Le Lever Du Soleil

Just a thought of my weird imagination...

I lay in the wet grass, eyes fixed on you

You lay facing me, your eyes fixed on mine.

My back to the rising sun, I let your eyes be mine.

Your side rises and falls with every breath; lovely.

The occasional blink reveals your violet eyelids; magnificent.

The darkness makes you hard to see, I wait.

The sun is barely peaking over the mountain's edge.

Your hands lies inches from mine,

And I long to reach for you.

"I love you", I whisper, fear shaking my voice.

Your fingertips brush mine tenderly,

Recognition, but no response.

The sunlight creeps across my body,

The heat creating awareness.

The grass blades between us catch the creeping light,

As it crawls swiftly up your face.

The sun illuminates your features, more beautiful.

Looking into your eyes once more, tears escape me.

The sun has risen within them, and it will set there as well.

Author's Note

Lines seem a bit long in certain places, but I couldn't find a good way to break them up. Suggestions?

Reviews

[FlawedByDesign]

Tres interessant :)
C'est la premiere fois que je lise un tel poeme. Une jolie histoire avec des tres belle images. C'est comme une symphonie en vers :)

Ne t'inquietes pas, les lignes ne sont pas trop longues.

Bien fait :)

[♍ Kirstin ♎]

This is really good and I like how you've put the title into French, as for separating out the longer lines maybe try splitting them where you've put in commas?

[Crowley]

Amazing images, wonderful writing, and a deep longing, this one may be my favorite. My, my, you do have it going on don't you. Nice job sweet.

[MarcZw]

Your hands lyes inches from mine…? Why ‘lyes’?

[Coyote Poetry]

Poem is like good music. The joy and peace of love in your words. You are are Poet. You can write a poem of love and happiness. I like the feel and the emotion of this poem. A outstanding poem.
Coyote