounding the winds rath.
The storm only grew more powerful as they flew on, Oliver who had been oblivious to the situation, was startled by this sudden storm and the turbulence that it was causing. The conditions worsened as the plane began to dive uncontrollably. “ Prepare for an emergency landing lad, and get your life jacket secured!” Yelled Ross. Oliver quickly grabbed his bright orange jacket and strapped Into it as tight as it would go. The plane began its descent into the violent ocean. Oliver saw his life flash before his eyes, just when the plane hit the water. The fallacy as Oliver thought would happen, that they would be okay, but that was untrue.
The ocean began to swallow the plane, engulfing it in the salty waters. Oliver took a deep breath just as it dipped below the surface, and he began to find his way out, he escaped through the small window on the co-pilot side of the aircraft. The waves crashed over him, not allowing him to get to the surface. It seemed as Poseidon and Zephyrus we’re fighting, using the elements to prove their battle true. Oliver went black as the ocean thrashed him around, useless, and unable to move at his will, he became unconscious to the world.
There was more to the battle of survival that Oliver had to face, as Charybdis was spiraling, and sucking the plane down into the depths of its mouth. The monster was about to swallow the plane whole, just as Oliver’s unconscious body was pushed aside from his gaping whirlpool. Oliver still unconscious sunk to the ocean floor. Ross was still inside the plane while it was eaten by the gargantuan monster.
He awoke in a warm bed made of clouds, and he thought that his life had ended and he was in heaven. He sat up and began to notice the room he was in was bright and airy, the clouded bed, and the door, which he reached for and peeled out. Oliver discovered a man who he had never seen before, he called himself Zephyrus, the god of the wind. He called upon Oliver to follow him so that he could see the rest of the cloud island, and get home safely to his mother.
Oliver could not believe what he was seeing, as it wouldn’t seem humanly possible. The god took him to a table displayed with a feast of every food he could imagine and more. He offered Oliver food, and Oliver ate as much as a boy can eat. He became full and satisfied with his full stomach, and asked how he got to the island of the sky. The god spoke in a deep and confident voice describing the plane crash and that he say Oliver in need and took him in to save him and that his captain had been lost. Oliver felt bad for Ross, as he had been flying him to his mother for little money and died along the way.
Zephyrus shows Oliver the way to get to his mother quickly by riding the cloud down to the ground where his mother lives. Oliver waves goodbye to Zephyrus as the cloud descends down into the lands of Peru. The view from the light fluffy cloud is astonishing to Oliver, as the sky contains a colorful rainbow across the sky. The trees look miniature and the houses like little model objects. As the cloud reached lower heights the ground was augmented from its previous point of view. The cloud reaches the ground as the journey ends.
Ross dies during the crash and is remembered as a highly admired pilot. Oliver returns to his mother safely and enjoys spending the summer in Peru.He explores many forests and encounters different creatures along the way. His mother sends Oliver home to go back to school, where he is prepared to share his story of his tremendous journey across the sea. He flies home aboard a jet with many passengers, it lands safely back at home.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

Your storytelling is strong & your imagination is off the charts. Since I'm a straightforward person, sometimes I don't follow writing that's wildly inventive. However, your writing is still clear & easy to follow, even tho the storyline is outlandish. This, to me, is the perfect combination of fantasy with a realistic way of telling the story. I like the way the two end up at the bottom of the ocean, then they're up in the clouds -- nice contrast. Here's one piece of advice to think about for future writing. I see that in some places, you DESCRIBE the things that are said, but you are not putting it across as "dialogue" . . . I also did this when I was a new writer & it took awhile for me to try using dialogue instead. I think dialogue is a more powerful way to show us your characters & their way of speaking, as well as any mannerisms that enhance their character traits. Other than that, I notice that you write with dynamic verbs so that this feels like a quickly-paced & almost breathless adventure (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie