Mortality

Mortality

A Story by Clifford

She couldn't believe how young she used to be. How carefree, how reckless. She never knew the value of life until she saw it disappear right before her eyes. Then it hit her. That's when she realized how fragile, small, and insignificant she was. Just like that girl from that crash, Laura could simply vanish at any given moment. She should have died. If she hadn't been cut off in traffic she would have taken that little girl's place. She wasn't special or safe. No one was.
The thought haunted her. It kept her awake at night. It plagued her nightmares and filled her every waking thought. There was no escape. Not from her thoughts. Not from death. That much she knew for certain. But what she feared the most was the unknown. Death was certain, but not what comes next. Heaven? Reincarnation? Nothing?
In time, she tried to learn more. Maybe if she found an answer, she could find some peace. Before she even began, some part of her knew it was futile, but she had to try. In not time at all, she felt overwhelmed. There were countless religions, and countless factions of each one. If millions of people who believed in the same deities couldn't agree on what happened after death, how was she supposed to know where to start? She just wanted something. Even the concept of Hell was more comforting than nothingness, an eternal void.
As time dragged on, the fear gnawed at her until it was unbearable. If she had to face it one day and her whole life would be pointless, why should she wait, living in perpetual fear. If she was even "living" at that point. Just like ripping off a Band-Aid, it was better to get it over with. Fast and painless.
She dreaded having to make her family grieve, but they would understand. Family always did. That's what she told herself, at least. She would tell herself anything if it meant finally giving herself relief.
When she finally felt the time was right, when she was absolutely sure there was no hope, she went to the cliff behind her house. She loved the view. From way up here, looking down at the ocean below, her problems always seemed so small, so insignificant. Only now did she realize how true that was.
She tied a rope around a tree and put the other end around her neck. It was loose now but served as a reminder of what was to come.
Some people might call her a coward, but she knew otherwise. It took all the bravery she could muster to do this.
Closing her eyes, she felt the gentle breeze blowing through her hair. Tasted the salt in the air. Heard the waves breaking against the rocks. A single tear rolled down her face.
She opened her eyes and walked to the edge.
It was now or never.

© 2017 Clifford



Author's Note

Clifford
The third installment in the Laura series. This is a bit autobiographical but has fictitious elements. For the final entry, see my poem "Leap of Faith". The first two are "A Night She Couldn't Forget"and "Hiding Behind a Smile".

I welcome any and all feedback.

My Review

Would you like to review this Story?
Login | Register




Featured Review

Sorry I have not been following this storyline . . . I've been kinda hit-and-miss on this website in recent months. Trying to stay plugged in again for awhile now that the weather is cooling off & daylight hours are waning. So . . . back to your piece . . . this is one of the best things I've read about suicide. Sometimes this topic is done in an overly dramatic way, but yours has the right balance between drama & matter-of-fact. Having been suicidal much of my life, I can say that the IDEA of it can be helpful as we cope with life. Your descriptions of searching for meaning in life reminds me of a cousin that was always trying to find a "religion" that helped him find meaning. I think my life has been more satisfying becuz I stopped trying to find meaning & just started living in the moment. I love the way your piece ends, simply stated, open-ended, nice details (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

When I saw your byline question about Halloween stories, this made me want to come up with one . . . I love Halloween writing & I'm kinda late in getting my gears rolling for it! *smile*

Posted 2 Days Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Clifford

2 Days Ago

As far as I can tell, no one has been following this storyline, which is fine. The reason I didn't l.. read more



Reviews

Sorry I have not been following this storyline . . . I've been kinda hit-and-miss on this website in recent months. Trying to stay plugged in again for awhile now that the weather is cooling off & daylight hours are waning. So . . . back to your piece . . . this is one of the best things I've read about suicide. Sometimes this topic is done in an overly dramatic way, but yours has the right balance between drama & matter-of-fact. Having been suicidal much of my life, I can say that the IDEA of it can be helpful as we cope with life. Your descriptions of searching for meaning in life reminds me of a cousin that was always trying to find a "religion" that helped him find meaning. I think my life has been more satisfying becuz I stopped trying to find meaning & just started living in the moment. I love the way your piece ends, simply stated, open-ended, nice details (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

When I saw your byline question about Halloween stories, this made me want to come up with one . . . I love Halloween writing & I'm kinda late in getting my gears rolling for it! *smile*

Posted 2 Days Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Clifford

2 Days Ago

As far as I can tell, no one has been following this storyline, which is fine. The reason I didn't l.. read more

Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

65 Views
1 Review
Rating
Added on July 14, 2017
Last Updated on July 14, 2017

Author

Clifford
Clifford

MN



About
Welcome to my page. I tend to forget about read requests, but if you read something of mine, I will do my best to return the favor. I started writing when I was twelve. In the years since, I've.. more..

Writing
Multiverse Multiverse

A Book by Clifford


Time Time

A Poem by Clifford





WHAT AM I?: Nephilim WHAT AM I?: Nephilim
A teen boy gets killed, but trades his soul for another chance. He changes. A girl notices the new boy with silver eyes.