Hidden Rejection

A poem about a guy who, stupidly, breaks your heart without knowing it...

It's okay,

Leave me without sympathy.

My heart's been broken so many times

That I don't cry anyway.

Give me another scar,

That's fine.

It's not the only one...

It's not the first time.

Please,

Stop defending your reason,

"I didn't want to break your heart."

Too late.

What did you expect?

It would've broken either way.

Ever heard

"Ignorance is bliss?"

Apparently not.

Now I'm even more numb...

My heart will rot.

I'll spend the rest of my life alone,

Living in a cardboard box I'll call home.

My dreams won't come true.

I'll have wasted my life

On stupid dreams like Me and You.

I hope you read this 

And cry 

Like I am.

I thought once I was 

Too numb to love,

To hurt anymore...

Then I discovered

You.

I feel in love with 

You.

You destroyed my walls,

(But rebuilt them 

In 30 seconds.)

I was happy.

You made me a great person:

I forgave enemies,

Smiled every day,

I never wanted escape.

For a few weeks,

I thought I could do anything.

I loved you.

Just hours before,

I was on top of the world.

I couldn't wait to see you,

To talk to you,

To be with you.

Ironic,

Isn't it?

"Are you trying to go out with me?"

My mind whispered 

"Yes!"

My mouth whispered,

 "No"

You told me that was great;

You love someone else.

All my acts of kindness

Were to be friendly...

Not to make you fall in love...

Lies.

Why would I say yes?

What did you expect?

Love isn't that simple!

Why would you tell me 

You fell for her?

Do you know 

How it hurts

To feel the stinging 

Of hidden rejection?

I wonder if you knew

How many poems I wrote 

For You.

How many hours of sleep

Sacrificed to thinking

Of You.

How many day dreams

Wasted 

On You.

  

Author's Note

So, obviously, this poem is about a guy I really really liked (maybe loved...) who, today, ask me about if I like him...I asked him "Where did you get that idea?" and he went on and said that he got that impression from how nice I was to him all the time...I told him I was just being nice and trying to be a good friend (Half truth, half lie), which would've been okay, but then he said "Yeah, well I kind of have somebody..." I suck up the pain, told him I didn't like him like that, he hugged me, and as I went to walk away to hide my broken heart, he kept trying to justify his reasons to ask me about it in the first place. I don't remember much of what he said after that( I was cutting him off saying "Yeah...it's okay...I understand...it's cool"), but I remember him saying "I didn't want to break your heart." That was one of the most stupid and insensitive things a guy has ever said to me. Honestly, what did he expect would happen? I would stand there, when he asked to talk to me in private, and confess my love for him? Then he would tell me about her and everything would be dandy? I wrote this because I thought I had finally found a great guy who liked me back...It's one of those relationships where you see all the signs so you get really hopeful...then, in a matter of seconds, your heart is destroyed and all the great memories start to seem like stupid wastes of time.