Jester on the Roof

Jester on the Roof

A Story by Clifford

Sitting on the roof, he watched the sun dip below the treeline. This sunset seemed metaphorical to him. As the day was ending, so was an era. The king was deathly ill, and his son lay buried, his mangled body still warm. The jester's lips twitched and a tear rolled down his face. He buried his face in his hands, his shoulders shaking. Nearly a minute passed, his strained gasps growing louder and louder, before finally he threw his head back and let loose rapturous laughter. The sounds of his mirth echoed through the sleeping village. He wiped tears from his eyes, leaving behind a crimson smear.

© 2017 Clifford



Author's Note

Clifford
I'm experimenting with flash fiction. Trying to tell a story in few words, letting the reader fill in the blanks. Let me know what you think. I welcome any feedback.

Awarded the "Freaking Amazing" award by Andronicus

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Featured Review

Did you mean, 'mangled' instead of 'manged'?
Just an observation.
I have never wrote flash fiction before. The shortest story I have ever written was 5 pages.
My introduction prologue to my fantasy story could be considered 'flash fantasy' at only 3 pages, but I never even considered it.
Anyway, I enjoy your writing, Clifford, and thank you for gracing others with your work and showing them examples of how to write and keep people's attention.
Score does not reflect the work by any means. It's simply how much I rated it.
Keep them coming :)

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Novel Minded_75

5 Months Ago

No, nothing in particular, Clifford. Just a score of numbers.
Clifford

5 Months Ago

I'm sorry; I didn't word my response very well. I wasn't asking about the score. I was asking indepe.. read more
Novel Minded_75

5 Months Ago

I was caught off guard at first but the gasping that turned to rapturous laughter, but once I read i.. read more



Reviews

An easy to read flash piece but yet it took me a little time to work it out. Once I did - Clever, very clever. I won't spoil it for other readers though. The clues are then and cryptically well done. As usual Clifford, I enjoyed your work. Please do write another one like this.

Mark.

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

matrixmark

3 Weeks Ago

Thank you for thanking me. Time: I only wish there was more of it in the day to get more things don.. read more
Clifford

3 Weeks Ago

I hear you. Where does it all go?
matrixmark

3 Weeks Ago

Tell me about it!

Mark.
I love how much is said by implications instead of by being directly stated. The jester's wickedness is very powerful when the full story is understood. The jester killed the king's son, but did the jester do anything to the king? Was the king poisoned, or was it just "fortunate" timing for the jester?

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Clifford

1 Month Ago

Thanks, Hannah! This story is intentionally vague, and there's no "right" answer, but I had it in my.. read more
The Jester, like the Clown, hide behind that mask.
But you never really know what goes on in that mind.
The laughter is really hiding a deathly deed.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Clifford

1 Month Ago

Very well stated, Paul. Thank you for your comment.
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Zoe
Wicked! So much said in so less words. Very well done!

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Clifford

2 Months Ago

Thank you very much, Zoe. I appreciate it.
Zoe

2 Months Ago

No problem
Imagery you portrayed is so well and palpable in this story.
I think your attempt in flash fiction is really noteworthy.
Also a second reading helped me to feel the magnitude of emotions you portrayed through such few lines.
Great story!

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Clifford

2 Months Ago

Thank you very much, Neetha. Glad you enjoyed.
I think this works very well. I think the ill king would be very happy with his jester sending mirth through the sleeping village, even though his son was dead. I like the similarity between the sunset, and the crimson smear. Well done.

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Clifford

3 Months Ago

This story is pretty cryptic, but I was trying to imply that the jester was the one who killed the k.. read more
Great Aunt Astri

3 Months Ago

Oh, it is so easy to misinterpret poems. I thought the crimson smear was the sunset reflecting on h.. read more
Clifford,
Excellent story using flash fiction. Your imagery and show of emotion carried your story. Even though the story presents questions of detail, you give enough info to let the reader understand the background. You are a natural at this genre.
Peace,
Richie b.

Posted 4 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Clifford

4 Months Ago

Richie! It's great to see you. And thank you very much for your kind review.
THIS IS AWESOME! I was completely carried away as I read. At first I was very much entranced by your vivid & uninhibited imagery. Then I felt like laughing when gasping turned to mirth, nicely gradual transforming moment, & a second later I remembered this was the jester, so of course. It all makes perfect sense. Plus it's a great allegory with the lesson of turning sorrows into laughter. You packed so much into this, which is the point of such a short piece. It feels very complete.

Posted 4 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Clifford

4 Months Ago

Thank you very much. I'm really surprised at the reception this piece is getting. I thought it might.. read more
I didn't write that very well, but hospital coffee is designed to generate heartburn and blurry vision...I did get the story. I reread with and immediately saw that you created a piece of Flash Fiction that is firstly - waaaay less than 500 words, extremely hard to do. And you did it well. Write more Flash, you've already mastered it.

Posted 4 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Clifford

4 Months Ago

Thank you for your flattering review. I hope your surgery went well.
Carol Cashes

4 Months Ago

My husband underwent a five hour surgery on Friday: the surgeon put titanium rods and pins in his s.. read more
Clifford

4 Months Ago

I know being in a hospital can be a stressful time. I've only been there an extended time as a patie.. read more
I am a super fan of Flash Fiction and have tried my hand at it several times. Descriptions are excellent, but maybe more about why the jester would cry then laugh? Did he mangle the son? Did he poison the king? Am I too fog-headed from sitting around a hospital for two days? More likely the latter, Clifford. I liked the set up and again, your descriptive powers are excellent.

Posted 4 Months Ago



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Added on July 18, 2017
Last Updated on October 19, 2017

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Clifford
Clifford

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