In the Shadows of Wanting More

A path to evening drops into life
like a maze full of sin.
Complete with smiles
no poet can divide.
Protection from the air is grim
same as a marriage
woven in a mist
of distrust and lies.

A sad, sad spell enchants your hands
when you lie naked
in the shadows of wanting more.
You cannot help but wonder
if this means
you are dead to the skies
lying between anguish
and the path to evening, keeping score.

Your feet fill in the gaps
saying farewell to sacrifice
when midnight strikes
yet does not save you again.
You cannot walk the path to evening
if you do not know
your way out
of the maze full of sin.

Reviews

[MoriartyMesa]

Through the entire reading of this work, I was trying if not struggling to remember a song from the 90's. The beginning made me think of a piano solo, thankfully I was able to remember the song. But to read something and remember a song from the mid 90's.....well that just about takes the cake in my book.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lAHbZsg95M0

[Zachary_James]

Loved it
Great work

[Philip Smith]

Made me think of love lost. Nice words, great piece

[VelvetRosetta]

I love what Muse said about you..I agree...you are a fine poet indeed it bleeds from the words upon your heart...beautiful Neva!

[nathan]

Like fine wine...

[Lily Mae]

I'm not even sure what to say to this one.. and I think you can understand.. Your words speak to those silent moments ...xo

[Muse]

A sad, sad spell enchants your hands...it is the curse of a fine poet. xo

[Revery]

This was powerful and captures it's subject so very well. The intensity is strong and the descriptions are deep. Excellent write.

[Aidz]

A sad, sad spell enchants your hands

This line is yelling at me .... why? I will have to think...the rest as always you know how I feel about yr work :)

[R J Askew]

You don't disappoint. I love the notion of that maze. I can see a surreal vision of it. There is a dream like quality to it. But the best dab in the poem for me is the title because the itch to always have more is something that drives us all in good and bad ways. What are we without it? Philosophers, that's what, or dead. Some might say a philosopher is dead anyway as they clearly think far too much and and semi-uman in their self-restraint. But the really brilliant thing about the dab, for me, is that the notion of the shadow suggests that the want is real, solid, substantial. And, effectively, it is. But -- ach, life! -- it is good and bad. For where wld we be without that terrible drive in us? Also, thinking about the last line, all may not be lost as there is usually a way out of every maze for the determined ones.

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

So well penned! Your wording and phrasing brings a tale of webs of sin and out to find our way out, so well done!