UNTITLED T

UNTITLED T

A Poem by Judas Hammer
"

Street Prose

"

 

Untitled T

 

Butterflies lead the revolt.

While the moths stood by with their hands in pocket.

Cats and mice are on the same team.

As the dogs plot to divide them.

Why do I stutter when I speak a word with Vs?

A young man walks with old mans shoes.

While middle aged women play bingo with cards from younger days.

I dance a dance of life.

While more graceful men are dying.

 

© 2008 Judas Hammer


Author's Note

Judas Hammer
Might be too much in my own head

My Review

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Reviews

I dance a dance of life.
While more graceful men are dying.
>>>>>>
So much packed into so few lines, the last two being especially deep.
Great write.

Posted 8 Years Ago


This is a wonderful write.
Like the imagery

Posted 8 Years Ago


This reminds me quite a bit of the Holocaust, though I'm not sure if you meant for that. Either way, it's fantastic. So short, but it means so much. I love it.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Nonsense on the surface, with meaning if you look closer and reread it. Very distinctive poem--it really stands out from the countless others I've read today.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Great imagery, great distinction, great parallelism, and fantastic depth!

Posted 8 Years Ago


Wow, butterflies leading revolts and dogs plotting to divide; the images created are certainly different, but in this case I think that is the good news.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Very... strange. This is definately a poem that makes one go back to read it again... and again! The more I read, the more depth I find. And the deeper I go, the more understanding I glean from your choice of words.
Nicely done!

Posted 8 Years Ago


Interesting write for sure.. xx

Posted 8 Years Ago


If there is too much in your head it has made you made one helluva visionary. GREAT WORK!
MKLINE

Posted 8 Years Ago


might be just the perfect analogy for what you are dealing with. nicely done...
perfect!

Posted 8 Years Ago



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15 Reviews
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Added on May 6, 2008

Author

Judas Hammer
Judas Hammer

The City of Angeles, CA



About
I like to write, live in La and write and make short films. and more..

Writing