~Untitled III

This trilogy marks how I felt after I had first been kissed properly by a boy. I was 17. Part three.

He has robbed me of something,

Something I'll never get back.

How am I supposed to feel? Tell me that.

On different numbers he bugs my phone,

Why, oh WHY won't he leave me alone?

Of course he doesn't understand how it feels inside-

The memory won't remain like a face in the sand;

That night has all ready curled up and died.

 

~

"What a wicked game you play
To make me feel this way...
What a wicked thing to say,
You've never felt this way."

 

~

I wasn't angry at you before

But now the tables have turned;
I don't want from you anything more,
You've already left me trademarked,

   scarred,

                                       burned.

 

 

Burnt.

 

I must be strong,
Won't give in,
Can't go wrong,
Can't let you win.

 

Time to close the chapter; leave it to rest,
I'm bored of you now; passed that test.

 

Author's Note

On this final note, I feel the poetry comes into play; now the characters know she has been cheated and how she's going to move on from being so naive.

Reviews

[Angel's Lady]

That night has all ready curled up and died. -- I love this line!
Nicely done, Ali. Glad to see you moved on. There is a saying that I have always remembered:
"Hate is like acid...it destroys the vessel in which it is stored, as well as the object on which it is poured."
So I'm very glad that you moved on, without hating.
Great trilogy!

[R J Askew]

He has robbed me of something ... is dramatic and interesting. 'Tell...' is nice verb, engages. Really like: 'That night has already curled up and died' ... can see the poor lamb expiring. Like the way the chorus-like bit of rhyme chymes in. Can hear a second voice or voices reciting that and the subsequent four lines lower down. That wld be effective. Like the way the poem visually fragments also.

[[untitled]]

I haven't read the first two parts, so I can't comment on them, but this I enjoyed.

I remember my first kiss: it was like heaven ... then hell, when the girl dumped me. So I can relate to this verse.

Good flow, good use of language. I look forward to reading more soon!