Jester on the Roof

Jester on the Roof

A Story by Clifford

Sitting on the roof, he watched the sun dip below the treeline. This sunset seemed metaphorical to him. As the day was ending, so was an era. The king was deathly ill, and his son lay buried, his mangled body still warm. The jester's lips twitched and a tear rolled down his face. He buried his face in his hands, his shoulders shaking. Nearly a minute passed, his strained gasping noises growing louder and louder, before finally he threw his head back and let loose rapturous laughter. The sounds of his mirth echoed through the sleeping village. He wiped tears from his eyes, leaving behind a crimson smear.

© 2017 Clifford



Author's Note

Clifford
I'm experimenting with flash fiction. Trying to tell a story in few words, letting the reader fill in the blanks. Let me know what you think. I welcome any feedback.

Awarded the "Freaking Awesome" award by Andronicus

My Review

Would you like to review this Story?
Login | Register




Featured Review

Did you mean, 'mangled' instead of 'manged'?
Just an observation.
I have never wrote flash fiction before. The shortest story I have ever written was 5 pages.
My introduction prologue to my fantasy story could be considered 'flash fantasy' at only 3 pages, but I never even considered it.
Anyway, I enjoy your writing, Clifford, and thank you for gracing others with your work and showing them examples of how to write and keep people's attention.
Score does not reflect the work by any means. It's simply how much I rated it.
Keep them coming :)

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Novel Minded_75

3 Months Ago

No, nothing in particular, Clifford. Just a score of numbers.
Clifford

3 Months Ago

I'm sorry; I didn't word my response very well. I wasn't asking about the score. I was asking indepe.. read more
Novel Minded_75

3 Months Ago

I was caught off guard at first but the gasping that turned to rapturous laughter, but once I read i.. read more



Reviews

[send message][befriend] Subscribe
Zoe
Wicked! So much said in so less words. Very well done!

Posted 2 Days Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Clifford

2 Days Ago

Thank you very much, Zoe. I appreciate it.
Zoe

2 Days Ago

No problem
Imagery you portrayed is so well and palpable in this story.
I think your attempt in flash fiction is really noteworthy.
Also a second reading helped me to feel the magnitude of emotions you portrayed through such few lines.
Great story!

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Clifford

1 Week Ago

Thank you very much, Neetha. Glad you enjoyed.
I think this works very well. I think the ill king would be very happy with his jester sending mirth through the sleeping village, even though his son was dead. I like the similarity between the sunset, and the crimson smear. Well done.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Clifford

1 Month Ago

This story is pretty cryptic, but I was trying to imply that the jester was the one who killed the k.. read more
Great Aunt Astri

1 Month Ago

Oh, it is so easy to misinterpret poems. I thought the crimson smear was the sunset reflecting on h.. read more
Clifford,
Excellent story using flash fiction. Your imagery and show of emotion carried your story. Even though the story presents questions of detail, you give enough info to let the reader understand the background. You are a natural at this genre.
Peace,
Richie b.

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Clifford

2 Months Ago

Richie! It's great to see you. And thank you very much for your kind review.
THIS IS AWESOME! I was completely carried away as I read. At first I was very much entranced by your vivid & uninhibited imagery. Then I felt like laughing when gasping turned to mirth, nicely gradual transforming moment, & a second later I remembered this was the jester, so of course. It all makes perfect sense. Plus it's a great allegory with the lesson of turning sorrows into laughter. You packed so much into this, which is the point of such a short piece. It feels very complete.

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Clifford

2 Months Ago

Thank you very much. I'm really surprised at the reception this piece is getting. I thought it might.. read more
I didn't write that very well, but hospital coffee is designed to generate heartburn and blurry vision...I did get the story. I reread with and immediately saw that you created a piece of Flash Fiction that is firstly - waaaay less than 500 words, extremely hard to do. And you did it well. Write more Flash, you've already mastered it.

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Clifford

2 Months Ago

Thank you for your flattering review. I hope your surgery went well.
Carol Cashes

2 Months Ago

My husband underwent a five hour surgery on Friday: the surgeon put titanium rods and pins in his s.. read more
Clifford

2 Months Ago

I know being in a hospital can be a stressful time. I've only been there an extended time as a patie.. read more
I am a super fan of Flash Fiction and have tried my hand at it several times. Descriptions are excellent, but maybe more about why the jester would cry then laugh? Did he mangle the son? Did he poison the king? Am I too fog-headed from sitting around a hospital for two days? More likely the latter, Clifford. I liked the set up and again, your descriptive powers are excellent.

Posted 2 Months Ago


Aha! The demented laugh of a cunning killer!

Fitting though isn't it? Made to be a fool and the butt of all of the courts jokes for so long, this jester has reached his peak of patience. And what a last laugh he has!

Flash fiction.....that's a new term to me, but i see your point behind it. And i have to say it works brilliantly here. Short, sharp and crisp with a fantastic ending.

Brilliantly conceived, Clifford. Very well done!

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Clifford

2 Months Ago

Yes! That is exactly what I was going for! The jester was ridiculed for so long until he couldn't ta.. read more
This! Now this is the best I've read lately by far. Absolutely. spot. on. Brilliant Clifford!! I read this as soon as you posted it but didnt get to reviewing til now. Needless to say, it's been swirling in my mind ever since you took me for a short but INTENSE ride. You super got me with that twist. And then you leave us with no doubt at the end with those last five words. Ohmygoodness I can't think of enough good things to say about this one Clifford. It's freaking amazing. I hereby award it the Freaking Amazing award. That twist! That everything!!!!!! Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrghghghhgghgh!!!!

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Clifford

2 Months Ago

Thank you very much! I'm thrilled that twist seemed fitting to you. After writing this story, I figu.. read more
Did you mean, 'mangled' instead of 'manged'?
Just an observation.
I have never wrote flash fiction before. The shortest story I have ever written was 5 pages.
My introduction prologue to my fantasy story could be considered 'flash fantasy' at only 3 pages, but I never even considered it.
Anyway, I enjoy your writing, Clifford, and thank you for gracing others with your work and showing them examples of how to write and keep people's attention.
Score does not reflect the work by any means. It's simply how much I rated it.
Keep them coming :)

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Novel Minded_75

3 Months Ago

No, nothing in particular, Clifford. Just a score of numbers.
Clifford

3 Months Ago

I'm sorry; I didn't word my response very well. I wasn't asking about the score. I was asking indepe.. read more
Novel Minded_75

3 Months Ago

I was caught off guard at first but the gasping that turned to rapturous laughter, but once I read i.. read more

Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

334 Views
10 Reviews
Rating
Added on July 18, 2017
Last Updated on October 14, 2017

Author

Clifford
Clifford

MN



About
Welcome to my page. I tend to forget about read requests, but if you read something of mine, I will do my best to return the favor. I started writing when I was twelve. In the years since, I've.. more..

Writing
Multiverse Multiverse

A Book by Clifford


Time Time

A Poem by Clifford



Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


Who are you? Who are you?

A Story by Rassoul


Photograph.... Photograph....

A Poem by Surya