The Valley of Bitter Water's

native american

None but me stand; waves of anger and sorrow flood my depths as I see the ground beneath me soaked in the souls of my people.  The bonfire blazes, I have laid out the drums and pipe to call the spirits, though I have not a kinsman to beat the drums or pass the pipe.  Great care will be given to send them to the stars.

 My heart and mind can hear both music and song as my feet begin the dance of death to send them on their journey. “Mother, father of days long lived receive these people of noble honor. Cradle my son and make him a man and give comfort to his mother.”

The wind whispers in my ear but will not tell me what destroyed this place. I know not what beast or devil laid waste to my people. Braves dead without a fight, maidens lifeless with no hope of a kiss and I away looking for a new place for us to live. Now my walk will be without life as I prepare to dance.

The memories of their faces line the circle. Heavy are their souls waiting for me to release them. I have taken great care to my costume every feather and bead in place. My dance follows the trail of the moon my heart is heavy as is my feet and with the rising of the sun I leave the valley of bitter waters.

Author's Note

will add more later

Reviews

[lee von cleef]

Read slow and see if you can incorporate the rhythm to the words that are blooming, drumming,a low vibration to rumble,to tighten a jaw line,a crow caw to bring us to the carrion, so we the readers can dance in your path.our tears smoke on the nights cool moon light.

[Cherrie Palmer]

I hope to add much more once my little helper catches the school bus :)

[Whitney Shaw]

I liked it, it was a very beautiful poem. and I liked the photo as well, it caught my eye.

[Earl Schumacker]

Hi Cherrie, Great Title. Great story. I enjoyed it immensely. Wow! It has all of the elements of the American Indian people. It is a little known fact that most of the people who lived here before us died from the diseases we brought here with us from other lands. You tuched on that subject niecly. Great story all around. Thanks! Earl

[Cherrie Palmer]

I seen the photo and the story just came from that. I wanted it to have a very historical sound

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Interesting read. You set the scene well and leave the reader to form their own conclusion as to whether this is a natural or man-made disaster. I plump for natural as the poignancy filters through the mystique of tribal folklore and we feel sad for this man.

[Cherrie Palmer]

I wanted to leave the cause of death a mystery. Either scenario happened bobbin history. I may pin it down in the future, but like you I liked the effect it gave the story.
I lived in Oklahoma most of my life (and have some Cherokee in my lineage)and have always been drawn to native american folklore.
Thank you for reviewing this one.

[Robert Trakofler]

I want to hear more ^ I liked this it begs for more I think you definitely did a bit of channel in these words they ring authentic. A strong spiritual cry for the losses come across and it does have a lulling cadence and intensity to its flow.... more please :)

[Cherrie Palmer]

There is a part two I haven't put them together yet. "Part Two of The Valley Of Bitter Waters /The Search.
The photo captured my imagination. I'm really glad to hear you liked it.

[Jimmy Yetts]

Profoundly perceptive and richly empathetic.
Caused this reader to feel as if something real were happening--had happened.
A compelling portrayal, gifted poetess!

[Cherrie Palmer]

Thank you, I found the picture and this just unfolded from there. I wrote a part 2 and I have part 3 dancing around in my head. I really need to set it down.

[emmajoy]

The history of your post is completely foreigh, unknown, to this ignorant Brit. However your phrasing has created an ancient atmosphere, not mythical but really quite real.. that phrase, ' .. Braves dead without a fight, maidens lifeless with no hope of a kiss and I away looking for a new place for us to live.. ' really touced emotions. I ought to study more, discover happenings outside my own history.. there's still time.. must choose when. Thank you so much, Cherrie, you've truly opened a book and let out its relevance in native history.

[Cherrie Palmer]

Thank you Emma
I finally did a part two to this story and have part 3 in my head (a dangerous place for a story to lurk)I've just got to put it on paper.
I love writing about Native Americans. I spent 42 years in Oklahoma, and I have always been infatuated with them. A few years ago I found out I a little Cherokee. Which is just fuel for my imagination.

[emmajoy]

Must look for and read the second part and really look forward to part 3!

[Cherrie Palmer]

I need to put them all together

[Lanny]

You've piqued my interest . . . This beginning is rich with promise through an ancient culture's beliefs, the wealth of their history brimming with emotion, all stirred with the ladle of heritage and traditional values.

Nicely done, and all the best,

Lanny

[Cherrie Palmer]

I found the picture and the idea just popped in my head.

[NotUsinganymore]

Very interesting poem. It was great and it had a good flow. I also like really the meaning of the poem!

[Coyote Poetry]

Powerful words shared dear Cherrie. The Sand Creek massacre is one of many. The book "Century of dishonor' by Helen Jackson told the truth. We must remember he past. For the past not to be repeated. Thank you for sharing your amazing words and thoughts.
Coyote

[roarke]

Definitely add more. Incredible words. Universal conscious mind, keep this piece alive.

[Cherrie Palmer]

Once I decide on his next backdrop I will add to this.

[Rebq10102]

It sounds like it would be a good book; however, it doesn't sound like a book I would be interested in (this has nothing to do with you). It is well written.

[Cherrie Palmer]

those can make the best reviews thank you

[Jip Martin]

Well written, but I needed much more.
Maybe manana,
Jip