Cascading Mist

Cascading Mist

A Story by Cherrie Palmer
"

what we see in the night

"



A soft drizzling rain is all that was left from a tumultuous storm that had just passed. Black upon black is all I could see. Sunrise was several hours away, in the distant sky, lightning fled across a lover’s moon. The moaning of the wind drew me to the dancing curtain. Shadowy limbs billowed and swayed. While heavy leaves remained silently in place.


 


 A twirling mist appeared on the rocks below. As those vapors reached slowly higher an ancient myth caused me to secure the window’s lock.  Air now still and free of rain allowed me to hear a cry in its place. I rushed to the door, now standing outside and saw flowing white lace from the corner of my eye.


 


My feet were in motion before my mind could think and like an eluding dream she was


just out of reach. Cascading lace traced with mist danced through air as I grew ever nearer.


Whispering trees answered her cries as I came to a stop and realized I was lost. The mist


 like a blanket held me tight and its silvery glow filled me with fright. I slowed my breathing to


catch my breath and woke in the morning fully at rest. I threw back my covers to rise from


my bed and stared with amazement to find a piece of lace in my hand.



© 2018 Cherrie Palmer



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Featured Review

i was drawn in with your V1 ...actually was such a cold kind of serenity i felt ...and i stayed on the edge between something pleasant and something scary to the end ... so well done ;) it felt a little anti-climactic with your closing lines ... perhaps i wanted to stay in that post storm pre-dawn longer ...stay wooed by the mist and lace :) "I through back my covers.." i think you mean throw back :)))
E.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 8 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Cherrie Palmer

8 Months Ago

yes, I did I don't always notice when my auto correct helps me, and thank you :)
Einstein Noodle

8 Months Ago

:) ...................
genocide

8 Months Ago

thanks for really being there for me cherrie and giving me support I really apperiate that you're a .. read more



Reviews

There's more than fantasy here.. a soft flow of happenings, gentle, beautiful.. spaced by pause.. i rather think, intentional in the style in which you've placed your phrases. Seemed tight to read this or that sentence, then close eyes and visualise. A second read.. a drift of words intended?

Posted 7 Months Ago


Cherrie Palmer

7 Months Ago

Thank you Emma, I wanted to have dreamy feel. Your visits mean so much.
emmajoy

7 Months Ago

It does have a dreamy feel.. sdrifting gently.. one should come to very very slowly after all that.... read more
very good story very good sentence structure

Posted 8 Months Ago


Cherrie Palmer

8 Months Ago

Thank you so much, I liked how this one turned out
I really like the pictures you paint with your descriptive word phrases: soft drizzling rain, ,tumultuous storm, shadowy limbs billowed and swayed. I too like describing the scenes where the action takes place.
A very interesting specter you introduce. I have one in "The Dance" posted here.

Take care - Dave

Posted 8 Months Ago


Cherrie Palmer

8 Months Ago

I cannot wait to read it.
You have a good idea here Cherrie. I like the dream like ambience of it and the twist at the end. I can see that you will pick up a few things with a careful read over. In the first line i think it should be 'from a'. I don't think the phrase 'Leaves well hydrated' sounds correct or is really needed. The main problem that stands out for me is the use of past and present tenses throughout. I hope that helps a bit.
It is really worth tidying up though.
regards,
Alan
Regards

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 8 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Cherrie Palmer

8 Months Ago

thank you Alan
i was drawn in with your V1 ...actually was such a cold kind of serenity i felt ...and i stayed on the edge between something pleasant and something scary to the end ... so well done ;) it felt a little anti-climactic with your closing lines ... perhaps i wanted to stay in that post storm pre-dawn longer ...stay wooed by the mist and lace :) "I through back my covers.." i think you mean throw back :)))
E.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 8 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Cherrie Palmer

8 Months Ago

yes, I did I don't always notice when my auto correct helps me, and thank you :)
Einstein Noodle

8 Months Ago

:) ...................
genocide

8 Months Ago

thanks for really being there for me cherrie and giving me support I really apperiate that you're a .. read more
This was pretty good, you used the word light too many times in first pg- shame on you lol

think you could get away with taking out light and just saying drizzling but what the hell do I know? What am I your editor?

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 8 Months Ago


Cherrie Palmer

8 Months Ago

i agree, i do not like using the same word in the same fragment. I'll have to dial it up a tad.

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6 Reviews
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Added on January 30, 2018
Last Updated on January 31, 2018
Tags: mist_veil_trees

Author

Cherrie Palmer
Cherrie Palmer

Bull Shoals Lake, AR



About
I am a published poet and love poetry. My husband and I live near the White River, and love trout fishing. I find my surroundings a great inspiration to me. I also have two books on Amazon Kindle: O.. more..

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