my sin

Passing by I see you standing there.
Not knowing your thoughts.
Not knowing your wants.
Not knowing your heart's desire.

Your beauty is splendid.
From your head to your toes.
I cannot seem to find any imperfections.
I come to the same conclusion from every different angle you stand.

The way you look at me kills me.
It brightens my day.
It gives me hope.
It renews me.

I know that at that second time stops.
The only thing that matters is you and me.
Looking  at each other matters the most.

Drowning in those warm blue eyes.
I find myself wanting to kiss you.
Your lips are so red and so soft.
I want to taste them so bad.

let me get near you.
I want to smell your soft aroma.
I want you to hold me and know that you can be safe with me.
My strong arms giving you shelter.

let us take a walk through the streets of the city.
Not knowing what we are looking for.
Not caring what we will find.
Just walking with each others company.

Let me take you to a place where we can see the sun rise.
The previous night a gift of loyalty to you by me.
A night in which I discovered every part of you that tickles.
Every second is an eternity.

To find you by my side completely satisfied.
It is a reality if you come with me.
If you trust me.
If you like me.

Author's Note

please help me with my grammar errors. If you think I need to add something or if I'm missing something please let me know. All help will be appreciated.

Reviews

[MandaBear]

awww this is an awesome poem i wish any guy would say that to me! very good write:)

[brenda]

sweet and lovely !:)

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

Lovely - I like this write alot - telling, very telling of the hearts threads pulling upon a first meet...Nicely done! Thanks.
Light,
Siddartha

[Theresa]

Real raw honest emotion within this piece. You don't hold back your feelings which is what makes it so great. Nicely done.

[Scissorhandds4eva<3]

I love it... specifically " know that at that second time stops. The only thing that matters is you and me. Looking at each other matters the most." it sounds exaclty like this guy who likes meh... It's really sweet... I hope it worked out between yoo two.

[Bertie]

Its a perfectly adequate poem, it's just not to my personal taste.
For me there's no mystery, I know perhaps that is the style of the poem: raw and bare. But perhaps think on a different angle to approach it from, allow the reader to define it in their own terms.
But as I said a perfectly good write :)
x z x

[Buddhistboy73]

Ok, so I enjoyed this piece personally. Great emotions and words used to conjure up images of this potential romance. It feels like you are imagining it and what it would be like together which is a powerful visualisation tool too. Last two lines really won this piece for me....:)
Yeah, there are some typos, but they don't detract too much from the poem's message. watch the spelling of "worm" blue eyes....I presume it';s meant to be warm?

[Huggy Bear]

I love it alot:)

[Coyote Poetry]

Only mistake worm should be warm. A very good poem. Those desire and hope keep us alive and wishing. A excellent poem.
Coyote