You Made Me A Thief

A poem for the "Tell Me Something, Love" contest...

I stole glances at the familiar man beside me

His legs crossed casually, hands in his lap.

His hair made loops across his eyes in the breeze

Eyes shining blue, dark, feathered lashes hiding them.

 

My eyes caressed the lines in his worn hands

Attempting to soften them with tender love.

Holding steady with the understanding in the blue

The gentility of it all creating a pounding in my chest.

 

I stole glances at the strange man beside me

Feet tapping rapidly, fingers playing imaginary drums.

The light from the lamp above bounced off his scalp

Eyes shining blue, dark, feathered lashes hiding them.

 

My eyes shut hard at the sight of his imaginary drums

Attempting to block them out of my broken ears.

Blocking out all thoughts of that vibrant blue

The imaginary familiarity I’d created making me sick.

 

My lips trembled in their struggle for words

The man gathering his briefcase, beginning to stand.

I shut my eyes; “I’m in love with the man my eyes make you”

This man staggered, turning to meet my watering eyes.

 

His leg pressed mine as he sat close beside me

Placing a hand over mine and an ear to my lips

Begging for an explanation the strange words I’d uttered

And I stole glances at the familiar man beside me.

Author's Note

Everyone is confused, so let me explain a bit...
The girl is sitting on a bench next to a stranger. She's looking at the man, and because of his blue eyes, she keeps seeing the man she loves instead. But she realizes it's just a stranger with the same blue eyes. But as the man leaves, she says "I'm in love with the man my eyes make you." Meaning that she sees the man she loves when she looks at him.

Reviews

[J.Black]

Blue eyes. I get this. It's a little confusing, but after explaining it a abit I can see it. I had a different view but it was way off- so I'll just keep it to myself witohut looking crazy! Hahah! You write wonderfully. I must say... very dream like!

[An owl on the moon]

This is simply beautiful and profound. Even without your explaination it is a stunning work of art, yet now I can certainly grasp the depth that much more. I can see it all play out so vividly in my mind. Wonderful write!

[Harley]

You amaze me, truly, you do. I loveeee the second to last stanza, it makes me melt because I can feel an echo of this girl's pain, and how hard it is to speak the words on her mind, as I so often am guilty of as well. Fantastic job, babe. :)

[Coyote Poetry]

I had to read the poem a few times. I read your Author's note and your story was understandable. This situation could cause a unusual reaction. I like these kind of poems. You made me think. A excellent poem.
Coyote

[Crowley]

This is like a dream...I don't totally get it, it is a little confusing, but definitely has a dream like quality. This is unlike anything esle you have written, I really like the feel and the flow. The toy drums part has me confused for sure. I have ead it three times and like it better each time, but if you get a chance you might have to help me out a little. Nice job sweet.

[Jenny Nelson]

“I’m in love with then man my eyes make you” That's a great line, although I assume you meant "the" instead of "then?" Likely very often true. An intersting concept.