freedom

Swirling, spinning thoughts collide

 

Coincide with my everyday

 

As I scream and dream

 

Of a tomorrow where

 

Lies and envy can’t control me

 

Deceive me and kick me

 

When I’m down and out,

 

Lost in the shuffle of life

 

Passing me by while

 

I’m stuck on this merry-go-round.

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Robert Luna]

I feel this most days and strive to survive to see my chance to escape the normality of everyday life. Find a passage to a secret place in which my imagination holds no bounds to all I can be. I love the way that we all can relate to having these feelings and understand them to the core of our beings.


Great Job!!!!!!!

[Emily B]

We are the Creators of our existence. Every day we choose to Be what we are. You will find that place. I'm absolutely certain of it.

[Adela Muresan]

I like your exression of a desire to escape torment, knowing that a dream is the only solution.

Good write.

A.M.

[Donald Meikle]

But it's so easy not getting dizzy just concentrate on all those exposed backs and work forward or is it around?

[Sparrow]

The merry go round was a perfect touch. It ties together. Good job.

[zig]

i like this, and can certainly relate. i like the flow, very controled and consisitant. however, i found it to be a little too general. i think some more details woild really make this poem stronger, more information into the cause, or even the reaction, would give my mind more to chew on, and also bring out the "identify" or voice of the speaker. thank you for sharing this with me, i enjoyed the read. zig

[TL Boehm]

ah the merry go round....I'm often flung from it. well done poetry here.

[Siobhan MacIntyre]

Oh yeah. Fantastic job of describing life in a corporation. Backstabbers, ladderclimbers, and people who mess with your head. Yup yup.

[Jason]

i got dizzy!
good write.
jason

[bluessadmood]

its so nice to dream of a tomorrow,where we can live without being forced to act the way life wants us to ...lies, envy ,its a very nice dream dear ,i wish i could get that tomorrow,and be free