UNTITLED T

Street Prose

 

Untitled T

 

Butterflies lead the revolt.

While the moths stood by with their hands in pocket.

Cats and mice are on the same team.

As the dogs plot to divide them.

Why do I stutter when I speak a word with Vs?

A young man walks with old mans shoes.

While middle aged women play bingo with cards from younger days.

I dance a dance of life.

While more graceful men are dying.

 

Author's Note

Might be too much in my own head

Reviews

[Vesa Lee]

I dance a dance of life.
While more graceful men are dying.
>>>>>>
So much packed into so few lines, the last two being especially deep.
Great write.

[.......]

This is a wonderful write.
Like the imagery

[blue blue blue.]

This reminds me quite a bit of the Holocaust, though I'm not sure if you meant for that. Either way, it's fantastic. So short, but it means so much. I love it.

[Blue Moon Ice Cream]

Nonsense on the surface, with meaning if you look closer and reread it. Very distinctive poem--it really stands out from the countless others I've read today.

[That Would Be Me]

Great imagery, great distinction, great parallelism, and fantastic depth!

[Veronica Chandler]

Wow, butterflies leading revolts and dogs plotting to divide; the images created are certainly different, but in this case I think that is the good news.

[Valette]

Very... strange. This is definately a poem that makes one go back to read it again... and again! The more I read, the more depth I find. And the deeper I go, the more understanding I glean from your choice of words.
Nicely done!

[Lily Mae]

Interesting write for sure.. xx

[Duane Klinger]

If there is too much in your head it has made you made one helluva visionary. GREAT WORK!
MKLINE

[quinfinn]

might be just the perfect analogy for what you are dealing with. nicely done...
perfect!