When I Speak of Pain

The title describes it

My heart is torn ...

An art is born ...

The black ink boiling in my pen

shall speak of times

when weakened minds

endure the pains of life again.

Oh hear the mourn

~ each burden worn

ignites a flare within my soul.

My vision's blurred ...

each tear obscured 

the happiness of life in whole.

Evoked from pain

and joys that wane,

desires scream a cry unheard

to give this tale,

so those in hell

can see a tear behind each word.

Author's Note

I hope you enjoy. Please leave an honest review. Constructive criticism is always welcomed.

Reviews

[Manu]

Outstanding piece ! There is life in this write and one is forced( positively) to feel the emotions behind. When I speak of pain-. A very apt title to this piece. I also find a sublime link of your poem -pain and pen in this write.
Wanting to be heard, a desire to let out those painful emotions and what not. When in pain, everything seems dim and lifeless, and tears become reality of our existence. Wonderful write and all the three stanzas are equally emoting.

[William Liston]

You're right. This poem and "Pain and a Pen" are very similar, both structurally and thematically. I do, however, put "Pain and a Pen" above this piece because the imagery is more vivid.
Anyways, I'm glad you enjoyed this poem and were able to grasp the message and emotion behind its words. It truly makes me happy. Thanks again for your kind words.

[Manu]

My pleasure :-)

[Daisy]

A powerful poetry indeed! I love how you began - "My heart is torn ...An art is born ..."
A deep reflective poetry of the state of human emotions! You are indeed a sensitive writer. So glad to have read your work. Keep writing :)

[William Liston]

I'm glad to be considered a "sensitive writer." Thank you for reviewing.

[V]

Definitely beautiful yet also very well-written. I love how you ended it.

[William Liston]

Thank you.

[costa siwale]

beautifully written piece.

[William Liston]

Thank you.

[costa siwale]

you are welcome Liston

[lightsong]

"Sometimes I have to lose You to gain my Pen", Your whole poem blew from this sentence for me, many writers need pain to create, and for this they attract more of it to their lives even without noticing, You have such a magical flow with words, I believe this gave Your write more power, as a 15 Years old I feel how very deep You are, You are aware enough of emotions and feelings, still very calm while dealing with them, You seem to me to be really special, I wish You all the best*

[William Liston]

I'm glad you enjoyed. Thanks for reviewing.

[An owl on the moon]

Your words breathe out a depth of this pain, of this place of thirst and aching. The deeper the joy one has known, the deeper pain can feel when it rises, when it comes to devour us. Yet you show so clearly that sometimes through a broken heart, words flow and paint the page with life.

[William Liston]

Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed.

[Lord of mad men]

Great. This is very brilliantly done eith such skill i could never right something like this. It is so wonderfully deep. You have a real gift. You have a bright future ahead of you. My brain thinks of good stuff just not as good as this. No were close to this. You have a way with words that many could only dream of. Your work flows so perfectly together. No words i can say do this piece justice. But keep on doing this because you a great at it.

[William Liston]

Thank you so much for your compliments on my skill. I'm glad you enjoyed.

[emmajoy]

I'm so envious of your skill at using meter, especially with such an emotional theme! Age shouldn't be mentioned but needs be: if you can write like this at your age, it's a case of 'Look out world, another great is on the way!'

May i ask, does writing structured verse come easily to you, do you pre.plan, do you just write then edit?

My only criticism is immense envy. Bravo for the writing's structure, use of words and sadness of understandable emotion. .

[William Liston]

Thank you so much for your compliments. I truly appreciate it.

As far as writing structured verse is concerned, I must say that sometimes it comes naturally and sometimes it doesn't. The easiest meter for me to write in is iambic tetrameter, so this piece came naturally. When it comes to harder rhythms such as the anapestic or dactylic, it's not so easy. I've yet to comfortably write using those rhythms.

[emmajoy]

But you work at them, and, that;s what matters. Must come back and read and learn. Others have tried to teach and inspire me... been a terrible student.

[emmajoy]

awful punctuation, sorry.

[Howard Savage]

This is a great poem with profound emotions and outstanding metaphors. The tears of life can and often obscure the happiness and joy of life. Keep writing.

[William Liston]

Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed.

[Marianne Rose]

Beautiful and deeply heartfelt, I also appreciate the form and lyrical quality attached to such darkened emotions. Thank you for showing your soulfulness and compassion in such a journey of anguish and pain.

[William Liston]

Thank you so much Marianne. I'm glad you enjoyed.