Prototype

Originally dated; May 2005 And also the oldest piece of literature I have kept.

You spoon us Saturday morning spoonfuls of maggots
And you sit us infront of your TV.

The programmes we watch make us
These mechanical animals, systematic.

We follow you like dogs
Animals without a home.

Deception's the curse that overpowers us.

Their lungs laid out on the table
And our lives worthless.

We are victims of your growing world
And we will grow to hate you.

Author's Note

At the time of writing this I was 15 and heavily into Marilyn Manson; this is heavily influenced by him.

Reviews

[Nathan Bernard]

Before reading the authors note, I already was thinking of Manson (The mechanical animals reference). I enjoyed the poem. A personal opinion I feel it could be even more effective with a few less words. For example the spoonfuls of maggots gives a definite image, if it were spoonfuls of... It would leave it more open for interpretation, the idea that its not even clear what "they" are trying to get across to the viewer (which is why it is so destructive in the first place). This is my first review so I am not too sure if I am doing this correctly. My favorite stanza is we follow you like dogs, Animals without a home : )

[Shauna Jacqueline Anderson]

Perfect review. Thankyou, I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'll definately take on board your advice on future pieces but this one's going to stay as it is, just because it's already 6yrs old.. Thanks again.

[Cole Hayley]

I love it. I really really do. Its so anti-commercialism and so very deep. I really do love this, espically the line "The programmes we watch make us, these mechanical animals, systematic". Amazing line. well done :)

[Shauna Jacqueline Anderson]

Thankyou. I love getting good reviews for this piece because it's one of the first poems I wrote with a genuine meaning so it's also quite sentimental. Isn't amazing what some fifteen year olds can do in Math's.. xD
Thanks again.