Dear Vauxhall ~ Part 1 | WritersCafe.org | The Online Writing Community
Dear Vauxhall ~ Part 1

Dear Vauxhall ~ Part 1

A Story by ckane
"

Inspired by a multitude of engine problems mixed with the emotional influence of the full moon. This is my letter to Vauxhall.

"
Dear Vauxhall

This is a complaint, and I can imagine that you receive an extraordinary amount of complaints so prepare yourself and remember I'm not blaming you. I am blaming whoever was the ceo of vauxhall in 2007. I am a 25 year old female driving a 1.3 diesel astra life.....more like no life because you end up spending every penny your earn on the thing. I don't "drive the shite" out of it, never have, I wouldn't waste precious diesel like that. I have a few points of complaint about this model I hope you find useful and maybe you could pass it on to the idiots who design these pieces of s**t.
Ok.!

1. It's a piece of s**t.
2. NO CUP HOLDERS!!!!!!!
3. The electrics are an absolute abomination.
4. The back passenger door unlocks the whole car when trying to get in when it's meant to be locked.
5. What in all that is holy is a steering rack?? Why do I need one?? Oh yes, because the car is a piece of s**t.!
6. Has the ceo got small, fairy like hands.?? Because have you tried putting power steering fluid into its container??? Obviously he hasn't.. Well my god.!
7. Really thrilling when you stop at a toll bridge and the whole car and engine just shuts off, and comes back on. Thanks for the scare but at the same time I've a tonne of ice cream from aldi melting in the boot (not literally a tonne, maybe half a tonne!)
8. NO CUP HOLDERS....ANYWHERE! = NO COFFEE = NO HAPPY.
9. FAIRY HANDS.!!
10. Your built in stereo won't save 'xmas fm'.
11. The acoustics!!! My son trying to tell me about that little bollox in first class bullying him and all I can hear is the hum of the whole car. 'Sorry sweetie, what? I can't hear you in this car?' 'Ugh, never mind mom'....childhood = ruined!
12. NO AIR CON......I realise I am in Ireland and the need for this is unlikely but at least twice a year it is essential.!!.

I have to point out some good factors though

1. Its easy on diesel.
2. The tax is payable.
3. Looks pretty.

2007 was the height of the European boom so there is no excuse apart from greed for the shoddy car parts and lack of beverage holders.

And please realise, this message isn't directed at you , the person who has the unfortunate job of reading my complaint, but maybe, if you could be so kind as to forward it on to the big man himself for me, it would make my year. Does he even drive a vauxhall.?? Only if it's free with the job of course.!

Yours whingely
Ckane.

© 2016 ckane



Author's Note

ckane
I was mad!

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Sounds like you didn't know that Vauxhall are doing a recall on steering problems, (not that they advertised the fact.) A friend of mine has a 2005 Vauxhall Meriva that developed a serious steering fault, the power steering would suddenly stop working and on several occasions she nearly lost control of the car. She and her dad went to the local Vauxhall dealer and after much complaining got the whole job done free of charge.

Love the whinge!

Beccy.


Posted 1 Year Ago


Sharp wit. I would hate to be on the receiving end of that. I wish I could be as verbose with my anger. I tend to hold it in until it passes: raised with Creole manners, I suppose.

Since you're already mad, gas in LA is $1.45 a gallon. Just thought I'd rub that in.

Posted 2 Years Ago


ckane

2 Years Ago

I was at my whits end with this car. The news of a new steering rack got me mad then the price of it.. read more
ckane

2 Years Ago

Oh and diesel is it it's cheapest in years...€1.07 a litre..what is life.!
Ha, love it. I hope you posted it to them. I do that all the time, just to vent. a few times I've even received freebies, but as yet, not a car sized one. Let me know if you ever post it and receive a reply, maybe it could be a part two to this.
Excellent, loved it. fun and humorous, with just the right amount of sarcasm to let off that steam. :)

Posted 2 Years Ago


ckane

2 Years Ago

Thank you. And yes I did indeed send it to them, through email though which seems to be a less perso.. read more
alifeacoustic

2 Years Ago

Well I wish you safe(ish) driving then. Always good to know what cars to avoid :)

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Added on February 17, 2016
Last Updated on February 17, 2016
Tags: Short story, email, complaint, car, humor, funny, horror, quick read, nonsense, letter

Author

ckane
ckane

Ireland



About
I enjoy writing but feel life gets in the way I lose some of my creativity. So instead I write a series of emails, reviews and short stories to keep the positive and creative flow, well, flowing! more..

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