What's Best For Everyone

An idea I got from oneword.com. The word was domestic.

The cops were called that night

Neighbors said it was domestic abuse

She denies hitting him

He says she punched him hard

 

She yelled at the top of her lungs

He shied away, not wanting to hurt her

She raised her hand to him

He took the blow hard

 

His love for her never dyed

Even after the physical and metal abuse

Something in her seemed to snap

And his heart broke when he sent her away

 

Fifteen years they were together

Then one day she went crazy

Started hitting her kids

Then moved on to him

 

He cried with sorrow

Grieving his estranged wife

Told his children, mother is sick

But he knows they will never see her again

 

For he wouldn't allow them to get hurt

Didn't want them to feel sad

He would tell them of their mother

And the wonderful woman she used to be

Author's Note

Not edited at all. Tell me what to fix and make better please.

Reviews

[A.D. Wilson]

Wow! Very tragic and realistic. The only error I found was section 3- "His love for her never dyed" should be "died". Also, in section 5, it might look better to put Mother is sick in quotes. It would stand out better and it is something he is directly telling the children. Other than that, excellent poem.

[Blue Belle]

Powerful! It's interesting to see a women being the abusive one, not saying they can't, but most of the time we hear that it's the guy. Nice Job! Take Care! :)

[Hannah Paige]

Honestly, it's a bit bland. Everything is a little overly straightforward and doesn't leave any room for the reader's imagination or interpretation. This could have made a nice story, but as a poem, you could have shown more, told less.

I really liked the impact of the final line in the poem, though.

[alexlessah]

A very realistic write, great job.

[Stephanie Slayer]

Wonderful!

[Short.Nerd]

Very sad :(

[Marianne]

oh, this is sad, but written with a lot of heart.

[Jibey]

It has to be as it is... just expressing the sadness of it all...