A Sweet Surrender

A poem about a past love for a group challenge.

Your deviled eyes deceived me

From the corner of the room

I perceived the haughty smile full of malice

And I shivered from your cold, cold love

 

I turned and faced the wall behind me

My story written there

A novel of hopeful romance

Written with the blood of my broken heart

 

Lovely whispers of seduction penetrated my fate written there

Images of your lies reflected on my being, a truth I could not escape

A magnet of temptation swayed me into arms of promises

And into delicate rose petals that tickled my lips

 

I feel them now as I sit upon the comfy past

In the corner where our first love pronounced itself

The hazy heat of passion frozen in stone

With a description below in bold: A Sweet Surrender

 

As opposite as fire and snow

We grew in hate then love

 

Our hatred more my own at the façade of evil

He produced in that corner of the room

And I on the opposite a victim of his stare

Held prisoner not in fear but unknown passion and love

 

One day I ceded to the shadow of hateful passion

Of your being oppressed over mine

Instead of quaking in my corner

I stepped onto burning charcoal stones

 

A wave of refreshing passion spilled from your ice cold eyes

And cooled the way for me as I glided to your place

There I submissively bowed and involuntarily growled

As you kissed my neck, my eyes, then slowly my lips

 

Then my eyes sparkled, reflected in your own deep pools

The fire of passion"actual love"pouring itself and connecting us two

As waves we crashed together onto unexplored shores

Gently testing here and there but sweetly we surrendered

 

The stars, they sparkled bright that night,

While the man on the moon sung to our dance

Your lips and hands caressed me swaying to this song

And slowly I blended into you, I your heart and you my love

 

I feel you still now as I sit upon the comfy past

In the corner where our first love pronounced itself

The hazy heat of passion frozen in stone

With a description below in bold: A Sweet Surrender

Reviews

[Lorraine]

Your descriptions are enthralling. Every line held so much passion that it's hard not get sucked in with the fast-paced flow. I love the words "comfy past" because there's something adorably positive about this. Also, I love the way the you described "sweet surrender". Great Poem.

Keep Writing. ^___^

[Jeff Bresee]

That is just about right for me. I am not one to go much for the descriptions of love and romances (I'm too screwed up for that), but this write held me in. Nice work.

[Haifa]

It is really great poem, I shouldn't see it because I am under 18 but I accept your request. You did a good job on this poem, I like it. I like 2 lines for most
"A novel of hopeful romance
Written with the blood of my broken heart"
Those 2 lines have something great,.. the novel and was written with the blood of your broken heart they are so powerful lines. Well done, keep writing.
Haifa

[Constance-Outspoken]

This is creative and wonderful, a powerful way to use the title given. Beautiful piece!
"While the man in the moon sung to our dance.... swaying to this song" I loved those lines, and many others here, too. This left me with emotion. Bravo.

[Bette]

i love it , you did great on this