To use or not

My fight with staying sober.

To stay sober means feeling
To use means feeling numb
That would mean no healing
And then I could just succumb 
To the crave that burns inside
Or fight it with all I'm worth
And let the pain be implied 
Living in hell on earth
Death would be the end 
No matter what choice I make
I could try to pretend 
That I see what's at stake
I'm miserable regardless 
I'm doomed for pain
Marching in the darkness
Slowly going insane

Author's Note

Let me know what you think.