Just A Little Something..

Just a random rant.

It's hard to live up to the expectations you get from the previous years. The years before you knew who you were, but you weren't trying to find yourself. You did things that you already knew you liked, and you never made any mistakes. Everyone loved you. You were quite perfect in their eyes; happy all the time. Some people even wished that they could be you, and live such a happy life. 

One Year Later.

You realize that you're now a senior, and that this is the last year that you can figure out who you are before you go off to college. You try new things, figure out what you like, what you don't like. In the process, you start losing people that used to think you were special. The people who used to look up for you for not having sex, doing drugs or making mistakes. You just want to find out who you are. You start drinking to make the pain go away of people talking down upon you. The drinking makes people hate you even more, but you're to hurt to stop. You realize that you're lonely. People at school don't talk to you, unless it's about something they heard. They push away their old thoughts about you, because they have more opinions on you now, you're a mess up. You screwed everything up, and you're left with what? A bottle of whiskey and a eye full of tears, a heart full of holes and a boy full of failure. You stop making the mistakes. People still will never look at you the same. You hit rock bottom, and there's no way back to the top. You suffer, you lay there waiting for someone to help. Nobody comes around. Was it worth it? Did you ever find out who you were? Do you wish that you could take it all back? Take back the pain, the lies and all the times that you fucked up. The person that you wanted to find was hidden for a reason, because once he gets out, he'll never leave.

Author's Note

I'm not really this depressed. It just hit me one day, and my teacher kind of told me to put all the thoughts that i had into this journal of mine. This was one of them.