Behind closed blinds

this may not be very long, but it has meaning to it if you think about it...

It's dark, the black scares me. I'm frightened.

I feel trapped.

I hear a noise, sounds like a mouse, then a noise that makes me shiver.

I realize it's the wind making a branch scratch my window.

 

Now, it sounds like something is on my floor. I see its shadow, it's at my desk.

"AAAAAHHH!!!", now it's under my bed.

Its shadow is growing even bigger, now I'm even more scared.

 

It looks like a monster...

It's getting closer and closer, steadily growing, it's purple, has razor sharp teeth...

 

.....help.....

 

"AAAH!!", I scream. My mom just walked in.

 

"Honey, why is it so dark in here?", she asks.

 

"Uh, well, I-I," I can't finish my sentence

She notices the window.

 

"Oh, no wonder." She walks over and opens my blinds.

"Why are you hiding behind closed blinds? You know, people are gonna start getting suspicious of you one of these days."

She walks out of my room and shuts the door.

 

All alone.

Once, behind closed blinds.

Now, I see the world.

 

 

 

Author's Note

Tell me what you really think about this...I promise I won't care if you don't like it, or if you think I need to fix something about it..just tell me :)

Reviews

[Suditi]

Wow!
Such an interesting write.
One hell of a message. So powerful.
Superb. :)

[Malcolm J. Watt]

OK. This is interesting. The idea of the fears held behind closed blinds are illusions is good. Dramaticly told building suspense then introducing the external event to break the suspense and draw to a conclusion. That's good story telling. The language is economical not wordy. A new wrinkle on a theme most people have expirienced that adds a more complete understanding. Well done and worth remembering.

[Dusty Howell]

I like it, it's really good. I really like the ending line, "Now, I see the world"--perfect way to end it if you ask me. The only error that I caught when I first read it was this:
"I looks like a monster..."
You kind of left off the 't' in 'It'.

[I'm Just me:)]

AWESOME