Sorry child

This is about my childhood, memories that I have slivers of left.

 Winter is coming,
it's cool wind and sharp smell,
the numbing chill,
hot chocolate with fresh baked cookies.
I don't remember these things.

 Times as a child,
I recall hiding,
thinking I might catch Santa,
he never came and just like him,
memories elude me.

 All my life,
wishing only to shake that existence,
forget the panic that haunts dreams,
yet now I try to recall,
left feeling hollow my childhood escaped.

 I do see,
to why winter depresses me,
the long wait for presents,
this wasn't what brought a smile,
one day together without pain or fear.

 A fake tree,
false happiness we each wore,
this must be where expression was lost,
locked behind the closet door,
that child with no smile a child no more.

Author's Note

I don't write about my childhood, I find it hard enough to release some of the poems on this site already.

Reviews

[Marie Harrison]

A haunting write of childhood. Christmas and winter often bring back forgotten bad memories. Especially since cold weather brings us together inside more often. I love the open expression of self in this poem. It's a raw and painful write but beauty of truth being genuine is vivid.

[Angel Bird]

Sends chills up my spine. Deeply touching and terrifying images appear through your lines...my heart goes out to you and all the kids who have to endure such. Your words reach down way far beyond my skin.
Absolutely well written.

[Elwina]

Very touching write.
"I don't remember these things - memories elude me - my childhood escaped - one day together without pain or fear - that child with no smile a child no more"
The feeling of a childhood that never was is a hard wound to heal from. You've painted this feeling very well. I can very much relate.

[J.]

Almost Acrostic! It's feeling brings a tinge of sadness and regret perhaps. Helps one to try and recall their own childhood. However, memories would almost tell one this child's childhood may have been robbed.