My Truth vs. Your Lies

A little twisted poem... my imagination had a sick twisted love affair with insanity.

Cold air fills my throat,
travels to the void inside.
If I only hadn’t cut my putrid
soul out just last night,
maybe I could find the words to
form the lies to comfort me
tonight, cover myself in
them and sink down deep,
deep into the familiar warm
bliss of ignorance.

A sob rising from the
back of my throat, a cry
breaking into the silence,
gently rising until it breaks
barriers and becomes a
single quivering note, and
I'll sing until it becomes a scream,
and I'll scream until the blood
fills my mouth and only red
words from my heart fall from
my tongue to this chalk-white
sidewalk, and I'll f*****g drown
the world in all these things I never
said.

And then I'll look up at you this
one last time with the crimson
truth pouring out from me, and
you'll spit on me and step in the
truth as you walk away - I watch
the footprints fade - and I'll try and
swallow everything I just spilled for
you, try and eat my heart, eat my
words, all the things I never said
to you, all the things I meant to say
to you, all these things I wish
I hadn't finally said to you...

I push my hands into the truth
and cover them in this cold -
when did it get so cold? – I bring
it to my face and smear it across my
cheek, run it over my lips and taste
the black poison of rejected confession,
taste the f*****g hate you injected into
my blood. I know then that you are
not who I thought you were. I know then
that you are not who I want you to be.
I know then that all you were was what
I wanted to see, who I wanted to be.

Cold, emotionless, you sit on the
throne of hearts with the queen
slain at your feet, and here I stand,
Alice lost in wonderland, a glass
floor built of lies cracking beneath
my feet, a glass floor built of blind
impatience, overwhelming hopes
and oh, so many dreams; cracking
beneath my feet until I finally
feel it break under me. Down I
fall into your suffocating black
smile, shards of everything I
know coming down around me.

And if I only hadn’t cut my f*****g
soul out just last night,
maybe I could find the words to
form the lies to comfort me
tonight.
 

Reviews

[octane143]

Wow. This is stunning painful to read.The imagery is absolutely beautiful and haunting, and so mirrors my feelings right now. Its so descriptive that I completely devoured it, tearful, and had to re-read it to get the full effect.
I'll scream until the blood
fills my mouth and only red
words from my heart fall from
my tongue to this chalk-white
sidewalk

Cold, emotionless, you sit on the
throne of hearts with the queen
slain at your feet, and here I stand,
Alice lost in wonderland, a glass
floor built of lies cracking beneath
my feet

This has to be one of the best poems I have ever read. I'm speechless...