Pain and a Pen

Pain and a Pen

A Poem by William Liston
"

rhyming piece; similar to a kyrielle and ballade with internal rhyme

"

A poet heeds his aching needs;
if not, his heart would grow a hole.
His sorrow bleeds ... his spirit leads.
A poet's pen must bear his soul.

When pains emerge and lightnings surge
in violent storms he can't control,
there comes an urge to delve and purge.
A poet's pen must bear his soul.

He spills each word so cries unheard
can leak their blood upon a page.
His soul is stirred  a fiery bird
ascends its wings beyond pain's cage.
It's not mere ash from flaming rage,
but diamonds squeezed from blackest coal
that gleam their brilliance on a stage.
A poet's pen must bear his soul.



© 2017 William Liston



Author's Note

William Liston
Please leave an honest review. Constructive criticism is welcomed and encouraged. I would like to know if the repetition of masculine pronouns (although this piece is meant for both male and female poets) was distracting. I would also like to know if the lack of internal rhyme in the last four lines off-set the flow and/or readability in any way.

Special thanks to mattavelli for helping me edit this piece.

My Review

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Featured Review

Hello, William! :)
Eight syllable lines and a fun rhyme, I love it!
It looks like it was fun to write.
Your refrain hits like a hammer.
Suggestions:
In line two, replace "have" with something more pointed, like "grow".
While your thoughts are clear, your phrasing could use some tweaking where sections two and three meet.


Posted 10 Months Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.

William Liston

10 Months Ago

Hello Matt :)

I'd like to thank you for your constructive review. I really enjoyed re.. read more



Reviews

Here he stands, a life warrior bard
holding his weapon, a special kind of a brand
whistles in the air, melodies to play
flowing ink still bleeds from his heart
a poet's pen, the imprint of pain
still...
a warrior bard, all he was, all he can~


Posted 2 Months Ago


every word is true...what an incredible poem indeed. you are one talented writer.thank you very much for sharing this wonderful art.

Posted 5 Months Ago


What a poem! I just loved the theme and also its deliverance..

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

William Liston

6 Months Ago

Thank you.
I'm glad you enjoyed : )
You have a wondrous way with rhymes, refrains, and ABAB structure. This is absolutely poetic and profound. Well done!!

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

William Liston

6 Months Ago

Thank you so much. I'm glad you enjoyed, and look forward to reading your work.
I find this enjoyable on every level, both in content and in form. It has the gentle fluidity of a creek, its bed teeming with words of delight. Every poet can relate to this.

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

William Liston

6 Months Ago

What an eloquent way to put it ...
Thank you for your gorgeous review.
Truly beautiful William, it is something we all can relate to.
Thank you for writing this lovely poem.

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

William Liston

6 Months Ago

Thank you.
So very true,a poet's pen does bear their soul. :) And it is the colours of the soul that bring their pictures to life.

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

William Liston

6 Months Ago

Eloquently put.
Thank you for reviewing.
William, you have bared your soul beautifully through your words - Thank You for sharing yourself with us Sir. Angelheart

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

William Liston

6 Months Ago

I'm glad you enjoyed. Thank you, Angelheart.
this is brilliance in a bucket...thanks for sharing bruh

Posted 7 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

William Liston

7 Months Ago

What a lovely description. Thank you for your kind words.
i love how you carry your idea/thought and hold it firmly till the end without losing any affection for phrases. however, may be you could've avoided using a word more than once in a sentence such as "spill". although it is your decision, it just wouldn't break the personification of language. lastly, if you could've added something between the last two lines because they don't seem to connect.
nevertheless, you are amazing and quite regular with your writing!

Posted 7 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

William Liston

7 Months Ago

Thank you for your kind words and for your suggestions.
Regarding your first critique, I agre.. read more

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927 Views
57 Reviews
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Shelved in 8 Libraries
Added on December 12, 2016
Last Updated on June 10, 2017
Tags: poetry, writing, pain, soul

Author

William Liston
William Liston

About
Get your own valid XHTML YouTube embed code I'm an amateur poet who's been writing for about three and a half years. Some of my influences include Edgar Alla.. more..

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