The Locked Door

The Locked Door

A Story by Christie Dupuis
"

A young girl name Cassie find's herself lost when her bestfriend Christopher dies. But something will bring them together again. When a lock door is unlocked.

"

Cassies was a ten year old girl who lived in one of the largest,and oldest houses in Twilightville.

 Everything in that town was dark. There wasn't a bit of color. A year ago her bestfriend,

Christopher, was found dead while going home from Cassie's house at 9:23 P.M.

After that day Cassie's whole world turned gray and upside down. She never talked again!

She was a child that only read and only walked around the house looking depressed.


"Cassie dear please eat your dinner. you love pea soup and bread. You will get sick and die if you don't eat anything."

A soft but low voice came out and said," Death is just a beginning."

Cassie got up from the dining table and walked slowly out of the dining room.

"What are we going to do with that girl?" spoke Mrs. Wind.


I go down to the cellar door to find some old books inside that i could read, but the cellar door was locked.
I pushed and pushed harder, but it would not budge. I gave up hope and walked back to the front door and walked into my room.
My papa walked into my room and started talking nonsense, but i was blocking him out, not knowing what he was saying.
Because the only thing i am thinking about is that locked door.
My Papa kisses me on the forehead and wishes me good night.
I love to read but not all that fantasy junk.
But this time i really thought that there was something next door and inside that i really needed to know about.

 The dark sky covered half the world right now, the time that Christopher died.
My eyes get warm like tears were hiding behind them, waiting to come out at just the right time. I get up from my old crackled bed, i throw open my window and slide through it.
I ran to the back of my house and i found a old firty key on my way there.
it had the letters C.C on it.

 The cellar door felt cold like ice and smelled like ruse and like something had died in there.

I put the key into the key slot hoping maybe that it would work. Slowly i look at the time on my watch, it's 9:23pm,
the door opens when i turn the key. A big wind comes from inside. The door slams shut! i was going to go try to open it, but the door disappeared and something caught my eye.
A graveyard stone. I walked closer to it, trying to read the fine print on it. it said,   here lies Christopher Pellerier always loved and missed.
Tears come running down my eyes, drops of tears landed on my knees.
The fog started to clear and there is only this one stone in this graveyaed.
I wasn't scared being here, because my house is just like this, it smells funny and is dark to.
I laid on the damp grass and it smelled like  how wet grass should. when it just rain.
I put my hands around Christopher' stone. it felt like i was in another world full of sadness and the sky was as black as a onxy.

Two hours later i woke up to a hand on my shoulder, a blue-eyed and blond hair boy, my age, i will say.  Christopher? I run to him and jump into his arms. But i just go right through him. Why can't i hug you? i spoke with a tear coming down from one of my eyes. I sat there and asked him so many questions about how he died and stuff.
He simply replied, it's just life.

He  put his head down and i asked him what's wrong. He said, forget me! My mouth dropped and everything wen silent for two minutes. I yelled, no! i found you and i ain't losing you again. He smiled and said goodbye. And before he left i whisper bye. Till that very day i knew  i'll had changed, the one thing that i wanted was to say goodbye, and i got my wish. So i talked and ate my food, i was much happier. My mama and papa made a big smile and the world was a bit more colorful after that day. Who knew saying goodbye could mean so much. Every night I feel something holding my hand, but i knew it was Christopher. So i just smiled and fell fast asleep.

© 2011 Christie Dupuis


Author's Note

Christie Dupuis
And please leave your a comment It would be nice if you did. But don't let it be bad. Rate 1 to 10 When you put a comment it doesn't have to be long. Okay so i might of messed up a little to. So don't be a hater and if you don't get the plot like what is going on just ask me. And by the way My story is giveing you hints so read slowly and you get it. Thank you have a great day. :)

My Review

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Featured Review

Hello there. Just a few quick comments. It would be a better story if instead of telling the reader everything about your character in the beginning in such a direct way, you should gradually show who she is through dialogue or images. Use scenes to show us her past and how it has shaped her. also you changed the POV. First it is in third person then it is in first person. I guess the quality and the score I give would depend on your age because it could use a lot of development, but if you are younger then you're going in a good direction.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Christie Dupuis

4 Years Ago

I wrote this when I was in 6th grade. I'm 17 now..



Reviews

So tell me something, was this a writing for fun or did you imagine it as real? I could tell that you really have a good imagination and when I started writing I would write stories with great ideas like these. I think you have a very creative mind and that you hold much potential in writing. I believe you need the right push from someone and if you ever need it then you can always ask me, I am not a good writer, no, dont think that, but I do have a very magical imagination and I see that you have it as well. Ill be reading more from you.

Posted 3 Years Ago


Christie Dupuis

3 Years Ago

Thank you that means alot.
wonderful story.

I have to agree with Adriana, though. Slowly introduce us to Cassie.

other than that, loved it.

Posted 4 Years Ago


Enjoyed the read and interesting story...

Posted 4 Years Ago


A really good story and great creativity.

Posted 6 Years Ago


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Nix
Great job! I liked the plot! But there is some room for improvement. First, I would review your writing before submitting it and check for grammar mistakes because I did find a few. Second, I would try replacing some of the language in your writing for something a little more descriptive. I saw multiple cases in which you could have used a different word to describe something. It also gives your readers the sense that your writing is more complicated and intelligent. Third, I would give fewer hints throughout your story. But It sucked me in and kept me reading until the end!

Posted 6 Years Ago


Christie Dupuis

6 Years Ago

I made this when i was like 12 im 15 now so lol
Nice creativity.
Il give you 7 out of 10.

Posted 6 Years Ago


The plot is quite good, you clearly like mysteries and the gothic style, but there are a few grammatical errors which should be fixed up.
The first paragraph in third person seems a bit random. Maybe to make it flow better put the third person start in italics, or finish off the story in third person such as "Cassie never understood how much a good-bye could mean until that night. When the sun set and she turned off the light to sleep she could feel a hand clasping her own. Cassie knew this was Christopher so she simply smiled and fell asleep."
Keep up the writing and it will improve :)

Posted 7 Years Ago


I think this story is great just the way it is. Losing a loved one is like that an awful lot--you'd give anything for maybe ten minutes to say goodbye, and then you can move on with life and smile again. I also really appreciate the element of the locked door too--reminds me of Death, and how you can't cross the Mortal Threshold until your appointed Time, no matter how hard you try and how badly you want it. In time, you do learn to smile again, but it takes years. This story was really profound to me on many levels (mainly, I think, because I've lost too many loved ones). Beautiful writing--thanks for sharing it. :)

Posted 7 Years Ago


I like the story as is. Allowing the real life feel of the story to open the story. I like the description and the history given in this story. Could expand to a longer story. A lot of mystery was left open in the tale. I like the positive ending to the story. Thank you for sharing the excellent story.
Coyote

Posted 7 Years Ago


This is a really good story, i loved the ending, i don't think you messed up at all. 8.9

Posted 7 Years Ago



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18 Reviews
Added on November 9, 2011
Last Updated on November 22, 2011